Karaoke Forums

[font=Tahoma]I say "DADDY" * because it appears that i have to step in and treat some of you liek Children...

You know who you are...
Really? Is this absolutely Necessary?

Can you PLEASE just grow up?!

There should be NO need for me, any other moderator or administrator to have to intervene...

This is a ridiculous situation that has gone a bit too far.

For those that feel offended by the immaturity of these others - you are being a bit silly yourself...

I really think that we are all able to get along or tolerate each other...

BTW - There are some of you ladies (girls) that like to call me "Daddy" - that is a completely separate issue! [/font]

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Phill Cross
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And I thought I was the only one!

Ok, so, daddy Phil... I know what you're talking about, but I had NO part in it:)

I haven't even subbed in there lately, cause I'm waiting for the nonsense to stop.

(was that kissazz enough?)

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

yeah well I could assume the position I guess

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

I stay out of this type of thing for the most part and I'm not offended, but in the past I have recommended this site to friends and acquaintances at karaoke. If they should join and pay membership, they might be disappointed to read the foolishness. I noticed a few members have left because of it and I wonder what the newest members are thinking.

I'm sorry, I just couldn't help but think, "WHOOOZ yer Daddy??"

Glad I don't hang out in that nonsense anymore!

At a certain point one becomes a sugar grandpa!!!

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I'm a new member, so I will risk getting into trouble to answer your question. I am not stepping into this situation with this post at all (same is if I were invited to someone's house for dinner and an argument erupted, being a new person to the table, I would never interfere), I am just answering your question, Connie. This post is to YOU, it is not any indirect wagging of my finger to anyone else, in my opinion I am too new to have the right.

I never thought a place like this would even have drama, so I have kind of watched from the sidelines, pretty surprised, I stumbled on it by accident (at first amused that a person would use a sub description as a sounding board). I probably should have left it alone, but as a human, the curiosity won me over. What was going on? I don't really know anybody and it took me a while to piece it together (probably time better spent listening to real submissions) and perhaps I'm wrong, because I'm a little confused, but here is where I understand things today.

A group of anonymous lady members made fun of and mocked another member. Evidently this member was not well-liked by some as there were claims that she was full of herself and reacted defensively to a negative critique from a popular member. Offended and hurt by this meanspiritedness, the parodied member left. Somewhere in the mix, another, well-liked member left, evidently because she defended the hurt member and got jumped on (and another left, just sick of all the drama, which I can't blame). Another anonymous member posted to bust out the meanness of making fun of another member and running them off, which was done in a not so diplomatic or grown-up manner and itself was meanspirited, yet it was to bring attention to the maliciousness of the parody and its fallout. That sub was attacked. It then claimed to be an April Fool's joke and now, frankly, I don't even understand what's really what and if it was a joke, it wasn't funny.

In trying to follow things, I also see that some members take interest in tallying comments. I make a list of songs and members I plan to listen to and I enjoy when I do and if I have a comment to make, I leave it. But the truth is it takes like 30 seconds to submit a song and check for comments once in awhile, but it takes more than an hour to listen to everything I want, comment, and reply to my (very much-appreciated) feedback and comments. It is no short task for me to leave comments, because I don't want to comment just for the sake of leaving a comment and just put any ol' thing, it takes time to leave something that I really mean, it's important to me that it is important to you (any member).

It would take far longer than that to do all I want to do, but eventually there is just no more time. I have five jobs, I was thrilled to come to a place to share and listen and be friends because, being in front of the computer for almost all my work, I don't get to go out a lot with friends face-to-face, but I am very uncomfortable constantly now that I do not have the time to give that I am required. I did not realize it would be a commitment. Everyone here puts so much time into their music, they deserve a commitment from others who submit, I certainly do not argue that, it's only fair, I just didn't realize that when I signed up (and it is a far busier site than I expected! Its success is wonderful for KS and karaokers and KJs!). I continue to listen and comment as I can as I want to, but I am always worried now that it is not enough or that I am not being fair enough with the little spare time I have.

I am sensitive and after watching this I am concerned that someday I will say the wrong thing, submit the wrong thing, have the wrong attitude, or get hurt and show it, and I will be the member made fun of and others will enjoy it. I can say that, as a new person who does not know all but just a couple people here, just from looking outside in, I was disturbed that making fun of another member, regardless of the reason, was enjoyed and defended by others. It is my understanding that most members didn't really understand what was going on or that their primary goal was to keep the peace, and in such a big family I really respect that. Yet, what if that parody had been about me? How would I feel? How would I feel that so many family members thought it was awesome and bashed the one person who came to my defense and tsk'ed another who busted out the meanness of such an act, where only the delivery was admonished but the message ignored? What if I don't do something right according to some and that gets me in the doghouse and mean things are said about me? Also, I am thinking if I do not have the proper time to listen and comment enough, that the fair thing is that I should not submit.

So, the short answer to your question, Connie, is that this newbie is very happy now because everyone has been so very, very kind and generous with their visits to my songs and their comments, including you and that is one reason I am taking the time to reply to your post, and I have been able to carve out time to listen and comment thus far, but I am extremely uncomfortable for the day that I misstep or there is a misunderstanding, and constantly worried that I do not give enough and maybe I won't be able to carve out as much time as I would like, and it's kind of stressful for me. I read it mentioned that members can see who visits what and how many times and now I feel like my wanderings can be monitored and judged. Will I get run off when someday someone doesn't approve of the way I spend my time here or I don't fit right?

Which will probably be the second I click "submit" on this post and I'm aware of that.

I am sure not all newbies feel this way and some probably aren't even aware of this situation. This is just what I have gotten from it. Again, just sharing an answer to your question. Hope it sheds some light on what things look like out here looking in, in regard to this event.

I hope all the members reads this!! Thank you so very much for saying what you`ve said!! And welcome!

Linda

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Hej

Nancy-

I haven't been in the showcase lately, so I've not heard any of your music yet. I'll make sure and do that when I make my rounds this weekend:) Welcome to the site. I really hope the stupidity going on in there lately doesn't permanently alter your view of this place.

As an almost 5 year member of this website, it really sickens me that this is what new people have to encounter here. You pretty much summed up what is going on in there to the T.
And it's happened before, and it will happen again. Too much drama gets going after somebody gets tiffed over something small, and you're right... it usually has to do with comment counts and thinking someone else is too full of themselves. And lots of times, wether the involved parties will admit it or not, there is jealousy, though well disguised;)

There was a time... that the showcase was what I think it was intended to be. People gave honest, helpful critique, there wasn't that overabundance of fluff comments, and you didn't see all the drama flying around. You get people trying to get other's rounded to "their side" of the argument, and it literally splits the place in half. Many members do, though, sit back and shake their heads and wish it would all just come to an end. I pretty much stay out of it and stay away until it's all over. I, like others, form my personal opinions of what is happening and why, but I keep those to myself. It's not my argument, and I don't wish to have any part in siding with one or the other in there.

Again, I hope it didn't leave a bad taste in your mouth for the showcase. Usually, it's a cool place to hang out and share music.

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Hi Nancy,

Thank you for your response. It sounds like you know as much as I know about the situation, however I got kind of lost with some of the details because I don't make it a point to read ALL the comments and replies to each person's song. It's obvious that other members have time to do this. Sometimes I'm surprised to read members are leaving and I can't figure out how the situation affected them directly.

I've been on many internet sites such as this one, and I can tell you it's very normal to see this kind of activity. However, this usually goes on in the "forum" areas. I don't think it should have shown up on the Singer's Showcase. There are way too many singers there that are confused at what is going on. They just want to listen to the songs and comment.

You seem concerned with the time spent listening and commenting. Over the past (almost four years) I've been here, I've observed that every one does things differently.. Some post songs daily, some once a month or so, some comment, some don't, some do not listen to anyone else, and some do not thank anyone for their comments. There are others who never sub songs, but they listen and sometimes leave a comment. It does depend on the free time the person has available or just their personal choice on their interactions. I often think about cutting back here on both subs and listening, but I'm very addicted to the site. Recording my singing is a big hobby for me, plus, I've made friends here. I don't have a lot of friends and I work in a very small office, and my husband doesn't care for karaoke much anymore.

Having listened to you subs and read your comment and replies to (our subs and here), I'm sure you will fit in perfectly here, Nancy. Don't be concerned with saying the wrong thing to someone, because with all the vast personalities, it's hard to determine if you will hurt someone's feelings.

If I've missed anyone of your concerns, please let me know.

nicely summed up Nancy there is just two things that you appeared to differ on compared to how it really is...
1. we have never attempted to run someone off. I made the comment, "if you cannot find the door let me draw you a map" not to run someone off but to highlight the fact that the person has a tendancy to pull the same stunt over and over again. Point in fact, she is not gone now actually neither is maria She appears alive and well and running round commenting on selected subs

2. I give newbies all the same welcome and the courtesy of listening to them...if however they dont return the favour (not to me but to people in general) by responding to comments and listening to others, I pass them by. Most will do this, but I tell them why I am doing this. In other words, I am the same as everyone else, I just give them a reason why I am doing it.

We have some tremendous singers here...some are world class talent, but some I would never bother to listen to because I prefer to give my time to others who look upon the showcase the same way I do...which is, they put in as much as they get out. Am I looking for more comments? Nope, if I were looking for more comments I would continue to comment on folks in the hope they did the same. I am simply stating my case and saying sorry dude, but my time is better spent on someone else. Do I only comment on those who comment on me??? hardly!

As to you being scared you will say the wrong thing...why would it be any different in SS than it is in KS...the only difference is here in KS you have more than one right of reply So sub away and the big nasty from down under promises not to bite you

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

1. I said it was my last song post and would be here listening...........??


2. Comments is ALWAYS.......ALWAYS!! freely. If you dont want to comment,dont!


3. Can it be that this site is diffrent becourse of the rudeness that has been going.
Which I get a really bad feeling of? I havent seen that on other sites I`v been joining.

4. "If you cant find the door,let me draw you a map"................??

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Hej

Thank you for the responses to my post and the understanding. Connie, thank you for explaining that people do do things differently on SS and that you think I'll fit in okay.

My concerns about saying something wrong on SS vs KS would stem from that I worry about doing something inadvertantly, such as not satisfying an arbitraty comment count or perhaps, because sometimes words are not read in the same way as they are spoken, a comment might be misconstrued, etc. and then getting punished. Just because I answered Connie's question and was honest in my response about how these occurances made me feel does not mean that the same concern/fear was not there, I just shut my eyes and submitted, knowing I was touching on an obviously inflammatory situation, whereas on SS, I may not. I certainly can appreciate knowing that I may escape some nibbling Everyone makes a mistake or some people may have seemingly off-putting personalities, but to become the butt of very public jokes or a pariah because of such is where the concern lies. Nobody can be 'run off' I don't think (certainly not without more severe treatment) but I can see where someone would not wish to be in a place that is trying to make them uncomfortable.

When the time comes that I cannot give 'enough' time to another family, I will stop submitting. I thought it was all for fun, and it will be for me as I continue to listen however little or lot as I can, but I guess I unexpectedly signed on for more responsiblity if I expect to sub. I guess that was my mistake because I did not understand how it works, not that I don't understand the concept of sharing, but that everybody has a different life and one person's 20 minutes and two listens might be just as valuable as someone else's two hours and 20 listens depending on the demands of their life and time, however, that opinion is obviously not shared by all, and that's okay, I just had to learn that and consider if that means I fit here. Although Connie was so kind in saying that I would fit, I think this means I probably don't, and that's okay, too, we aren't all round pegs and not everyplace is a round hole. It's too bad, though, that there are not more hours in the day.

[b]

~~!!~~@@@~~WELCOME LADY NANCY TO THE 'SS' FAMILY SITE~~@@@~~!!~~

Good evening Lady Nancy, I'm glad you wrote something about what has been happening around these parts. I don't think that none of us needs a 'Daddy' figure...(well then again-Lol) If it comes to that point ever again, well, Lol, not sure what other's might do, but I got a total new outlook on this whole situation this morning. I stayed up all last night into the morning hours. The only reason I did this was because this 'jester' added my name to his/her description and the thing that made me so upset was what I was told by a dear friend of mine and how she was being treated. I knew nothing, because it's been a few weeks that I was on & off again. This time I was off the site .

I came back to listen to a lot of my friends sing. What hurt me the most was I was only trying to make this 'jester' 'STOP' what he/she was doing, so this person out of nowhere decided to attack me, DEE, I don't take any crap from anyone. The majority of the members here know me pretty well by now!~

I wanted to not only WELCOME you to the 'SS' family, but to say I really think you did a great job in writing what you said. I know of other sites as well, each individual has their own opinion, no matter where you want to sing or listen. I personally love it here,been here for years, even though somehow I got caught in the crossfire. I don't like that at all. Most of the time, this place is FUN !!!~ I hope too keep it all in FUN Hun, and I'm glad you came by, introduced yourself ( by answering Lady Connie, which is a real sweetheart) and I think you knew more of the 'story' then I did!!!~ :)

Thanks hun and cannot wait to hear you Now c'on everyone let's enjoy ourselves!!!~It's a 'DEE'-lite meeting you once again [/b]


Love, DEE XO

PS-Lady Connie, I am laughing because you and many other's know how to do the color scheme on here and I don't......Please let me know how to do it, will ya hun? :) Thanks again !~

no responsibility at all Nancy, I am simply stating (and no I didnt make it up as a rule, there is nothing set in stone) that without showing some reciprocation to the courtesy shown in listening to your subs (this goes for anyone not just newbies) then you will see a decline in those willing to listen to you.
Perhaps if I can come up with a real life similarity...you move into a house in a new community. The neighbours from both sides pop in within the first day to say welcome. The next day one pops across with a batch of biscuits fresh from the oven, while the other neighbour brings the mail that has been inadvertantly put in their mail box by mistake.
You take the biscuits and the mail but dont respond with a thank you.

Do you see the similarities? The long standing members of any community (certainly in new zealand) would always knock on a door to welcome a newcomer to the neighbourhood. But if the response to the welcome was less than warm then they wouldnt see the need to keep extending the hand of friendship only to have it brushed aside as if it didnt count.

That is where I am coming from when I chivvy a newcomer for not commenting...that is my take on things, it may not be others, but I am confident in who I am and what I am to stand up and be counted for something I believe in.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

Thank you for the welcome, DEE! You are obviously a doll and I appreciate your posting to me and I sympathize. I don't know names that go with login names, there are so many people I can't even keep track and I haven't even tried except for a very few that I have had a little correspondence with, but for someone to throw your name around like you describe is definitely not cool.

MLF, interesting comparison. Perhaps I am misunderstanding the difference between replying to given comments and leaving comments. I think that if someone brings a person biscuits and receive a thank you that the giver is not expecting biscuits in return. But if a person moves into a biscuit-giving neighborhood, they should know it is expected. Maybe not everyone got a copy of the Homeowner's Association agreement. But no one knows what goes on in that house, as to why she/he is not returning as many biscuits, although was profusely thankful for the received ones. But perhaps if expected reciprocation is too difficult, that new person should not live there.

We may disagree on certain concepts, or perhaps we are not understanding each other, but we can both most decidedly agree that appropriate thanks and appreciation should always be expressed when any act of kindness has been performed.

Hi Nancy,

There's no rules on this site as far as being responsible for listening and commenting on other subs. Sure, it's a nice gesture to comment on one who's commented on your subs, but is there no obligation. However, I feel strongly about replies. When singers do not reply to their comments with at least "thank you", I stop listening to them. It makes me wonder if they even read their comments.

The "listen only" option can be use when entering your song information. I use this when I know ahead of time I'm going to be away for a while, like on vacation, or when I'm sick, but I have a recording ready. That way, if I'm sick I can still listen if I'm up to it, but don't make any comments that day. It's also a good option for those who sub only occasionally or for those singers who receive many comments and don't have the time to reply to each person. Just an option for you, rather than completely stop submitting. I'll hope you consider that, because I would listen to ya!

Connie, I agree with this. I guess I haven't been around long enough to actually keep track of who is or is not responding to my comments, although I do read and enjoy the replies I see, I can't tell you who has not and that I don't listen to them anymore. But I can see where, if you've been here a long time and are familiar with those who don't give appropriate thanks, that you would rather spend your time at other profiles. I had spoken about listens/comments, not replies.

cheers nancy we can certainly agree to disagree...btw I am not a baker

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

YAY, me, neither! I'm use the stove top and the oven for casseroles, but regular baking does not like me and I'm cool with that.