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[ 9 posts ] |
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Jian
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 8:01 am |
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Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2004 10:18 pm Posts: 4080 Location: Serian Been Liked: 0 time
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Why Microsoft shouldn't make cars.
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart;
in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy
more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that's powered by the sun, more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.
9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps, even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
_________________ I can neither confirm nor deny ever having or knowing anything about nothing.... mrscott
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SweetestL
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 8:40 am |
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karyoker
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 8:43 am |
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Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2004 3:43 pm Posts: 6784 Location: Fort Collins Colorado USA Been Liked: 5 times
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Jian this is the post of the year What is so sad it is true.... If Henry Ford was still alive we would have that automobile though.
This is similar to the music industry You have to buy the cd's. Pay $3 a gallon to transport them to the gig. Then pay again so you can use them.
_________________ Join The Karaokle Singers Social Network. Upload Your Music!!
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Charmin_Gibson
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 10:09 am |
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2004 10:32 am Posts: 7385 Images: 8 Location: Out West Been Liked: 47 times
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Jian @ Tue Jan 29, 2008 8:01 am wrote: 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
Well, if that be the case, then I got news for you. Bill Gates HAS built an automobile.
It's called a Ford Bronco. LMAO
_________________ ♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥
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knightshow
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 3:49 pm |
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Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2002 2:40 am Posts: 7468 Location: Kansas City, MO Been Liked: 1 time
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yeah, that's an old joke, but still a classic. Thanks Jian! :yum:
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Jian
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 3:54 pm |
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Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2004 10:18 pm Posts: 4080 Location: Serian Been Liked: 0 time
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knightshow @ 30th January 2008, 7:49 am wrote: yeah, that's an old joke, but still a classic. Thanks Jian! :yum:
I was readlng one of your post and it remind me of this joke; so I look around to search for it. It sill it one of the best of its kind. LMAO
_________________ I can neither confirm nor deny ever having or knowing anything about nothing.... mrscott
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Catseyeview
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Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 1:38 pm |
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Joined: Fri Dec 17, 2004 12:56 pm Posts: 1835 Location: No. Kentucky Been Liked: 2 times
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Now that's funny stuff LMAO
_________________ [shadow=white][scroll]Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.....It's about learning to dance in the rain[/scroll][/shadow]
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Kuelman1
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Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 6:30 pm |
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Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2008 10:01 am Posts: 780 Images: 0 Location: Champaign IL Been Liked: 180 times
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Oh and don't forget if you changed too many different parts you would have to call GM and get a activation code so you could unlock it..........
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