So I'm doing my karaoke gig at the casino tonight (Friday) and we have a competition coming up on Fri Aug, 30. First place prize is $500. This guy walks in around 11:30PM, comes up to me and says, "I'm here to get my $500. Let me sing!"
I told him the competition was not until Aug 30, which is 2 weeks away. He says okay, no problem, fills out a slip, hands it to me and asks how long is the wait. I told him he had 7 singers in front of him, which to me is really not that long at all. He pulls out $2, throws it on my table and says, "Okay, there you go. I'm next!"
I told him I don't take bribes. He said it's not a bribe, it's a tip. I told him thanks for the tip, but I don't take tips in exchange for moving people up the list. He says, "Ohhhhh, I get you. One moment, I'll be right back with a crisp $5 bill."
!!!!! I told him that I still would not move him up the list for $5 either. So then he tried that tired old line, "But I have to leave shortly. I won't be here by that time. I have to sing NOW! Plus you need to let me sing now because the singers you have now are boring, but when I get up there, I'll bring the excitement and people are gonna love what I do! Come on, let me sing now! You won't regret it!"
I told him that I know that there are some kjs out there who take tips to move people up the list, but I am not one of them. He has to wait like everyone else. So he finally just walked away. After about 4 singers, he comes back with a $20 bill. Once again, I told him the same thing and he walked away.
Anyway, there was this little indian girl who signed up right before he did. So of course, she took the stage right before him. She sang Aretha Franklin's "Dr Feelgood." This little skinny indian girl sang the crap outta that song!!! She brought the entire place to it's feet and got a huge standing ovation when she was done. I then called Mr Diva to the stage.
He RELUCTANTLY walks up to the stage. I hand him his mic and he says, "Oh my god! You mean I have to follow THAT?"
He takes the mic, gets on stage and starts yapping to the audience... "Hey everybody! My name is _______ and we are about to have a good time!!! Let's get ready to partaaaaayyyy!!!"
The song he chose to sing was "Mother" by Danzig. He starts out yelling in the mic... yep, he's a screamer. About 1/3rd of the way through, he stops singing and says on the mic, "What's wrong with you people? I don't see anyone nodding their head or dancing or anything? Can you all not feel what I'm doing?" A few people started moving in their seats a little after he said that. He stops singing again and this time says, "I'm done. This sucks." He hands me the mic and walks off the stage. Doesn't even finish the song. Classic!!!
! It couldn't have happened to a more deserving person.
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Very few singers are totally honest with themselves about their singing abilities, or their lack of. They choose songs that are really not suited to them. You can tell if you are nailing a song or not, by the audience's reaction, the lack of reaction means you still need to search for the right song. It is my firm belief that everyone has at least one song they do better than the rest, it is their song in a way. That is why there are so many one hit wonders, they found their one song. That is why finding the song you do best or the style that suits your voice is a never ending quest, a journey of exploration.
