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Country Bumpkins

What's the most popular pick-up line in Alabama?
Nice tooth!

When you drive into their yard the first thing you notice is several cars sitting around in various states of repair.

Then there's the toilets in the front yards with flowers planted in them! LOL

I'll settle for you.

(The fact you stated you had to go cook weighed alot in your favor. :hug:

...Plus you let me look and did't slap me)

Melinda @ Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:28 pm wrote:

Then there's the toilets in the front yards with flowers planted in them! LOL

Here in Texas that is a very common site. Even in the nice neighborhoods. And no, I don't have one in my yard. I gotta wait for my toilet to break cause the ubby won't let me buy a new one to put out in the yard.... LOL

"good luck with Keith"...... LMAO

Why am I the only one who doesn't run the other direction?

Keith, awww, shucks... looks like you might have to "settle" for ME.
(atleast here in these forums) :D

Author:	jdmeister [ Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:52 am ]
Post subject:	Rednecks
Country Bumpkins Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can't touch it till she's fourteen. --------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a redneck? The good ol' boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the most popular pick-up line in Alabama? Nice tooth! --------------------------------------------------------------------- Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live? "asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me? "There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?" --------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when your staying in a Kentucky hotel? When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person at the front desk says "go ahead." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married? There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi? A documentary. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- How many rednecks does it take eat a 'possum? Two. One to eat, and one to watch out for traffic. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did God invent armadillos? So that Texas rednecks can have possum on the halfshell. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Where was the toothbrush invented? Oklahoma. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says, "Bout what?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas burned down? Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- A new law recently passed in North Carolina: When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the best thing to ever come out of Arkansas? I-40. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Two Mississippians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says,"Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?" "Jus' some chickens." "If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?" "Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them." "OK. Ummmmm . . . five?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Oklahoma, and a hurricane in Florida have in common? Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- A Mississippian came home and found his house on fire, he rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!" "OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?" "Shucks, don't you still have those big red trucks?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more? 'Cuz 17 and under not admitted. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in the same room? A full set of teeth.

Author:	pflugerville [ Wed Jan 09, 2008 9:08 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
jdmeister @ Sat Jan 05, 2008 10:52 am wrote: Country Bumpkins What's the most popular pick-up line in Alabama? Nice tooth! actually it's "nice tooth Sis" :cowboy:

Author:	vbu2c5 [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 3:35 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
! Oak street one is my favorite. By the way, I'm from Texas! I think I'm insulted............. naaah!

Author:	Trex [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:40 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
Never Mind....My Question was answered....

Author:	Catseyeview [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 5:44 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
Y'all pokin' fun of us here hillbillies? LMAO

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Author:	karyoker [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:43 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
When you drive into their yard the first thing you notice is several cars sitting around in various states of repair. Most have weeds growing up out of the engine area as high as the roof. Then a bunch of hounds come running out scattering chickens and other things. Some of the dogs look friendly, the rest look like junkyard dogs. You are absolutely afraid to get out. Next you notice some kids peeking out from hiding spots. A couple of them walk up and greet you with broad shy grins. A mom comes out with a baby on her hip, hair all disheveled and bare foot. "I'm looking for ron anderson" "Oh he lives over the hill on the right" By this time all the kids are out beaming and chattering. So you talk awhile and introduce yourself and laugh with the kids. Months later you might be in town or somewhere and somebody will call your name and say hi. It's one of the kids. You have friends for life. You damn right I'm a redneck!!!!

Author:	Catseyeview [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:00 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
Sounds like my third cousin twice removed's house

Author:	karyoker [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:12 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
Wa'll Ill garantey you one thing. It was these people that built this country It sure as hel* wasnt these weirdos running around now bombing schools and sech. It's sad but they are gradually destroying the backbone of this nation with their weird notions.

Author:	Catseyeview [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:15 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
Amen Brother Ollie, Amen :hug:

Author:	Charmin_Gibson [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 11:56 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
karyoker @ Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:43 am wrote: When you drive into their yard the first thing you notice is several cars sitting around in various states of repair. Oh good lord, THAT sounds like MY house;) (totally not my fault though, blame the boys and my hubby... I only have 3 autos personally, and one of them is even drivable) LMAO [schild=1 fontcolor=000000 shadowcolor=C0C0C0 shieldshadow=1]Redneck Pride[/schild]

Author:	Keith02 [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:14 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
Dang!...you're cute, AND you have access to 3 back seats too? Got your GPS coordinates handy? ...Oh, do your dogs bark at strangers in the night?

Author:	Melinda [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 6:28 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
Then there's the toilets in the front yards with flowers planted in them! LOL

Author:	Charmin_Gibson [ Thu Jan 10, 2008 7:04 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
Dang, Melinda..... You're pretty dang good looking... you're gonna make Keith drool and bring on all the charm he can muster. You best be prepared. Keith... Who you talking to? Me? I no longer have a dog. :( I don't even have Banjo anymore, and I've had him since 1998... no longer have ANY dogs. Except Tucker's little thing, but he's more rat than dog. We don't have a place that's good for dogs, they could never run and play, they were always on a chain. And that was not a good life, so I got them new homes. Sad, but better off for them. When I move back out to the country... that's the first thing on my list... I am getting another puppy. And yeah, if ya WERE talking to me.... I can show ya some back seat tricks I bet you've never seen before. :whistle: Now, go flirt with Melinda... I gotta get off here and cook dinner. :hug: GPS??.... wtf?? :drunk: .

Author:	Keith02 [ Fri Jan 11, 2008 2:45 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
Charmin, you sure know how to get me in a bind. Danged right she's cute, too cute- I couldn't stand the strain lookin at her 24/7...and besides that she's probably high maintenance too. I'll settle for you. (The fact you stated you had to go cook weighed alot in your favor. ...Plus you let me look and did't slap me) I just wish Melinda would put some pics in her gallery so I don't strain my eyes!

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Author:	Isis [ Fri Jan 11, 2008 3:07 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
Melinda @ Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:28 pm wrote: Then there's the toilets in the front yards with flowers planted in them! LOL Here in Texas that is a very common site. Even in the nice neighborhoods. And no, I don't have one in my yard. I gotta wait for my toilet to break cause the ubby won't let me buy a new one to put out in the yard....

Author:	Charmin_Gibson [ Fri Jan 11, 2008 3:27 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
Keith02 @ Fri Jan 11, 2008 2:45 pm wrote: I'll settle for you. Excuse me? If you think you have to "settle" for me, then go get yourself something better. :no: Quote: (The fact you stated you had to go cook weighed alot in your favor. ...Plus you let me look and did't slap me) Oh? You like women who cook? I didn't know that;) I mean, it's not like I put that comment in just to sway things my direction... Keith, if you didn't oggle every gal here, well.... you just wouldn't be you. LMAO :hug:

Author:	Melinda [ Fri Jan 11, 2008 5:22 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
Isis @ Fri Jan 11, 2008 3:07 pm wrote: Melinda @ Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:28 pm wrote: Then there's the toilets in the front yards with flowers planted in them! LOL Here in Texas that is a very common site. Even in the nice neighborhoods. And no, I don't have one in my yard. I gotta wait for my toilet to break cause the ubby won't let me buy a new one to put out in the yard.... I've just seen a few of them around. I didn't know this was common in Texas! No offense intended Isis. :hug: And yes Keith, I guess I would be considered high maintainance, sorry! LOL Good luck with Keith, Charmin! :handshake:

Author:	Charmin_Gibson [ Fri Jan 11, 2008 5:27 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
"good luck with Keith"...... LMAO Why am I the only one who doesn't run the other direction? Keith, awww, shucks... looks like you might have to "settle" for ME. (atleast here in these forums) :D I gotta admit, there are some pretty hard core rednecks around here, but I don't know anyone with a toilet-vase in their front yard. Lots of other things.... I've seen old iron headboards from beds, china tea cups, old chairs with circular holes cut in the center w/a flower pot in it, old #2 washtubs... but I can't think of anyone with a toilet. But- I wont knock it till I've seen it. Might be kinda pretty. (but then, hell, what's my name? haha... ) .

Author:	Singing Squid [ Fri Jan 11, 2008 5:49 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Rednecks
BlueStainedShoes @ Fri Jan 11, 2008 7:27 pm wrote: "good luck with Keith"...... LMAO Why am I the only one who doesn't run the other direction? Keith, awww, shucks... looks like you might have to "settle" for ME. (atleast here in these forums) :D Because you feel sorry for him? LMAO Besides...I didn't think you were "fluffy" enough for him :rotflmao: