Karaoke Forums

Hi! This is an excerpt from my karaoke novel, "Outro." I thought y'all might get a kick out of it. Channy is the name of the protagonist, who works as a KJ.

Channy’s Karao-Courtesies
(A Karz Publication)

1. Don’t ask the KJ to start the song over. If you miss the first line, just come in on the second. No one will care. Also, if you discover that you have ordered up the wrong song (say, Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On?” when you wanted the 4 Non-Blondes’ “What’s Up?”), you’d better just fake it, because you’re not getting a do-over.

2. Don’t hang out on the back deck until your name’s called. Hey, I’m sure it really is all about you, but could you at least pretend to care about the other singers?

3. Don’t scream into the mic. As you pack your lungs with oxygen for the jungle yell on “Immigrant Song,” back that puppy up a couple inches. You’ll save everyone a lot of pain.

4. Don’t get falling-down drunk. Remember how great you were, singing “Bohemian Rhapsody” after six tequila poppers? Neither does anybody else.

5. Don’t hassle the KJ. It’s hard enough keeping all those raging egos in check without you coming up to (@$%&#!) about the lack of Neil Diamond selections. KJs are the sacred priests of music – treat them accordingly.

6. Do not horn in. Perhaps your backing vocal to “Sex and Candy” really is God’s gift to harmonics, but you pick up that second mic without prior permission and you will die a terrible death. (This is not to discourage a planned harmony jam, which can be a beautiful thing.)

7. Don’t milk the applause. Even if you deserve it – especially if you deserve it – nothing looks cooler than a humble “thanks” and a quick departure. If you are offered a high-five, however, slap away. Also, if you have just performed an Elvis tune, you are required by law to mumble “Thankyouvermuch.”

8. Do not change your song selection within three singers of your turn, unless you’re willing to add substantially to the tip jar.

9. Try to avoid singing a song that has already been performed that evening. If you sing it badly, your effort will look that much worse in comparison. If you sing it well, you will appear to be showing up your predecessor, who will then be entitled to throw a baseball at your head in the following inning.

_________________
See/hear the serial version of Michael's karaoke novel, "Outro," at outronovel.blogspot.com

I especially loved number 4 and 9.

Fantastic, and dead on as well. BTW, trying to get book on order, and looking forward to reading it!

_________________
"No Contests, No Divas, Just A Good Time!"

" Disc based and loving it..."

Cool! Thanks. I guarantee you'll love all the inside k-humor.

_________________
See/hear the serial version of Michael's karaoke novel, "Outro," at outronovel.blogspot.com