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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 10:45 am 
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I feel like a heal, but I'm tired of working my friends parties. I finally put my foot down. I had some friends ask me to do a birthday party on Wed night.

I just explained I stopped doing them. I want to go to the party and not have to work. I want to have a life too. I told them the truth. I feel the need to give friends a break on the price, so I end up working more for less money, plus the fact I never get to enjoy myself.

It sucks when your close friend gets married and instead of being invited I'm asked to work. Aaaarg ! and then they expect you to do it for free.

It's like if my friend was a cook and everytime I had a get together I asked them to cook for everyone.

I just needed to vent a bit. I feel bad, but on the other hand I'm almost relieved I finally said something.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 11:03 am 
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I hardly ever get asked to work my friends' parties and weddings. The ones I do, they're more casual acquaintances than friends, and I probably wouldn't have been invited anyway, so I don't mind those so much.

For parties, I just bring my laptop and a smaller system and run a playlist on iTunes. that way, they still get some tunes, and I get to have a good time. I usually either do these for free, or dirt cheap.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 11:40 am 
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I understand how you feel --- Especially during the summer at all the BIRTHDAY / GRADUTION / ANNIVERSARY and HOLIDAY parties its always the SAME ....

Can you bring your equipment ? We NEED music ? -- OH you don't have to work or DJ ..Can't you just set up the computer to play by itself :( :( :shock:


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 11:47 am 
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When I'm asked by friends to do a party as a musician there's never an issue with getting paid. The problems have been coming up when I'm asked to do karaoke. There seems to be a double standard in some people's minds that I don't get.

A few weeks ago I was asked to provide karaoke for a couple at their home in August. When I quoted them a price of $300, which would have been my fee as a musician and a very reasonable figure I thought, their jaws just dropped. They haven't been to my show since.

So don't feel alone Babs.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 11:50 am 
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Sometimes we all need to vent a bit!

I used to feel bad about charging my friends or give them extra discounts etc.

I just explained to them that I do it for a living and I need to charge my normal rate. The only time I vary from this is if someone has given my 2 or 3 referrals which led to bookings. Then I will give them a nice discount for promoting my business.

This usually ends the conversation about lower prices etc.

I have done quite well from referrals though and I'm glad to give them discounts on future events.

Babs you need to have some time with your friends outside a working karaoke situation and you deserve it.

Vent away

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 11:51 am 
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Yeah, part of it is that I was so wiling when I was learning.

I have some karaoke friends who are getting married. I had offered to do a karaoke party for their reception, or for a separate karaoke reception, if they wanted it, as a gift.

But when I got the call, they wanted me to do 4 hours of wedding music for the reception ("because the families don't like karaoke") followed by 4 hours of karaoke. And outside, so it is the big heavy setup. And the hassle of dealing with a long period outside.

That means an hour-and-a-half drive there, 60 minutes of load-in and setup, 8 hours of DJing, and 2 hours to load and drive home again. That's over 12 hours, plus they wanted me to advance it (i.e. scout the setup and approve it).

Add to that the fact I have never done a wedding and that I am not really a DJ, just a karaoke host. I don't have much dance music, either, and no lights to speak of. So I turned it down and said I would be happy to do the karaoke party as I had offered, but that I couldn't do the wedding part.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 12:02 pm 
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Wow Bill...really?

Obviously they have no idea what kind of investment you have made or what your time is worth. Are these close friends or just bar acquaintances?

I had someone call me for a Wedding in late September and asked me for a price I told them $600 and there was total silence on the other end of the phone. She said I was kind of thinking around $200 and I just chuckled and said good luck hun..LOL Wedding DJ's are priced from $500 to $2000 for 4 hours.....My point is she had no clue what it cost to hire a professional, many folks do not. This sounds like what happened in your case.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 12:10 pm 
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Now those people had unreasonable expectations. How ludicrous. That was a $1000 gig and nothing less with all that was involved...taking into consideration you would have had to procure the music (other than karaoke). 12 hours is crazy. We contracted to do a wedding at the usual $500 for 4 hours, just music. Time was up and of course the expectation was that we would just keep going ... I looked at the bride with a surprised look on my face....She said "I'll pay you whatever you want if you'll stay." Now that's more like it. I doubled my fee and everyone was happy, including the bride. It's very difficult, when you're dealing with friends, to relay in a pleasant and tactful way that you do this for a living, not as a paying hobby, although some people DO seem to consider DJ/KJ a paying hobby.

At first I was insulted when friends would ask someone else to do the music at their functions - until I realized that in the end, I would be much happier as an attendee rather than the music contractor...although I always end up becoming hypercritical about the way the music is done...what is played, how it is mixed, etc. etc.

On the other hand, I will do private parties for a reduced rate for friends (and only friends) if it is possible to just set up the powered Mackies and sub, the board, and the laptop and play a pre-arranged set list. No talking, no request, just loud, happy music. To me, if I have to be there to listen, I'd like the selection to be appropriate and the sound to be good.

BTW, since uploading everything I owned onto a laptop, just using Windows Media Player, and supplementing with the odd purchased CD and music off one of the commercial sites, I am more apt to take those DJ jobs because it is SO simple. I didn't realize how much music I had in the way of CDs (thousands)...I took the time to rip to the laptop selectively (not uploading entire CDs that weren't "best of" collections), and set up playlists which I occasionally edit. I can now take that laptop to any function and literally start it playing and relax. I know this is probably common knowledge, but I'm sure there are people out there who, like me, had no idea how simple this could be. Hey, takes me a while but eventually I get close to where everyone else is technologically. Only took me 3 years to computerize my karaoke biz!

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 12:45 pm 
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The price I quoted was a "for friends" rate. A low hours low key house function for people I knew.

As they say you learn who your real friends are when things like this come up.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 1:24 pm 
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yeah, doesn't surprise me much.

THe problem is, they see these hacks on Craigslist and yahoo and stuff, and THINK that the pros should do the same thing.

I'd rather not get paid than to get lowballed like that.

A friend asked me to do a party and when I gave them my price, their jaws dropped. I told them to get their own equipment, their own music (all legal, mind you), the experience to run it well, how to troubleshoot it if there's problems...

The dude was kewl with it, especially when I got a bit irked and explained the above. She told me to F off, and they've not spoken with me since. I heard they hired a joker to do their party and more than a few told me it totally blew chunks! I just kinda smiled... I mean, nobody likes a "I told ya so!", but I couldn't help but feel justified!


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 2:02 pm 
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Most folks just don't have a clue what it takes to setup, do the gig, and tear down, and then the gas expense etc. Not to mention that if it's a wedding or very special event you end up doing alot of work in prep to have the correct music and everything perfect for them.

I'm very selective on doing weddings as they can be very intricate if you have to do the emcee work etc. This takes talent and lots of preparation, and of course your are expected to perform flawlessly. Then they want you to do it cheap. I know this sounds crazy but I'm looking for anything that could possibly send up a red flag, if I see one then I address it and if I don't feel comfortable I decline to do the event. I would rather walk away then have an bad experience with a wedding.

I don't do any family weddings period. I recommend another DJ/KJ for the event.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 2:14 pm 
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mckyj57 @ Fri Jun 13, 2008 2:51 pm wrote:
... they wanted me to do 4 hours of wedding music for the reception ("because the families don't like karaoke") followed by 4 hours of karaoke. And outside, so it is the big heavy setup. And the hassle of dealing with a long period outside.



That sounds like a bleeding nightmare, mate! :shock:


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 2:51 pm 
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When we do weddings, it's karaoke, the price is set and half paid a week prior to the event (non-refundable) and the rest prior to starting. We tell them we ARE NOT DJs. We do not carry DJ music. If they want some played, they have to provide the discs. We will give a bit of a discount to a regular.

We've never had a problem with a wedding.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 5:47 pm 
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Murrlyn @ Fri Jun 13, 2008 5:14 pm wrote:
mckyj57 @ Fri Jun 13, 2008 2:51 pm wrote:
... they wanted me to do 4 hours of wedding music for the reception ("because the families don't like karaoke") followed by 4 hours of karaoke. And outside, so it is the big heavy setup. And the hassle of dealing with a long period outside.



That sounds like a bleeding nightmare, mate! :shock:

Makes me happy I realized I should just decline to do that to myself....


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 7:27 pm 
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Karaoke @ weddings is a completely different deal. DJ and emcee work can be a pain in the butt. I've never had problems at weddings either mainly because I turn down the ones that I know up front are difficult.

I would much rather be doing a karaoke reception with a little filler music. Way less stress and alot more fun.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 9:18 pm 
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LOL I used to feel offended if I didnt get asked to dj a friends wedding or party but Ive now done a few for friends & now Im thankful for the ones that dont ask LOL

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 9:39 pm 
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It's kind of like owning a vintage pick up or station wagon. The "rellies" will expect you to haul their crap to the dump in it and don't understand about the money and time you put into it. I get the same thing about DJing or KJing for family. I usually recommend a friends service. I wanna party too, not haul equipment and play music.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 8:24 am 
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lordairgtar @ Fri Jun 13, 2008 9:39 pm wrote:
It's kind of like owning a vintage pick up or station wagon. The "rellies" will expect you to haul their crap to the dump in it and don't understand about the money and time you put into it. I get the same thing about DJing or KJing for family. I usually recommend a friends service. I wanna party too, not haul equipment and play music.


I can totally relate to your analogy on the pickup truck. I actually sold my truck because of this. Every one of my friends always included me in their moving plans, trips to the dump, etc. Then when it came to paying for gas or returning the favor they always had a reason why they couldn't. So I sold the sucker...LOL A few years ago I bought a large SUV and I'm right back in the same boat...only now gas is way more expensive..LMAO

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 9:10 am 
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Flipper @ Sat Jun 14, 2008 11:24 am wrote:
lordairgtar @ Fri Jun 13, 2008 9:39 pm wrote:
It's kind of like owning a vintage pick up or station wagon. The "rellies" will expect you to haul their crap to the dump in it and don't understand about the money and time you put into it. I get the same thing about DJing or KJing for family. I usually recommend a friends service. I wanna party too, not haul equipment and play music.


I can totally relate to your analogy on the pickup truck. I actually sold my truck because of this. Every one of my friends always included me in their moving plans, trips to the dump, etc. Then when it came to paying for gas or returning the favor they always had a reason why they couldn't. So I sold the sucker...LOL A few years ago I bought a large SUV and I'm right back in the same boat...only now gas is way more expensive..LMAO

Find better friends, or learn to say No. 8-)


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 10:28 am 
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I guess enough of our friends have pickups - nobody has asked to borrow mine yet. Of course having a canopy on it limits what can be put in it, as opposed to hauling things like refrigerators that have to be hauled standing up. However, I did just purchase a 14 x 7 utility trailer recently for band gear, and my son-in-law, who has never borrowed anything from me, recently sold his nice new Dodge...replaced it with a Chrysler 300 (very much a show-car looking vehicle). He saw the trailer and made a suggestion that there might be people wanting to borrow THAT... Has the ramp, etc., easy to move things. I told him he could use it and I'd take the Chrysler for the day. Funny look on his face...

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