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Once upon a time, in a place overrun with monkeys, a man appeared and
announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for £10 each. The
villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the
forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at £10 and as supply started to diminish,
they became harder to catch, so the villagers stopped their effort.

The man then announced that he would now pay £20 for each one. This
renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys
again. But soon the supply diminished even further and they were ever
harder to catch, so people started going back to their farms and
forgot about monkey catching.

The man increased his price to £25 each and the supply of monkeys
became so scarce that it was an effort to even see a monkey, much less
catch one.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys for £50! However,
since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would
now buy on his behalf.

While the man was away the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at all
these monkeys in the big cage that the man has bought. I will sell
them to you at £35 each and when the man returns from the city, you
can sell them to him for £50 each.'

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
They never saw the man or his assistant again, and once again there
were monkeys everywhere.

Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.

That surely makes it easy to understand

No regulation......

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Laughing all the way to the bank!

I've never had it explained quite so well!

Where did you and Bud find all those monkeys in Texas?

That's the beauty of the stock market.. You can buy futures too...