Karaoke Forums

WHY KARAOKE IS BETTER THAN SEX

- With Karaoke, you're always sure you can find someone worse than you are.

- You don't feel obligated to buy someone dinner for singing Karaoke with you.

- When you sing Karaoke, it's OK to have multiple partners.

- It's OK to sing Karaoke with your sister.

- With Karaoke, you never have to be sorry about forgetting your lines.

- It's OK to drink too much and sing Karaoke.

- With Karaoke, no one will complain about the size of your microphone.

- It's OK to sing Karaoke in front of your neighbors.

- You'll never feel uncomfortable knowing your parents still sing Karaoke.

- No one complains about a 3-minute Karaoke performance.

You May Be A Karaoke Junkie If…

1. If you've had Karaoke KJ's call you at home to come help start a new show. And call back because you aren't there yet.

2. If the Karaoke host has called your name accidentally because YOU always sing the song they just loaded.

3. If you get upset because some newcomer has picked the song YOU always sing.

4. You clap when a song finishes on the radio.

5. Strangers walk up to you in Wal-Mart and compliment you on your singing.

6. People you don't know ask, "Aren't you a karaoke singer?"

7. You get ticked when you are skipped in the rotation.

8. Songs on the radio don't sound right because _____or _____ isn't singing them.

9. You hear a song on the radio and think, that's number 7503-10.

10. You don't wear "the hat" and nobody knows you.

11. You find yourself engrossed in the philosophical ramifications of "American Pie."

12. You go to a concert and wonder when they're gonna call you up to sing.

13. You go to a concert and all the time you're thinking "I could do that."

14. You write lists like this on the back of karaoke slips.

15. Last call comes and you say, "But I've got another song yet to sing!"

16. You have laryngitis and you still try to sing.

17. You know you've got to get up at 6:30 am and you still close the bar down.

18. There's 12 inches of snow on the ground and ice on the roads and where are you? THE KARAOKE BAR!

19. Someone asks you if you have a slip, and they're not talking about underwear!

20. You remember the number of over two songs by memory.

21. You know everybody's first name but not their last name.

22. You know the location of every late night restaurant within five miles of the bar.

23. You know the location of every karaoke bar within 50 miles of your house.

24. When you're not at the karaoke bar by 10:30 people call your house to find out what's wrong.

25. You would never consider dating someone with a bad voice.

26. Anything brighter than neon lights hurts your eyes.

27. Someone suggests going dancing instead and you're appalled.

28. Your stock reply is, "You mean there's a bowling alley here?"

29. That comedian on TV that makes fun of karaoke really makes you mad.

30. You see karaoke on TV and you think, "That's not the way it's done!"

31. You actually know that karaoke means "empty orchestra."

32. It feels weird to go to a new karaoke bar and not sit at the "regulars" table.

33. You get upset when someone else is sitting in your place.

34. You hate it when someone sings your song.

35. The songs, "Love Shack", "Friends In Low Places" and "American Pie" really annoy you (unless of course YOU want to sing them).

36. Someone refers to "the longest song in the book" and you know what they're talking about.

37. The word "rotation" no longer conjures up thoughts of tires or sex.

38. You've ever browsed the net under the heading "Karaoke."

39. You've ever called a wrecker to take you and your car to Karaoke.

40. A new person who sings well is automatically your friend.

41. Your new best friend is somebody who does the same type songs as you.

42. You can't name five presidents, BUT you know all the members of Kiss and the Eagles.

43. You know the entire intro to "Baby's Got Back."

44. You think, "What's this creep going to sing?" And you're determined to sing them under the table.

45. You've picked karaoke songs to be sung at your funeral. (Your spouse says this ain't happening!)

46. You wonder what ever happened to what's his name, you know he sang _____.

47. You've ever received an emergency call at the bar.

48. You think you sound better than the original.

49. You can still sit still after listening to "Love Shack" 5,000 times.

50. Someone suggests an after party and you ask, "Do you have a karaoke machine?"

51. You can't remember the words to a song you've heard all your life without "the screen."

52. You and three other people have sung "Friends In Low Places" after the karaoke has closed down.

53. The first thing you think when you hear a new song on the radio is, "When is this coming out on karaoke?"

54. You call the karaoke store and hound them about a disk.

55. You try to learn 14 songs you don't really like.

56. You consider beer a lubricant for your vocal chords.

57. It takes you 15 minutes to hug everybody goodbye.

58. You feel cheated if they don't get karaoke started right on time.

59. The term kamikaze has nothing to do with Japan or planes.

60. Your house guests get to your house one-and-a-half hours before you do.

61. You're a woman but you're still willing to sing the guys part.

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