Karaoke Forums

Okay I'm freaking out today because I had a patron follow me home last night. Everything turned out fine, but I'm still creeped out !

I never saw him following me. I dropped off one of my long time regs at home after work and didn't realize he was behind me until I pulled into my drive and got out of my car. Thank goodness my fiancee was just getting home from work also. There was a very uncomfortable conversation and he left. I usually pull my car into the garage, but my daughter's car was in there. He said he wanted to come in for a drink. I don't even drink.

I really feel safe at work now and let my guard down. I would have never expected this from this individual. Beware guys, you never know who's a nutcase. This is just haunting me.

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[shadow=pink][glow=deepskyblue]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

That sounds very scarey. Maybe you will need an escort and back-up for a while. Who knows what would have happened if your fiance hadn't been there? That is not something a "normal" person would have dared do.

I would notify the police as soon as possible. This person now knows where you live. The police should pay him a visit to let him know that they are aware of his actions and that you were not pleased one bit about being followed home. This will let this man know that he will be suspect number one if anything happens in the future. you can never be too careful.

I'm going to call the owner today and let him know what happened. He is actually a friend of the owners. Now I've known this guy and his WIFE for probably about 10 yrs or so. I only know him as a singer though, not really a friend. I'm considering calling the police, but would like to get the owners view on this first. This is not the type of person you'd ever expect to do something like this.

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[shadow=pink][glow=deepskyblue]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

This is going to make it very difficult. I think he should be barred from your shows, but obviously this is going to make a difference.


I know you'll make a good decision, but consider telling him not to come back to the show or you will consider the nuclear option -- telling his wife.

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[color=#ffff55]Mickey J.[/color]
Alas for those who never sing, but die with all their music in them.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

When he left I told him to say hello to his wife for me. I was so in shock by the whole thing. I honestly didn't know how to handle it at the time. I made it clear though he scared me and it wasn't cool to follow me home. He did apologize and said he was having a bad day and just wanted to have a drink with me.

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[shadow=pink][glow=deepskyblue]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

Only after you agreed to "help" (though I don't know why you would), and only if you selected where and when it should take place.... only then could he have the "pity party" he seemingly was seeking.

Personally, I don't buy his explanation and would set up STRICT boundaries with this guy. Don't even go out of your way for him as a singer/customer. Be aloof!

While you must inform the owner, you can't rely on his point of view! He may try to protect his customer/friend before giving ANY consideration to your safety!

Get on this quickly and consider that you might need a restraining order in order to make you position perfectly clear

Babs, normal people do not do this, trust me. He for whatever reason has fixated on you. Usually these types are harmless, however I would not put my trust in this. I strongly advise you to inform the bar owner and staff, his wife, and the police. If you have an attorney, see him or her for both a cease and desist letter and/or a restraining order. I'm not trying to scare you, but you have to protect yourself.

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You can be strange but not a stranger

Get his liscence number, report him to police and follow instructions TIMBERLEA gives u as he was in Law Enforcement for some time.

In addition I'd tell the bar owner/security to 86 this guy as you certainly dont want to have him LEERING at you all night long during the show making u uncomfortable or have to even speak with him up close.


U may also want to have your Fiancee meet u at the bar at closing time and ESCORT you home. That may be inconvinient for u but would possibly afford you some peace of mind.

If you see him hanging around your place or the bar outside or following you, dont hesitate to call police or just drive straight to the nearest police station yourself if he follows u.

Take PRECAUTIONS!!

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"You know that I sing the Blues and I do not suffer fools. When I'm on that silver mic, it's gonna cut ya, just like a knife"-The SWINGCAT

I agree with everyone else. Shut this guy down quick, and show no mercy. His actions were NOT that of a normal person. I wouldn't stop at telling the owner - tell his wife, and notify the police. If you decide not to press charges, make it very clear to all that the NEXT time he WILL go to jail.

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Dave's not here.

Babs:
Timberlea is right. normal people do not behave this way. Even if he has problems, it is not normal to follow someone home uninvited. Do you feel sorry for him? If you do, don't let it cloud your good judgement. You already know it's a major issue because you posted here. Your safety comes before someone else's hurt feelings.
As a woman who has been in this situation before, you MUST call the police, like everyone else says. DO NOT rely on the owner of the business. I handled it that way once and it was a disaster! The owner apparently did not make it very clear (he was pussy-footing around because he was afraid to lose his customer) and the guy escalated his behavior. The next time it happened (someone else) I bypassed the owner altogether and immediately called the police. The outcome was much better and the creep left me alone after that. You must move SWIFTLY and DECISIVELY to make it EXTREMELY CLEAR to him that what he did was WAY out of line! DEFINITELY tell his wife! She needs to know. You may want to have him barred from your shows. I know I would. If the bar owner makes it come to a choice between the gig or the guy, the gig would go without hesitation. Your safety is paramount. Good luck and please let us know how it goes.

No excuse for that.....very very scary.....always check for someone following you at night, and you really shouldn't be comming home by yourself, that time of night....quit kidding yourself, it's a dangerous habit that you, and many females have grown to feel, you're a big girl, and you can handle it........Take this very seriously, and quit being so understanding about very bad behavior
.......plus I'll never do it again.......

Very, very true Babs.

Don't let the fact that you or the owner "know him" make you be less on guard about it. For one thing, he can very well be one of the nicest guys on the planet... until you add alcohol. Men and booze can sometimes be a bit of a dangerous combo where women are concerned.

How scary. That's the main reason I would never, ever, go to a bar (nor leave the bar) without atleast a girlfriend or two.

Please be careful, and definately confront him next time you see him sober and let him know that it wasn't something you'd encourage he ever do again.

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Coming home alone may be a "bad habit" but it is a necessity for many of us. We have to make our way in the world like anyone else.

Babs, you've already gotten lots of great advice on how to handle this, so I'm just writing to express my sympathy that you had to go through such a terrible experience. I'm glad your finance' was there when the creep followed you.

That is NOT normal behavior.... I agree with everyone else here and what they advised you to do.

To say his behavior is inappropriate is to understate the issue. That's twilight zone behavior. Follow the advice on the board Babs. Good luck.

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Good music, good friends, howling good times!

Thanks guys ! I really needed the input. I wanted to make sure I wasn't over reacting because of what has happened to me in the past.

I can't explain the fear it's made me feel. My home is my safe place and now I'm jumpy at home alone. Don't worry my guard is up highly now. This has truly effected me, mostly because someone that seems so normal could do this. He has never given me any indication he was capable of such a thing.

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[shadow=pink][glow=deepskyblue]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

Unless the person did something actually criminal the police can't really help. While it may help to get them involved to scare off the person, it could also hurt by humiliating the person and prompt him to think of revenge. While scary I doubt following someone home is sufficient to get a restraining order unless they did something in addition. Even so, odds are the police probably will not be around even if an order was in place.

At the least I would mention it to the bar owner and get the person banned from your shows and the venue. That may be the best option and result in the least embarassment for everyone involved if it can be done descretely.

You are probably dealing with an unstable person, and public humiliation involving the police or a public banning from the bar may push him over the edge.

That may be true at this point, but they CAN have a "chat" with the guy.
Also, It's a good idea to call the police and, at the very least, document this behavior. If it happens again in the future, there will be a record of past behavior that they can use too obtain a restraining order, if need be, or to do whatever they deem appropriate.
DEFINITELY call and report it.