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Home Security System In The South
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Author:  jdmeister [ Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Home Security System In The South
How To Install A Home Security System In The South
===================================================

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size
14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns
and Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition.
Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked
the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't
think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all
the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside.

"Cooter"

:mrgreen:
Author:  lordairgtar [ Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Home Security System In The South
Howsa bout:


Dear UPS man,
Leave anti venom on porch. My rattlers have escaped the pens and they are hiding in the house somewhere. I'll be back as soon as I get back from the hardware store with more chicken wire to fix the hole.
Dave G.
President of
Venom procurers of Southern Wisconsin
Author:  MorganLeFey [ Tue Oct 14, 2008 9:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Home Security System In The South
lordairgtar @ Wed Oct 15, 2008 4:30 pm wrote:
Howsa bout:


Dear UPS man,
Leave anti venom on porch. My rattlers have escaped the pens and they are hiding in the house somewhere. I'll be back as soon as I get back from the hardware store with more chicken wire to fix the hole.
Dave G.
President of
Venom procurers of Southern Wisconsin


jdmeister @ Wed Oct 15, 2008 12:14 pm wrote:
How To Install A Home Security System In The South
===================================================

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size
14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns
and Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition.
Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked
the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't
think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all
the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside.

"Cooter"

:mrgreen:



hahahaha :twisted:
Author:  Babs [ Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Home Security System In The South
LMAO

Man that beats the heck out of my "Beware of Cat" sign !
Author:  Murray C [ Wed Oct 15, 2008 11:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Home Security System In The South
HAHAHA.... but it will be even funnier when some stupid crook reads this on the doorstep and breaks in anyway..... to find four mad pit-bulls charging!
Author:  jdmeister [ Thu Oct 16, 2008 6:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Home Security System In The South
:mrgreen:
Author:  Isis [ Mon Oct 20, 2008 3:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Home Security System In The South
Hey now!! Us folks here in the south don't need our secrets being given away like that. Now I'm gonna have to come up with something else. Looks like I am going to have to consult the BIG BOOK OF BUBBAS SECURITY RESOURCES....LOL
Author:  lordairgtar [ Mon Oct 20, 2008 7:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Home Security System In The South
Isis, The Rattler story is based on a true event that happened to me while in Texas. Back when I was hitching cross country, I was given a place to crash in the home of people who kept rattlers for venom milking. During a rain storm, some got out of their enclosures and the people woke me up to inform me of same. They said they were looking for a dry place and most likely would not bother me, even if I did see them at all. They handed me a gun and said if I felt in any danger of the snakes to use it. I was awake, sitting on the back of the sofa, all night long. I did not see a single snake.
Author:  Andygurl [ Tue Oct 21, 2008 4:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Home Security System In The South
Wow this is a funny thread... I can't stop laughing, especially bout the part with the snakes getting loose in the house, too freakin' funny :lol: & the notes left at the front door :lol: :lol: I have a killer Cocker Spaniel & I'd hafta say nobody is getting through my front door :lol:
Author:  Isis [ Wed Oct 22, 2008 6:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Home Security System In The South
lordairgtar @ Mon Oct 20, 2008 9:50 pm wrote:
Isis, The Rattler story is based on a true event that happened to me while in Texas. Back when I was hitching cross country, I was given a place to crash in the home of people who kept rattlers for venom milking. During a rain storm, some got out of their enclosures and the people woke me up to inform me of same. They said they were looking for a dry place and most likely would not bother me, even if I did see them at all. They handed me a gun and said if I felt in any danger of the snakes to use it. I was awake, sitting on the back of the sofa, all night long. I did not see a single snake.


Holy smokes!! That is pretty darn funny. I do beleive I would have cut my trip short. don't like snakes at all.....Thank goodness we don't get much more than garter snakes in the burbs where I am.
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