As a KJ I frequently find myself the target of the attentions of the ladies during a show. I don't encourge this (too much). Sure, I flirt back in a playful way, but its all in fun. Whether its the cute blond rubbing up againt me to get me to move her up in the rotation (it ain't happening babe), or the middle age drunk chick whose trying live out her Steve Perry fantasy with me (I do a pretty good Journey...
), being a karaoke host can get a little bizzaro world when it comes to dealing with the advances of the intoxicated opposite sex. But hey, its good to be the KJ... 
Last night took the cake though.
There was this group of attractive 30 something chicks up near my table stripper pole dancing with each other to just about every song (this parts not unusual... that happens all the time
).
Anyway, this one chick would "Super whistle" at the end of every song... and not a little bit. An ear shattering, mind piercing whistle. One time she tried to do it into one of the singer's microphone, and I had to grab it away from her (she wasn't happy with me...
).
Finally, as she got more wasted, she become completely obnoxious with it, I had to tell her to knock it off. "Why?" she asked with a pouty face.
"Because its completely frickin' annoying!" I replied
Anyway, that was it. She hated me for the rest of the night... too funny. She got up to leave, but her girls were having too good a time, and didn't want to go. So, the fact that she had to eat a little crow and hang out didn't help much.
So, anyway, at this bar I cut karaoke about 15 min early and play some dance music. This works here, and everybody loves it... The chicks outnumber the guys here almost 2 to 1... and they all get crazy on the dance floor.
Well, the lights come up, and I'm busy packing up when this chick comes up to me.
"I really want to kick your a$$ for calling me obnoxious!" She says to me in a drunken stupor.
"Hey baby, I didn't say YOU were obnoxious... I said what you were doing was obnoxious... don't be a hater!" I replied, "Besides, I'm a lover not a fighter, come on give the koyote a little love." And I held my arms open for a hug.
Now, let me tell you, I was confident that as mad as she was earlier I had a feeling that the good time she had dancing and the mellowing effect of the alcohol that I would be able to get a hug, and try to keep this from turning ugly.
Well, she comes over, smiles and says, "Ya know, I really want to kick your A$$, but your kinda cute, so alright." and gave me a very, umm, intimate hug.
Cool, situation resolved. I say goodnight and start packing up. She still there, and her friend is there, and she says, "My girls got a hot a$$ don't she?" and starts rubbing her friend's butt.
"Um, sure... absolutely", I responded completely amused.
"Whose butt do you like best, mine or hers" She asks, and the two of them turn and stick their butts out at me.
What???
Danger! Will Robinson, Danger!
Trying to be a diplomatic as possible I say, "Both of you have very fine attributes, and I would be hard pressed to choose one over the other."
"We wear each other's clothes all the time," she says.
"Oh really?" I say, trying to figure out where the heck this drunken coversation with crazy chick is going.
"Wanna see?"
"Uh.... "
At this point the two girls, right there in the bar... in front of God and everyone stripped off their jeans and panties and, while laughing and falling over each other, switched pants!!
"Wow ladies, thats great..." I said completely stupified.
At that point, they stumbled laughing out the bar. Gene, the bar owner came over to me... having caught the tail end of that with, "what the H... is going on here!" and "How the H... did you get them to do that?"
"Gene, my friend, I have no idea on both counts."
Well, that is my story. I guess this thread would be a great place to put your wild karaoke bar happenings in as well.
It is good to be the KJ
... in the twilight zone , doo doo doo doo.
......lmao
