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Agreed!!!

Babs
I might know a couple of my Biker friends that would have a "chat " with him

Babs

Maybe just talking to this guy and findig out what going on might ease your fears.
It is possible he was a little drunk and just had some poor judgement.
You will get a better sense of his intentions if you talk to him about it.

Talk to him at the bar with the owner present. You might be able to just put this to rest. Without talking to him you will always be looking over your shoulder even if you tell the police.

I agree with jam....

Going to the police could very well make him mad, I'd try to talk to him about it first. He may come up and apologize and say "sorry, I was drunk as hell".

BUT, that being said, even if the talk seems to go good, I'd be wary of him from now on, because he does know where you live now. Keep it in the back of your mind, check out his location when you leave the bar. Sometimes, "walk softly and carry a big stick" is the best method.


(in your case, perhaps hace Mace or Pepper spray on your keychain?)

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

"Honey, why don't you give me your home number or your wife's cell - we can have her come and pick you up because apparently you've gone home with the wrong woman."

Being drunk is NO excuse. Even if there was no ciminal activity (and there may be depending on your jurisdiction, following can be construed as stalking), you may be able to get a restraining order. Again check with your attorney.

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You can be strange but not a stranger

although you can never be too careful...a restraining order has never stopped anyone who was determined to break it.

Why get this guy all ON EDGE when maybe maybe it was just a very stupid thing he did. He should have tried ASHLEY MADISON if he was looking for a little side action .

At the least get his NAME and file a report with the police ???

Karen I needed a giggle, thanks.

You are all so supportive. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it !

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I always try humor first, then drag out all the heavy artillery if that fails.

Jeeze, I love all the interestingly conflicting advice you get here. Talk to the police without a doubt. They don't have to talk to the guy if you're worried about getting him worked up over nothing but to not have this incident documented is a serious mistake. My guess from the description is that this guy had no intentions of you finding out he followed you but when confronted had to come up with a quick excuse. It doesn't fly.

For some reason he wanted to know where you live and that would make anyone nervous. A restraining order at this point is probably a bit of an over-reaction, but I would be very careful with this guy from here on out. No leeway, if he doesn't anything else that just don't seem "right" then you might want to consider a restraining order. This is why getting it documented with the police is so important because it makes handling future occurrences much easier. Otherwise the first question in court will be why didn't you report these other events.

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DJ Tony
Let It Rip Karaoke

If you really don't plan on telling his wife, you should really have a brief talk with him, and tell him how wrong he was, and that anything even close to making a pass at you in the future, will result in you telling his wife the whole story from the beginning.
Only one guy that I know of seems to fit the discription by the friendship connection, and gosh, I sure hope it's not him.....do not blow this off as a one time problem...."make sure" it never happens again, though I'd be surprised if he doesn't stay away for a while........be safe, and take care, my firend
ps....I met Babs in 2006, so it doesn't desribe me...... ...My little joke in my previous post....was in bad taste....sorry

This is when the ITALIAN blood comes out. I think you should have your fiance' come to your show with some of his friends. Very NICELY greet the guy, and join him at the table. Over a few drinks strike up a conversation about the LAST GUY that decided it was a good idea to follow you home, and laugh about how he was CRYING, and BEGGING for mercy when they saw him last. "Oh, but we know YOU would NEVER follow Babs home AGAIN, you just wanted to make sure she got home ok, RIGHT BUDDY"!!!! Then give a good PAT on the back, "see ya around PAL!!

Rosario
Srnitynow

Hey Babs... as a practical precaution you should carry mace. Have it out, in hand going to and from your car!

Be vigilant... always have your keys out, in hand so you don't have to fumble with your purse, and have an escort from the bar.

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Good music, good friends, howling good times!

Keys between the fingers can be a great deterrent also. Who needs brass knuckles.

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You can be strange but not a stranger

Definitely file a police report. The police don't even have to talk to the guy, but, there NEEDS to be some kind of documentation just in case this does escalate. I'm speaking from experience. I had a situation - somewhat different - where I should have filed police reports against this person on more than one occasion. Things did end up escalating and going to court. Because I had not filed the police reports, it became "he said/she said" and things did not go as well in my favour as I had hoped. Following you home once may not get much attention, but, if - God forbid - it happens again, it then becomes a concern, proves possible stalking and gives you proof to back up a restraining order if it becomes necessary.

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"I hold the key to an open door....will I ever be free...?"

Ok I am changing my view. Yes tell the police to get it on file, but also ask that they do not confront him as a first time offense.

I still favor the banning from the venue route. If it comes down to later problems that is "documentation" of a first offense for any later court action.

It also really depends on the personality of the person in question. Someone who is apparently agressive and outgoing may need a very strong hint (possibly even a talk to the police). But if they are a more quiet person, many times a more subtle hint or action may be enough.

Regardless of what is done any response (however justified) is an escalation and should be done with caution.

Babs carry mace. Guy sounds harmless but has something for you. If you didn't let him know then that you have no interest in him, then he needs to know that and that it scared you to high heaven. He may already feel stupid about it.

What he did was not illegal but it was wrong. You know the situation better than all of us put together, you have to determine if you will hard line this at the onset or not. Let us know what's going on.

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KingBing Entertainment C'mon Up! I have a song for you!!! [font=MS Sans Serif][/font]

Fred, wrong, wrong, wrong. (Babs please try not to get frightened by this) The most successful serial rapitsts and killers were by many accounts (not all but most) have been described by those who have dealt with them as polite, non-descript, friendly, etc. Ie Jeffery Dahlmer, Ted Bundy, BTK (Dennis Rader), here in Canada Paul Bernardo, and many many others. They come in all shapes, sizes, ages and many married. Police have been surprised on many occassions on who the criminal was. It's only after in-depth interviews that the real personalities of these people come out. That's why it's so scary. No one knows until they strike.

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You can be strange but not a stranger

We women are so trained to be polite that we will be polite to someone who is being polite, even when we are wondering the entire time if this person means us harm.

I think this is the reason I got so spooked. I felt like my judgment was off. I would have never expected this from this person. It makes me see things in a whole different light now. You really don't know what people are capable of. I've been dealing with bar patrons for twenty yrs and thought I could spot when someone was off.

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