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Crystal
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 Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 8:49 am |
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Location: BC, Canada
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If I hear a strange noise in the night.... I get my as$ outta bed and shut the dayum window.... why would I need to reach for someone?
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Steven Kaplan
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 9:16 am |
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Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 6:48 pm
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Quote: Somehow, I just can't see a woman reaching past me for her cucumber when she hears a strange noise in the middle of the night.
Usually that strange noise in the middle of the night is me snorting and snoring. I'd wake up with bruises on my back from where I got smacked to wake me up and tell me to sleep on the couch.
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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".
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mroctober
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 9:43 am |
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Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2005 1:52 pm
Posts: 680
Location: Gainesville Florida
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I hear something I reach for my Big Stick ......... adjust it .....then reach for my gun 
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Steven Kaplan
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 10:06 am |
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Michael, Did they ever amend Floridas shoot first, ask questions later laws ?
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Northeast United States runner up for the "Singing Hall of Shame".
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Sinnamon
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 12:11 pm |
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Keith02 @ Wed Aug 30, 2006 11:45 am wrote: Crystal @ Wed Aug 30, 2006 10:38 am wrote: riiiiiiiiight, Keith...... cuz every woman needs a man to protect her.  Somehow, I just can't see a woman reaching past me for her cucumber when she hears a strange noise in the middle of the night. But it would be nice it they did that....I'd get more sleep. Duh Keith...it's not that we are afraid or can't handle it ourselves...we are just too lazy to get up to go see if we don't have to... LOL _________________ [glow=violet] **Sing like nobody's listening...live like there's no tomorrow**[/glow]
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knightshow
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 12:12 pm |
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Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2002 2:40 am
Posts: 7468
Location: Kansas City, MO
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Crystal @ Wed Aug 30, 2006 10:38 am wrote: riiiiiiiiight, Keith...... cuz every woman needs a man to protect her. Crystal, just accept that you happen to be talking to our resident male chauvanist pig...
that's why nobody is taking his comments seriously about that stuff.
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Melly
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 12:18 pm |
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Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 12:37 am
Posts: 1376
Location: COLORADO
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mroctober @ Wed Aug 30, 2006 10:43 am wrote: I hear something I reach for my Big Stick ......... adjust it .....then reach for my gun _________________  
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Lonman
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 12:19 pm |
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Joined: Mon Dec 10, 2001 3:57 pm
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MorganLeFey @ Tue Aug 29, 2006 9:54 pm wrote: [highlight=white]CUCUMBERS ARE BETTER THAN MEN BECAUSE[/highlight]...
Yeah but change that cucumber to a pickle & see what happens! _________________ LIKE Lonman on Facebook - Lonman Productions Karaoke & my main site via my profile!
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Melly
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 12:21 pm |
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Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 12:37 am
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Location: COLORADO
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Guest
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 1:38 pm |
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Heck, I wake up my wife.....she clicks on the vibrating/pulsating.....and might I say thrusting........half rabbit, half cucumber toy I bought her for Christmas......and it runs the intruder right out of the house.....and on occasion, has actually made contact with a burgler.......let's just say, he'll never dance cheek to cheek with anybody ever again...........hey, I'm not making this up...... 
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mroctober
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 1:46 pm |
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Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2005 1:52 pm
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Location: Gainesville Florida
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Quote: Posted: Today at 2:06 pm Re: I am  ing here! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Michael, Did they ever amend Floridas shoot first, ask questions later laws ? As Far as I Know I can Shoot an intruder...
I don't know about asking questions later..
What good would that do? with 9 Bullets in him Or Her what are they gonna say? besides gurgle Blood.
"Stay out of my House next time" is all they will hear Before # ten puts them out.
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Sinnamon
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 2:33 pm |
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The World's Shortest Fairy Tale…
Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy, "Will you marry me?" The guy said "No" and the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, stayed skinny, and was never farted on.
The end
_________________ [glow=violet] **Sing like nobody's listening...live like there's no tomorrow**[/glow]
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Lonman
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 2:47 pm |
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Joined: Mon Dec 10, 2001 3:57 pm
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Melly @ Wed Aug 30, 2006 12:21 pm wrote: OMG! stop it...i barely get to stop and now you start lonman...
I have one word....GERKIN!... 
Sweet Gerkins! _________________ LIKE Lonman on Facebook - Lonman Productions Karaoke & my main site via my profile!
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Keith02
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 3:31 pm |
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Sinnamon @ Wed Aug 30, 2006 4:33 pm wrote: The World's Shortest Fairy Tale…
Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy, "Will you marry me?" The guy said "No" and the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, stayed skinny, and was never farted on.
The end Remember when old maids would attend quilt making parties?....now it's a 'gerkin-jerkin'!
But the old guys still go fishing with their buddies.
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Melly
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 5:11 pm |
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Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 12:37 am
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MorganLeFey
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 5:27 pm |
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Location: New Zealand
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A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to
go to the girl's place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again.
The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised, says "Yes....how did you figure that out?"
"Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love.
After they are done, the girl says, "You must be a good dentist."
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, how did you
figure that out?"
"Didn't feel a thing."
_________________ "Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."
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Sinnamon
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 6:03 pm |
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Location: Ohio, USA
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MorganLeFey @ Wed Aug 30, 2006 8:27 pm wrote:
"Didn't feel a thing."
*snort*
hehehehehehe LMAO _________________ [glow=violet] **Sing like nobody's listening...live like there's no tomorrow**[/glow]
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Crystal
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 8:34 pm |
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| Extreme Poster |
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Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2004 8:45 pm
Posts: 3103
Location: BC, Canada
Been Liked: 2 times
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knightshow @ Wed Aug 30, 2006 1:12 pm wrote: Crystal @ Wed Aug 30, 2006 10:38 am wrote: riiiiiiiiight, Keith...... cuz every woman needs a man to protect her. Crystal, just accept that you happen to be talking to our resident male chauvanist pig... that's why nobody is taking his comments seriously about that stuff. oh good, I thought it was just me _________________
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mroctober
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Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 2:52 am |
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Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2005 1:52 pm
Posts: 680
Location: Gainesville Florida
Been Liked: 2 times
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