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lordairgtar
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 Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 3:17 pm |
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Location: Muskego, Wisconsin
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karyoker @ Mon May 18, 2009 12:48 pm wrote: Actually I dont believe in burials or memorials but I do respect and understand others needs to do so. I bury the ones I love in my heart. My memorial to them is to dedicate and sing a song to them and it is at those times when I can feel their prescence and love. They talk to me thru dreams and make trees talk. They are not gone but in a different phase. The important things are of the spirit and not physical things or stores.
Karyoker, I whole heartedly agree
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CStaley
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Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 7:26 pm |
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My suggestion is that the bar send flowers to the family along with a card that states how sorry they are for this tragic loss AND that as a token of respect for the family, the bar will incur the costs to do what must now be done and remove the remaining material and move forward.
That's the long version.
The short version:
Just clean it up and remove it at night. They'll think the city did it and they really won't be able to complain to anyone.
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mrscott
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Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 7:48 pm |
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Hmmmm,,,sneaky,,,,underhanded,,,,,how on earth did I NOT think of that??? Good suggestion!
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masterblaster
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Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 1:56 am |
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Just out of curiosity, does anyone know what caused the accident? Was it simple driver error or perhaps was there alcohol involved? If it was a case of someone driving drunk and not wearing a seatbelt, a memorial where they died seems wrong to me, especially if it affects a business that had nothing to do with it. I can understand the greiving family wanting a memorial, but right on the road seems morbid.
I say this because IF the person WAS drinking, the family might feel the need to send a message that bars are "bad".
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Bazza
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Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 6:55 am |
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masterblaster @ Tue May 19, 2009 4:56 am wrote: Just out of curiosity, does anyone know what caused the accident? Was it simple driver error or perhaps was there alcohol involved?
Haven't heard. It was very foggy that night, but there could have been other issues.
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Babs
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Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 8:52 am |
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I'm realising that this isn't something all of you have seen before. In our area it isn't unusual to see. I've actually never given it a second thought except for feeling bad when I see flowers and a cross by the roadside. There are certain intersections that always seem to have some sort of memorial there. Maybe it's a regional thing.
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letitrip
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Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 9:17 am |
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Location: West Bend, WI
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I'll say this, the bar is caught in a catch-22 here. On one hand, they believe the memorial is damaging their business. However having the police remove the memorial or contacting the family to do so could prove even more detrimental to business. All you need is one ambitious television news reporter to get a hold of the story of the bar that fought against the roadside memorial and you could have a damaged reputation that'd put you out of business.
The only way to get this handled is for private citizens, not connected with the bar, to call the police department to complain about it.
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ripman8
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Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 11:59 am |
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lordairgtar @ Mon May 18, 2009 5:12 pm wrote: As someone who has gone through this... http://www.wisn.com/news/3856144/detail.htmlMy son-in-law's brother was killed, as was another employee, execution style by a fired former employee. There was placed on the property a memorial of the type described by the OP. The store owner had placed on the corner a stone and plaque. Before that there was a collection of stuffed animals and candles. I like the stone memorial more than I like random accumulations of bric-a-brac. On roadsides they tend to be hazardous because people will slow down to look at the collection of teddy bears, candles, flowers and what have you. Even in my case, I find these impromptu displays tacky. Ranks right up there with tattooing your deceased loved one's picture on your arm or leg. I have to disagree with that viewpoint. My brother in law was a fireman. He fell through a burning roof in 2002 and was killed. To this day there are flowers, flags, teddy bears and other memorials to him. (see last two stories)
http://fallenbrothers.com/community/arc ... -2931.html
They are all on the corner close to the street sign. The house that was there is gone. No matter how "tacky" it may look, it shows that people still care and remember. No matter how people show their respects, it's not a bad thing. Having said that, in front of a business, there needs to be a compromise of some type.
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lordairgtar
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Posted: Fri May 22, 2009 9:25 pm |
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My condolences to you, Ripman. Your Brother-In-Law died serving the community and displays of sorrow and condolence and remembrance are appropriate in that case, not every single person that dies tragically. Our city streets would be inundated. Simple memorial yes, not piles of bears and candles.
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ripman8
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Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 6:36 am |
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Thanks lord. At the memorial at our high school gym, the stands were full, over 3000 people. The governor showed up and it was very emotional. How my niece and nephew made it to the podium to speak is beyond me.
As I stated, to this day, there are little flags, teddy bears and fireman boots with flowers in them at the stop sign on the corner where the house used to be. I don't find it tacky at all, maybe becasue I have a connection.
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