Karaoke Forums

So some of you familiar with my setup know that I have stuff just about 100% automated, right down to the 5 seconds of bumper music between singers. Recently our doorman quit, and the owner seeing as how I was getting paid to sit on my duff all night asked me if I wanted to be the doorman too. It's an extra $40 @night cash, and with the tipjar being so low as it's been I decided why the heck not.

So Saturday night we're filled past capacity. We had so many people the waitress couldn't get through the crowd to do her job, people at the bar were stuck because there was to many people behind them, and it just looked dangerous as hell. So I went up to my boss Toshi.

"Toshisan, should I cutoff? No more people?"
"Hai toqersan!"

So with my marching orders I started turning people away from the door. Most of the folks had no hurt feelings until a group of about 6 Filipino guys came.

"Sorry guys, we're filled to capacity, you can't come in"

"Aww cmon man, our friends are inside"

"Nope, sorry, it's a fire code thing, nothing personal"

Right then some folks that were there earlier and had been smoking walked past them and came in.

"You just let them in!"

"Yah, but they were here earlier"

"EFF YOU MAN, YOU JUST DON'T WANT US HERE BECAUSE WE'RE BROWN"

Jesus.. I just sat there astounded. "No Toq, it's not worth it" I told myself. I was sitting on my stool near the backdoor, one chubby one from the group kept opening the door, popping it in while yelling "RACIST". After 3 tries to goad me he gave up.

After a while one of the customers told me these guys were outside. I went and stood outside the door.

"HEY CHUCK YOU WHITE BOY YOU'RE A RACIST"

"HE MAY BE RACIST, BUT I BET HE LOVES OUR WOMEN"

I just had enough.

"OK you guys gotta get outta here"

"CHUCK YOU, YOU GET OUT OF HERE"

"I work here, look if you don't leave I'm calling the cops"

"GO AHEAD!"

I knew I was getting nowhere with these clowns. I pulled out my phone and dialed 911.

"911 operator what's your emergency?"

"Yah I work at the 7 Bamboo, we're at capacity and I told these guys they couldn't come in, but they're insisting I'm not letting them in because I'm a racist"

They all sort of started moving towards me so I pointed at one of our many security cameras and said "Hey, do what you want to do, but we got cameras on you"

5 of them backed down. One of them kept charging.

"So what's going on, is anyone attacking you?" the 911 operator asked me.

"Not yet, but he's getting in my face"

Genius yelled in my face, and into the mouthpiece "RACIST" then spat on my shoe.

"OK he just spat on my shoe, that's assault right?"

"Just stay on the line sir"

"Don't worry mam, I'm not about to waste my time throwing a punch at these guys, I'll just wait for you to get here."

Another one of their friends came out of the crowd. "What's going on?" I think he honestly wanted to diffuse the situation, but he put his hands on both of us.

"Whatever you do, do not touch me" I told him.

"CHUCK YOU YOU CHUCKIN RACIST!" and his little friend spat on my chest this time.

"Uhh He just spat on my chest now"

"Don't worry, units are on the way."

Just then I heard the familiar FAPFAPFAPFAPFAP of the SJPD Ghetto bird.

"You sent the copter for me?" I asked

"I am showing it in the area!"

"Wow thanks! I feel so special!"

"OK there should be 2 units out in front of the building now do you see them?"

Just then I saw a cop coming up the alleyway flashlight in hand. I let him know I was the one that made the call.

We ran out front, I saw the guy that spat on me. "There he is! He's wearing a black and red plaid flannel, his black baseball cap will have some red lettering in the front!"

The cop and his partner grabbed the guy and made him stand against the wall. They frisked him, cuffed him, then the entire group from inside came out. 2 cops, 20 Filipino boys and girls all trying to profess this guys innocence and marching towards the cops.

"BACK AWAY!" Both cops had their hands on their guns, and the other hand out in front of them like a "STOP" motion.

One of the cops came up to me, "You know, he's saying it's not him, on a scale of 1 to 10 how positive are you?"

"Well, I don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs. Before your buddies grabbed him, I had his outfit described to a T, and if worse comes to worse, you can always cotton swab this spit on my jacket for DNA evidence!"

That last bit made the cop chuckle. "Ok this is Officers Joe beat, I'm gonna let him talk to you"

They conversed really quickly, and Joe came up to me. "Hey man, you can press charges if you want, but then it's paperwork, and if he fights it you're going to have to testify in court"

"Having been in on both sides of the Justice system I know that judges hate these time wasters. They'd rather be going after the slam dunk rapists and murderers." I told him. "Just let him off with a stern warning, I wouldn't want any retalitation" I told him.

Joe walked back over to the genius. "Hey, so this guy is sober, he doesn't drink or do drugs, I believe him."

"Aww man" Genius looked nervous, like he knew he was going to be shoved in the back of a car.

"I told him to press charges, but he's gonna let you off as long as you promise to never come here again"

"I'll NEVER come here as long as he's bouncing"

The cops uncuffed him. "HEY CAN I HAVE MY ID BACK?" After that he just kind of disappeared into the night.

I felt good. I stood my ground, didn't let them get my cool, and won in the end.

Smart move, that you called the cops. I was in a friend's bar last friday night and it was packed and the crowd overflow to the street. No fight.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?id=10 ... &aid=26119

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I can neither confirm nor deny ever having or knowing anything about nothing.... mrscott

Sounds like another fun filled night in San Jose...

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Wam bam thank you m'am.

BTW, well played, and good for you for keeping your cool, sounds like you could have some good extra cash as a doorman! Plus, I really hate when people take Chuck's name in vain. I have yet to witness the full 7 Bamboo glory, because it is always PACKED when I try to go there.

I had to kick a guy out of my show on Sunday for making a very off color remark about my fiance. I lost my stuff entirely, yelled at him and threw him out, came back in a personally apologized to everyone in the crowd about me losing my cool. Then sang "Shiny Happy People".

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Wam bam thank you m'am.

Do I know you Roger? Did we eat at Denny's once? That's the only Roger I know.

You were so sober that you remembered every single quote of dialogue down to the last letter. Good times

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C Mc
KJ, FL

NICE JOB..now just watch your back

Good read Toquer. Glad you made it out unscathed other than dirty laundry!

-may be a good time to incorporate a HAND STAMP for re-entering the venue...??

the extra cash is a good incentive and it sounds like you have good releations with the owner. I would just make sure, either verbally but preferably in writing, that if you encounter some kind of injury (let's hope not!) in the future, that HE or HIS insurance will cover your expenses and you won't be hung out to dry.

As a contractor you're not covered, except for general liability (falling down) as i understand it, but as a contractor-playing-employee, well that's a grey area i'm sure.

PROTECT YOURSELF TOQUER!!!

I don't believe we have ever met. Roger isn't my real name, just a silly stage name. I live up in Redwood City.

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Wam bam thank you m'am.

Sounds like you did everything as good as could have been done. If a place gets filled beyond capacity, can't the fire department shut them down? Not good. Too bad there isn't some kind of sign you can just turn on that says "At capacity, no further admittance."

Sunday I was on stage and after Midnight I said "Thank you MLK because I don't work on Monday" while people cheered on I sung Filter's Hey Man Nice Shot. People did nothing but rocking out later on one guy thought about it and got my cringe humor. I had to try it out Monday and more people got the joke. But I was never called racist.