Karaoke Forums

Okay, we all know the usual excuses people throw at us in an attempt to be sing next or soon - "Hey, I've gotta go to work," "Can I sing next? My grandmother is here from out of town and hasn't heard me sing before." "I have to go soon and I was wondering if I could sing next."

There's gotta be more of these...anybody?

k

OK I think I've got one to top anything. And this was just a couple of weeks ago.

"Can I go soon? My wife just called and went into labor. I've got to take her to the hospital."

This guy was in last Saturday. I asked him if everything went OK. He said the labor was false. He wasn't lying... his table was all nodding their heads in agreement. I guess he knew what he was doing.

Probably nothing new here:

1. "I am good friends with the owner, he/she said I'm next."
My response: "I am good friends with the owner, too, and he/she said they wanted nothing to do with running karaoke. That's why they hired me."

2. "I get violent if I have to wait too long." (My Favorite.)
My response: "I have a conceal and carry permit."

3. "I only have three months to live, can I be next?" (This was a really drunk person. Come to think of it, I haven't seen him in awhile.)
My response: "If you have three months, I'll get you in before then."

4. "Can I sing before I get too drunk?"

5. "I am better than everyone else here, you should let me sing every other song."
My response: "Sorry, everyone waits their turn, even divas."

I have heard this one more than once:
I need to go I just got a call from my babysitter & I need to drive my kid to the hospital - can I be next?

Odd thing is 9 out of 10 times they end up staying anyway.

_________________
LIKE Lonman on Facebook - Lonman Productions Karaoke & my main site via my profile!

I can't remember exactly where I got this, from another KJ somewhere, but I have used on a few occasions. I have it in a word.doc format if anyone should want it..pm me with your email addy.(the formatting is much better in the word.doc)


WHEN YOU JUST CAN'T WAIT
(AND ARE GONNA BUG ME UNTILL I LET YOU SING NEXT)

Dear Singer,

Here's your ticket to instant karaoke stardom - Who knows, you might win a slap on the back, a rousing ovation or even the heartfelt sympathies of the audience. Build up your case in easy-to-follow steps!

Simply complete the form, selecting the most appropriate SINGLE statement. Please select/circle only one choice from each set of options. Fill in all of the blanks completely. Complete the declaration and return to your KJ for prompt and efficient attention!

Section 1:

It is imperative that I / _____________________ (name of singer, if not yourself) sing the next song because… (select one option from section 2)

Section 2:

a) I / my mother / my father / my brother / my sister / my best friend / my_____________ is
dying / has died of________________(please state disease) and it is / was my / their
favorite song.
b) I am / they are the best singer you'll ever hear / will hear tonight.
c) I / they really want to sing...NOW!!! - forget everyone else, they'll never know!
d) I'm only here in this pub / town / county / country for the next 5 minutes / 10 minutes /
half hour / hour / evening / day / week. And want to sing before I go.
e) I'm big / small / attractive, and / but, hard / persistent / a femme fatale / hunky.
And I'll bully / cuddle / flirt with / press my chest against / cry at / spit sputum at / shout
at / put my mouth far too close to you while I talk until you let me sing

Section 3: Gain some extra leverage by choosing from:

a) All my mates / family / mates and family are here
b) I want to be remembered when I'm gone.
c) I am close personal friend / relative, of the manager / owner.
d) I've been here all night. I'm a regular!
e) It's my 18th / 21st / 40th Birthday / I'm_____________(enter your age), you know.
f) I will give you $1 / $5 / $10 / $20 / $50 / $100 or will buy you a drink.
(Please note that only the $100 selection will put you up next.)

Section 4. Declaration:

The information I have supplied is completely honest and truthful, 'cause I'm not
a fibber / selfish / arrogant / impatient.

Full Name (put "X" if illiterate or too drunk)_______________________

Date_______________________ Signature______________________________

_________________
Music speaks to the heart in ways words cannot express.

This really happened:
"I have to sing now. I have to leave early to get sleep before my mother's funeral tomorrow."
And sadly, the guy wasn't lying.

Also:
"I have to sing now. My leg is really hurting from where I got shot the other day."
Sadly, this guy wasn't lying, either.

MFAO!!!! I vaguely remember that one.


Here's a few more that I think I remeber seeing posted in this forum many years ago....


1. I'm pregnant and in Labor, and need to sing before my Water Breaks. The woman got up to sing, and as she finished her song, her Water did Break.

2. I need to sing now so that I can get back home and take care of my Husband/Wife who is in bed in a coma.

I think Matt (knightshow) came up with that one. I know he had it on his website anyway.

_________________
LIKE Lonman on Facebook - Lonman Productions Karaoke & my main site via my profile!

OK... Maybe that's where I read it.

I didn't come up with it, but DID have it on my website.

I love your responses. I may steal a few.

I get most of the ones you've all heard before. UsuallyI hear - I have to leave or sing for a family member or friend who has to leave. Those are mostly used.

Also: My taxi's here and won't wait any longer.
I'm leaving for Iraq tomorrow
I have to sing this song now because it goes with the song that was just sung.
Everyone wants to hear me sing because I'm good (not other people because they suck?)
The bartender said it was okay. (that one makes me laugh)

_________________
[shadow=pink][glow=deepskyblue]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

Okay, I think someone should compile this list - and all of us should carry it, and hand it out to people who even THINK about doing the begging thing. I'd suggest to them, "If your reason is NOT on this list, I'll let you sing next."

k

this was the whole form in it's entire form...

= =========================
Dear Singer,



WHEN YOU JUST CAN'T WAIT AND ARE GONNA BUG ME TILL I LET YOU SING NEXT



Here's your ticket to instant karaoke stardom - Who knows, you might win a slap on the back, a rousing ovation or even the heartfelt sympathies of the audience. Build up your case in easy-to-follow steps!



Simply complete the form, selecting the most appropriate SINGLE statement. Please select only one choice from each set of options. Fill in the blanks where you see____________. Complete the declaration and return to your KJ for prompt and efficient attention!



Section 1:



It is imperative that I/_____________________ (name of singer, if not yourself) sing the next song because. (select one option from section 2)



Section 2:



a) I/my mother/my father/my brother/my sister/my best friend/my_____________ is dying/has died of________________(please state disease) and it is/was my/their favorite song.

b) I am/they are the best singer you'll ever hear/will hear tonight.

c) I/they really want to sing...NOW!!! - forget everyone else, they'll never know!

d) I'm only here in this pub/town/county/country for the next 5 minutes/10 minutes/half hour/hour/evening/day/week. And want to sing before I go.

e) I'm big/small/attractive, and/but, hard/persistent/a femme fatale/hunky. And I'll bully/cuddle/flirt with/press my chest against/cry at/spit sputum at/shout at/put my mouth far too close to you while I talk until you let me sing



Section 3: Gain some extra leverage by choosing from:



a) All my mates/family/mates and family, are here

b) I want to be remembered when I'm gone.

c) I am close personal friend/relative, of the manager/owner.

d) I've been here all night. I'm a regular!

e) It's my 18th/21st/40th Birthday/I'm_____________(your age), you know.

f) I will give you $1/$5/$10/$20/$50/$100 or will buy you a drink. (Please note that only the $100 selection will put you up next.)



Section 4. Declaration:



The information I have supplied is completely honest and truthful, 'cause I'm not a fibber/selfish/arrogant/impatient.



Full Name (put "X" if illiterate or too drunk)_______________________



Date_______________________ Signature______________________________

MAO! I got a new one Monday night. A woman put in four songs towards the end of the show for duets - 2 songs each with two separate men. I told her that I wasn't certain there'd be time for all of them, to which she responded, "Oh, well you have to make time, because if I sing with one and not the other, my chances of getting laid tonight are reduced by 50%.

_________________
Eat, Sleep, Host Karaoke, DJ
Love It! (Periodic Bath is Good!)

Now that's funny Mike !

Now we are responsible for who gets laid. Maybe we should pass out rubbers with every duet.

_________________
[shadow=pink][glow=deepskyblue]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

Similar to "I'm better than anyone else" is "I sing in a band, you should let me go next." If you're such a great singer, then why are you at karaoke night?

You should have said, if you don't sing with either but sing with me, your chance just went up to 100%. Unless she was ugly.

_________________

Seize the day and SING!!!

Think I have posted this before but; Anyhoo, this young little thing came up and asked how long before she could sing if she put in. I told her about 30 min. She left and came back up just a couple of minutes later and said; "What if I show you my boobs?"

My wife sits at the front table any night I'm there; handles books an etc. Anyway, she is rather well endowed. I told the girl, "Honey, you see that attractive lady sitting at that front table?" She looked and said, "Yes." I said. "That's my wife, now do you really think I'm going to be impressed?" She looked at my wife; looked at her own chest; looked back up at me and then lowered her head and shook from side to side as she stepped back down from the stage.

Kelly

Three cheers for our own wive's bewbies!

same experience here... had a gal want to show me her money makers, and I pointed out Ruthie, who has some fairly good sized tatas... to date, larger than any gal that wants to show 'em to me...

same result... the one that wants to show 'em gets all bummed out! !