Karaoke Forums

I have an older bar regular (lady) who sits at the video poker machine all night. When it is getting later and wilder 11 or 12pm, people request video/songs in between singers. She gets really uptight and gives me and the patrons dirty looks when I play for example: Billy Idol's Mony Mony. You know how the crowd responds. If I play "don't trust a ho" or "me so horny" you would think I needed to repent at church on Sunday! I try to please the majority of the room and these songs/videos keep people spending. Should I suggest earmuffs? She would also need blinders (like a horse) to keep her from looking at the videos on my big screen. I think she gets off on this. She drinks, smokes, and gambles all night....talk about the wrong one to judge! What should I do? She's hard to ignore. Sometimes she comes up and yells at me. The bar owner is happy. I'm bringing in $$ they haven't seen in a long time. HELP! What should I do?
Mrs. BonJovi

If she is threatening you, i would have the bar owner keep her away from me. Is there a bouncer?

You have a problem because those gamblers drop a lot of money playing all night long.

She has a drinking problem, a smoking problem, a gambling problem and she's a hypocrite. The bar owners lover her.

Angel, you must have worked for some nasty owners, but not all of them are like that.

Bon Jovi, to help you out a little, I do agree that you should speak with the bar owner about the abuse you are receiving from this customer. I don't care how much she drops in the gambling machines in one night, I seriously doubt that her money alone could keep the bar in business, so you have a leg to stand on. You are bringing other patrons into the bar and making them lots of money they wouldn't make otherwise. I've got a situation right now where some of the regulars have been harrassing me, and my bar owners are supporting me and have said they will not tolerate the behavior. So it's not always about the customer. My bar owner even agreed that sometimes a customer is not worth keeping when they cause too many issues that drive away other business.

So don't stop doing what you know is making most of the crowd happy. Bottom line is, no one has a right to come up to you and start yelling at you or make you feel uncomfortable. Do what I've been doing lately....try your hardest to ignore her. As a human with emotions and feelings, this can be the hardest thing to do. First, it makes you so angry you could smack them right between the nose. In the end, I usually hold it together at the bar, then go home and cry about it. Lately, for me, it's been people I really care about and don't understand why I am receiving this kind of treatment from them. It can be so hard. What I do, and maybe this will help you too, is when they come up yelling and cussing in my face, I don't address them with any suggestions or anything. I'm not feeding the fire, which might be making it worse. I don't know. But, at any rate, I have to look around and draw strength from others in the bar that are happy because I'm there. YOu should do the same. For that one woman who is scowling and complaining, there are 20 others who are smiling and having a great time. When she starts, look and listen not to her, but to the 20 others. It will work out in the end.

You finally reach a point, no matter how much you don't want to, that you need to involve the owner. Unlike what some believe, all bar owners are not scumbags themselves who only care about people with drinking, smoking, and gambling problems. It may be very successful for you. If you speak to the bar owner, and they support the customer, then you have to try to deal with it on your own, or question whether or not you want to work there. At any venue, if you don't have the support of the owner, it can be really hard to stay there.

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It's called Karaoke Therapy...

I was at karaoke last night in a Hotel's Bar. Singer is in the middle of his song and drops an "F" Bomb. DJ immediately stopped the song and took the microphone from the singer. DJ makes an announcement that profanity is not allowed and the show went on. Amazing how people used to be able to go out and dance and party without having to do so with profanity being blasted through a sound system. Certain songs make some people uncomfortable. Are there only 4 or 5 songs in the world that are any good to dance to? Are only the dirty songs fun to play? There's a time and place for everything and anything. It's up to the owner to decide what is acceptable at your show

Abuse of anyone, never mind a karaoke host is NEVER "up to the owner to decide" if it's OK.
It's simply not OK. EVER. From anyone.
Speak to the owner and have them take care of it. If they won't, I would look for another gig, because then that would only be the start.

I say, either ignore her, if possible, hopefully she will just go away, or try to kill her with kindness. Maybe go up to her before you actually are going to play these so called "offensive" songs and forewarn her that they are coming up soon. Maybe she will appreciate that a bit and just do a potty break or something. Try to make her understand, you are not the one choosing these songs, the singers/dancers are. You are only doing your job as host. But try to make her feel important too, by giving her the choice of whether to stay and have to endure another "baby got back",or just take a 4 minute break. Whatever you decide, make the owners aware of what is going on, and let them know you are trying to make everyone happy. Good luck

its simple to me....unplug ur video poker game tell her its broke...when she lays her cig. down walk by and take um....l....kkk kinda sorta justa thought

I wouldn't worry too much about the gambling drunk chimney. Just ignore her, those machines are only legal in certain venues like Casinos in Vegas and Atlantic City and Indian gaming Facilities. most states made them illegal. So she shouldn't be lecturing you on morality or legality.

I think the (old) lady is probably harmless. HER entertainment is pushing those buttons, and watching the wheels spin. I also think that what is irritating her is the volume, and the sheer ENERGY in the place, it's interfering with her concentration. I think that, because you said that it usually starts later in the night, (which is when the energy picks up), and that's when she gets irritated. Also, she's probably irritated about NOT WINNING YET, she's waiting for the machine to pay-off. I'd venture to say, that if you were LUCKY enough to be there when she HIT on the machine, she wouldn't be so ornary. Like you said, she's a BAR REGULAR, picture it, old lady, irritated with machine, young people having FUN, not HER style of music being played, young people PROBABLY (dirty dancing), not her type of FUN. I say "give the old broad a break", she'll get over it. I'm sure you've run into alot worse in your life, and if not, I'm sure you will at some point. Next time she approaches you, just smile at her and ask has she HIT THE BIG ONE YET.

Srnitynow

Whether the poker machine is legal or not, if the bar owner is paying out on it when someone hits they get money. I know of places that take in thousands of dollars a month. Many customers are dropping $2-3-4-500 or more a week.

Don't for one minute think the bar owner doesn't love her for that. Plus she's drinking too. More bar owner profits. She could be spending as much or more than several tables full of people. Will he throw out several tables full of people and their money? She may be more permanent than you.


If she gets violent make the bar owner ban her on your night. If he won't you need to make a decision about whether you feel it's worth staying there.

I a agree with MrScott in regard to KILLING HER WITH KINDNESS. You could start by approaching her, introducing yourself and suggesting you know she's a regular and asking if there are any songs/videos that she would like to hear/see?

Me too

I always try the nice approach first. Try to make friends out of your enemies. If that doesn't work ignore her unless she is approaching you in a hostle manner. Then I'd tell the management.


I have an older gentlemen that sits at the end of the bar 24/7. People joke the bar is his living room. When I first started at this venue he'd give me dirty looks because he didn't like the loud music and would yell at me to turn it down.

I'd act as if I cared what he thought. And then pretend to turn it down. When I came in I'd always say hi and ask him how he's doing etc... After time he's become very welcoming. In fact he is one of my biggest fans. He tells people that come in during the day to come back for karaoke. Being he's there all the time he even watches my equipment for me. If anyone goes on the stage he yells at them. I even give him a ride home at night because he only lives a couple blocks away and his health is bad.

He used to be the biggest pain in my butt and now I actually adore him.

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Forget the kindness just kill her. JOKING.

If she is the type of person that gets MEAN drunk, kindness isn't what she's all about. She wants to have things her way.

Again if she's dropping lots of cash, she rules. No bar owner is going to kick a big spender to the curb. UNLESS she gets violent. OR SHE STARTS CHASING PEOPLE AWAY.

That is your answer. Can you get others to complain about her to the owner. Like saying they won't keep coming back if she's here? That will be the only thing the bar owner might listen to.

On a personal note i wouldn't have anything to do with her. I would totally ignore her. She's not my problem or my job.

That's true, Babs. There is a man that has been coming in my show for a couple of years now. He also has a karaoke gig somewhere near here, and I had heard that it wasn't that great. Bad selection, bad sound...yadayada. I have never been, however. But I was shocked when he started coming in to sing at my show, but was constantly insulting other singers, insulting my sound, anything he could find. I thought he hated me, and I certainly didn't care much for his "I'm better than you" persona. Couldn't figure out for the life of me why he kept coming in if he thought it was so bad. One night his wife started telling me how much they adored me and that my show was the best they had ever been to...she said he raved about my singing to people all the time, he thought I was the best singer he'd ever heard, etc.etc. I probably should have picked my jaw up off the floor. I told her I couldn't believe it, because I had thought all this time that he hated me and my show, the way he was constantly insulting me. She started laughing and said that he was just wierd like that. I guess she talked to him, because every time I see him now he tells me how much he loves me and enjoys my karaoke show. And like you, I do adore him, even with all his quirkiness.

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It's called Karaoke Therapy...

I strongly agree with srnitynow.
Her entertainment is the money machine.
The more she looses the worse you are.

You cant win.
Trying to may disshearten you.

Give her a doller to put on for you.
If it wins she may trash your system...

Neat stories Babs and missbipbip. I think some people have a talent of converting potential enemies into genuine friends. I have a sister that is like that.

It's always better to turn them into allies than continue dealing with them as enemies. I believe that you can usually find some sort of bonding factor with ALMOST anyone. You may have to search harder for some though.

_________________
It's called Karaoke Therapy...

You all seem to forget that she is not there for the karaoke. She is not a singer or a listener. She has her own agenda and you are interferring with it. She could be blaming the karaoke singers for her not winning. She could be blaming the host for having the karaoke that has the singers that make her lose.

Forget about her unless she gets creepy with you. IGNORE her. Tell the bar owner he better keep an eye on her and make sure she keeps her distance and everything will be OK. If not there will be a problem. It's his responsibilty not yours.

What if she wants see you after the show in the parking lot for some stupid reason like you cost her money. You could be playing with fire.

Did you just see the news about a 70 year old lady the police shot & killed because she was stalking her ex. She was hiding in his yard, dressed all in black and had a gun.

You have no idea what she has in her head. Could be gobblins telling her to kill you because you made her lose money.

I can see you will do what you want but if it was me somebody else would be minding her store.

Yeah, "That's The Ticket", let's call in the SWAT team to surround the bar. Tell them that there's a CRAZED OLD WOMAN in the bar that is playing the video poker machine, and shooting daggers from her eyes. When they arrive, everyone could run out, and leave her in the bar,(still pulling the handles) and the SWAT team could rush the place and shoot her to death. Then she wouldn't BOTHER anyone anymore.
I know the OP was looking for a solution to her problem, but I don't think she was thinking the woman was actually a REAL threat to her safety. An annoyance, yes, a THREAT, I don't think so. My 2 cents.

Srnitynow

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that post was totally insane. I mean Please!!!