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PostPosted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 11:56 am 
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For Singer Critiquing only.


This thread for critique and discussion related directly to requests made for critiques ONLY..  Not Critique theory.  Please take discussions and wishes for KS evolution regarding Critiquing to the already established critique process "discussion" thread that will supplement this thread.  Again this thread has been formed solely for "CRITIQUE requests, and DIRECT critiquing dialogue in response to requested Critiques in here only please.

1)  Request Critique
2)  Critique
3)  Critique dialogue.  Responses and questions directly related to performer asking
     for the critique.


 (it's come to my attention that tangents on the other thread have made it tough to
  follow.  Lets reserve this only for requests for, and those giving VERY specific song
  Critiques)

This will be a moderated thread and the goal is singers helping other singers to improve

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 4:03 pm 
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Let's follow this Guideline when possible:

Those requesting the critiques please let the listener know the following:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SINGER:

SONG TITLE:

ORIGINAL ARTIST:

I AM ESPECIALLY CONCERNED WITH:
(Advantage to this is it enables the listener to hone in on specifics, since most
singers have a general concept of their areas of difficulty. Please also let the
listener know if whether or not you are trying to nail a "cover" rendition of the song,
as opposed to making a song "your own".)


LINK TO MY SONG:
(paste the URL below)

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 9:14 am 
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Steven Kaplan- Beginning singer-  Goal- Become the best singer I can become

Song- A little help from my friends

Original Artist- Beatles, rendition attempt Beatles

I am especially concerned with-

I am new with all aspects of singing, VERY new with recording. I decided to experiment hooking a guitar fx processor up to my microphone into my TEAC
4 track mixer.  Experimental Beatles Psychedelic era was all I was going for


Link

http://www.ksolo.com/actions/showSongPr ... uid=391398

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:57 am 
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hi my yankee buddy, i just listened....now don't take this the wrong way but....TURNNNN UR MIC UP.....loll...u got lost in the mix...i still couldn't tell anything about ur  voice it was covered up with effects....but i think u planned that....haVEING SAID THAT I THINK THAT IS A GOOD SONG FOR YOU...oops caps...I'll still say u have a very good tone to ur voice....now if i could only hear it....i say re=record this song lose the effects on ur vocals and raise ur vocal volume....i no its tuff but in order to help we have to hear you....hope this helps...betting it didn't....loll...tc


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 12:13 pm 
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Thank You Billy.  I'll lose the fx for now.  I'm just doing more of my "cover up" hide act with them.  It's true.  Thank you.  I'll focus more on MY VOCAL quality and not trying to mask it. The reality is, the TOUGHEST part of my learning to sing, is feeling my raw voice is exposed.  For some reason it's tough, yet I also know it's a necessary thing.  Thanks again !

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 1:15 pm 
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Steve Kaplan-  Learning how to sing- Beginner

Song- If I fell

Orginal Artist- Beatles- rendition Beatles

Only concerned with attempting to sing a melodic line that has complex harmony parts overlapping.  Anybody know of any secrets when trying to handle this type song ?  It was a toughie.  Second take.  

http://www.ksolo.com/actions/showSongPr ... uid=391398

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 1:30 pm 
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kappy it says no such song exists

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 4:34 pm 
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Steven Kaplan-  Can't sing so I've decided to cover the Beatles

Song-  Strawberry Fields

Artists-  Beatles-  Rendition- Cover (well sort've)

What I was going for...

God only knows.... Does this work ?


http://www.ksolo.com/actions/showSongPr ... uid=391398

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 5:20 pm 
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hi, i listened to if i fell, i'm not sure what u r the songs doing....seems to me the guys doing the lead leaving u harmony, which u were doing a pretty good job of...u were singing out more, maybe u felt u were hiding behind him i don't know.....but i will say that was much better to me then anything i heard so far......keep it up....well u know what i mean....

again if harmony wasd what u were going for u got it


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 5:28 pm 
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Thanks Billy.   This particular rendition swapped lead with harmony.  The higher voicing is the lead.. So I felt better hiding.  I need to fine-tune the ear-stuff still, I was extremely tentative and still holding back on this (fear of goofing up) and my pitch was particular poor here, I hit notes both sharp and flat, however this was a pretty fast moving song where just about every note consisted of a different harmony interval so for now I'm satisfied with my "attempt". but this is actually a tricky song (I think)..  

I think they sort've goofed this karaoke arrangement up... They have the main vocals singing the beginning melody part, "If I feel in love with you would you promise to be true, and help me understand",  however when the second vocal comes in, THAT particular vocal resumes the actual lead and leaves the karaoke singer doing this particular Karaoke renditions lower harmony.. I felt more comfortable as a result of that as you stated, and noticed.. This needs work, I did it as a challenge, or a means of just breaking up the intensity of trying so hard to focus on voice timbre, and as a distraction, or "puzzle" to break up the monotony.. but, I feel more comfortable singing ballad harmony parts.  This was a tricky arrangement for me,  but I figured I'd try it for the challenge of it, and just tried to memorize harmony pattern,  meaning "he moves up here, and down there'... the rest feel sort've into place..  Just followed harmony flow, and linear movement.

I suppose what I'm saying is if something is "Passable" or even a "C" grade at this point, I'll glady accept it.. I'm in no position to 'beat myself up' for not polishing, and perfecting style and singing at this point in my learning.. It'd destroy me... I think I already have the tendency to beat myself up anyway..

Thanks !  As always appreciate the honesty,  I suppose personally I currently "Accept this" submission (if I really attempt to listen realistically). I consider it somewhere around around low average which is acceptable to me currently.. Low average is going to have to be fine for awhile.. I suppose..

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 12:48 pm 
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Kappy I have an assignment for you listen to conway twitty for awhile.. There were hardly any single words on perfect pitch yet he had a style and well modulated voice he didnt need perfect pitch.Each note blends into the next BTW his are some of the hardest songs to sing. Listen to It's Only Make Believe and try to sing along and increase the pitch in the small increments that he did It's not easy but it still is not pitch accuracy It is modulation and transition in time with from one pitch to the next. It is a mixture of low middle and head singing (from the belly to a point above head) in fast modulo with the tempo.

Dont try to emulate, find your style I think beat and timing of words are more important than key or pitch. I know singers who are hard of hearing or partially tone deaf but when they sing their songs from the heart and with emotion they are awesome.....

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:48 pm 
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Thank you Ollie !

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 2:26 pm 
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Singer:   Go ahead guess

Title:  Easy

Artist:  Commodores,   Style,  mid-way belting, throttle opens about 50%


Dynamics were a LITTLE more than usual, focus was projection to get some resonance out've my normally hollow empty voice...Scale of soft being 1-10 (real belting),  I was half-throttle,  or 5... Falsetto held back somewhat, that too can be much stronger for "edge" but I was focusing on real range projection

Thanks to all that are willing to expose themselves to this attempt..

ALL brutal honesty, and critiquing welcome... (as long as it's about the singing aspects LOL )


Question:  What is overkill ?  What is still heldback ?  Do's and do nots when singing this type ballad, thanks all in advanced.. I'm starting to bite the bullet and let go more...

http://www.ksolo.com/actions/showSongPr ... uid=391398


ADDED IN:

I relistened to the song and noticed I attacked the first sentence way to hard and strong, and rushed the tempo..  (So that I am aware of)





.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:28 pm 
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Hey Steven. Man, I checked out "Easy". It's ironic that you did that one.....it was one of the next on my list to try, but I needed the song first.
I registered at K-solo too, just to try that song. LOL
But I'm not getting the confirmation e-mail to activate my account? Even though it keeps saying it's been sent?

Anyhow, I'm not comfortable enough to give an honest critique on that song. I don't even know if "I" can do the song yet. I'd really like to try it though. Lionel does alot of switchbacks I think. He'll start a verse in headvoice ending it with alot of force and vice/versa. I think the trick on his stuff is to really "feel" the song......giving it a soulful approach. Man, I'll never buy another Chartbuster cdg......I bought one for the Lionel Richie stuff a long time ago, and basically, it sucks!! That SoundChoice version of "Easy" sounds really good! :wave:


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 5:05 pm 
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Thanks Perry,  I relistened a few times, and I'm going to redo this one tomorrow, I know what I could've done better... Yeah,  I could've made a smoother jump into head voice, and not just chest directly to falsetto... Actually your comment helped because I can do easy transition between chest and head... I forgot to think that tho.. I just did chest to falsetto, actually omitted any effort on the higher softer ranges, I'm going to redo this song tomorrow when no neighbors are around to call the cops on me screaming this out... and at that time I'll focus more on blend, as well as comments on better utlization of chest voice here too..

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 5:08 pm 
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Hey again. Would you have any idea why I can't get in to record at K-Solo Steven?
Maybe my email is screwed up?


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 5:59 pm 
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hiya,  i'll agree u did sing out a lot more on this than u normally do....BUT....I STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU FOR THE MOST PART...oops caps again....it's in the mix for sure...to be honest i think u did a hmmmmm fair job on this....i'm not listening so much to ur singing it as to ur singing out r getting into the song, i feel u did that pretty well....steven i hope u save these songs so that in the future u can go back and compare then to now....i think u will hear a big difference if u keep it up....

i think song choice is everything and knowing what u can and can't handle, was this too much for you? i don't know i couldn't hear that well....but from what i could hear it seemed like the high parts were a tad too high...if that's the case u have 2 choices, suck it up and hit the notes spot on r drop the key a tad....personally i would drop the key a tad...i believe right now u should be more concerned with hitting notes  and staying on key plus adding energy than u should be as to how good u sound singing a song....for now anyway...it's all about learning and with every song u sing u r learning....keep it up u r getting better....i for 1 hear a difference....now sing out and fix ur mix...tc


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 6:34 pm 
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Steven, I think it's important for you to improve your recording setup and mix. It'd be much easier to discern the quality of your vocals. Are you able to obtain a copy of Adobe Audition, Cool Edit Pro or even Audacity software? Did you find a small mixer for recording yet?  I think you'd be happier with the recording quality and you could find it easier to focus on your vocals.

It does sound like you're making progress with your singing on this song. Good pitch!


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:56 pm 
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Perry, I'll PM you regarding K-solo.

Quote:
steven i hope u save these songs so that in the future u can go back and compare then to now....


Never thought of this,  EXCELLENT idea !

Billy, thank you.. I'm going to redo this tomorrow, and see if I keep this song, or scrap it.. I suppose 40% of a song song audibly doesn't pass, true !  Tomorrow will tell if I should keep this song in my repetoir or not.  Interesting thing, I did that "All or none" stuff again, this time scrapped the higher range, and belted the real range.  I focused on singing REAL voice loud, and dumped the higher range.. Not sure why I got into the all/none mindset.. I'll try this as you mentioned tomorrow, and apply dynamics too of course, try to work this out..keeping in mind transitioning and keeping volume AUDIBLE.. If it works IMHO and is "fair" I'll post it, if not, I can't do the song, as you mentioned, I need to get a key changing program for my future attempts btw... Stylistics are next !  As you stated I either do THE SONG, or do not.. I want to wait until the upstairs and across the hall condo neighbors aren't home to belt this...  Thanks again BIlly !   as always, keep the honesty coming, I'm really overlooking some pretty basic common sense things here... I'll catch on, appreciate the help as always..

Don

Thanks for your input,  It's easiest to explain my current "hack" setup

Shure SM-58 (XLR low imp balanced cable run into high imp unbalanced adapter for 1/4" input) running into zoom 2020 FX processors input ( a guitar processor that I hated for guitar due to it's sterile processed patches)... running OUT'VE the headphone 1/16" female jack on the zoom2020 I've got a 1/16th inch male to dual RCA female stereo phono plugs (female 1/8" dual left/right channel) feeding into RCA phono dual--> dual 1/8inch monster cable male plugs with 1/4 inch male adaptors going into TWO separate channels of a Teac 4 channel mixer set reasonable trebly .. meaning

Lowcut toggle setting on each channel gives me THREE options..  
100-center-200.  I have toggle set to 200 for more treble to help kill
some of my "mellow hollow nasaly sound- at least I think it does.. dunno:
the frequency nobs are set to the far right or on a dial of 1K-7K I set them
to 7K..

I use at times a high-line recording setting on the processor, with minimal fx..
(well accept for Strawberry Fields)..  Thanks..

Adobe audition.. Nope, don't have it.  I have NO programs or software, just K-solo.. I never expected to be doing this... never even had cakewalk.. I have nothing on the computer in terms of software..  Just a multifx processor and 4 channel Teac MO-09 mixer from the dark ages  (I used for keyboard sub-mixing)..I don't know what the heck I'm doing true,  however the good news is I haven't started a fire yet or caused any explosions

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:33 am 
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Singer-  Steve Kaplan

Song- Easy (redo after listening to a few suggestion in here, in the process also
                  of making switchover to Adobe Audition, but I haven't a clue how)

Means of Song and recording:  L-solo first take- home recording outboard gear

Artist-  Commodores (Lionel Richie)


Second take trying to take into consideration blend.. but this is still a rough take

Thanks again for listening dudes and dudettes !  Blatant honesty needed !

http://www.ksolo.com/actions/showSongPr ... uid=391398

What *I* believe is missing,  energy and feeling.  I'm tired, and it likely shows..

This time around was for range only... Later or tomorrow I'll add feeling... and redo this a third time..

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