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I know this might sound a little wierd for a topic of disscussion here, I don't know. But, I have had at least 4 people in the past week talk to me about their phobias. Two of which overcame them this week, or at least enough so that they could function, and do what they needed, or wanted to do.

MandiLynn, you mentioned your fear of flying today,and it reminded me of my conversion with my son just 2 hours earlier.
Michael, (23) would never, ever so much as get on any kind of ride at an amusement park etc., because of his phobia of heights. No one in this world could have been more afraid to get on an airplane, that is a fact. Well today I called him about something else, and he told me he had just landed from his airplane flight to Mass. He had such a feeling of accomplishment in his voice, a feeling of power maybe. He had signed up for a music class at Berkely in Boston, and maybe that gave him the push he needed to try and overcome his fear. He said he just had one beer, and one shot before he left. Then he ended up with a window seat, .
Anyway, my point to all this is that 2 of the 4 have told me this week that they have overcome their lifelong phobias, so it is possible!
I have mine, which I will share if I can get some other feedback on this thread.
Thats all I wanted to say Mandi,now you can get some sleep!

Sleep? I can play online a bit at work, but I probably shouldn't nap.

Oh, yeah, me and airplanes.... we have a lifelong distaste for one another. That's a fact. Ya ready for a big ol' story? Hope so, cause here goes:

Funny thing, I am NOT afraid of heights, not in the least bit. Gosh, I spent my childhood climbing trees, and fishing off bridges and ledges.. nope, not afraid of heights at all. It's just the fear of the plane crashing that scares me I guess. And the fear... of simply... being afraid. I have no doubt that without the aid of alcohol ( a lot of it ) I'd have a panic attack in the air. The old saying "the only thing you have to fear is fear itself"..... ?? ..... that sums up my reasoning for not getting on a plane. Realistically, I know I most likely wouldn't die in a plane crash, I'd more likely die from being *scared* I was gonna die in a plane crash.

A few years ago, I used to have panic attacks once in a while. Not the freaking out, screaming kind, the silent kind where I wanted to curl up and die rather than face my fear. I was scared to drive very far by myself, scared to be alone at home, forever afraid something "might happen". I had a constant fear that I would quit breathing, or have an allergic reaction to something (quit eating tuna-one of my favs- and peanut butter, and corn, and eggs, all the things people typically have reactions to, even tho I've never been allergic to anything) Until, my husband started wanting me to go to the doctor to find out what my problems were. I was afraid of being the last one awake in the house at night (really), thought I'd die in my sleep and nobody would know... and I would have a panic attack, and lay there shaking and crying until exhaustion put me to sleep. It often woke him up with a "what's the matter?".... and I'd say I had a stomach ache/headache/leg cramps/whatever- and since I knew it would make me sleepy, I started taking Benadryl at night (that way, I couldn't have any allergic reactions, and I'd be too drowsy to stay awake) I took two a night for probably a couple years... and finally one day, I just explained it to him as best I could. I had always been embarassed to, cause I looked at my fear of stuff as being a weakness, but I got tired of not being able to talk it out. I can't count the nights after that where he'd sit up and tell me "go ahead and go to sleep, I'll be awake for a while"... crazy guy, must have got tired of doing that for me. Two years or so before that I had had a blackout spell driving down the highway.... literally lost conciuosness in the middle of the road. I had gotten dizzy, then my heart started pounding, my palms were sweating... etc... and I blacked out. Luckily, my car drifted to a stop, and I wasn't in an accident. Was taken to the hospital, and had a follow up doc appointment, 1000 tests run on me.... just to be told it was panic/anxiety. I laughed in their faces and told them heck no I wasn't taking any meds to stop the anxiety. ( I was actually.... afraid.... to take meds I was unfamiliar with, how ironic) But it seemed once I found out that I had the capability to scare my self into unconsiousness, it escalated.

I have only gotten over this nonsense in the last few years. I refuse to take pills for something like that. I even tried alcohol before bedtimes, and it did seem to make me less worried enough to sleep better, but it also made me want to sit up and play my guitar rather than sleep. I finally had a heart-to-heart with myself, and realized it was getting worse and I needed to get a grip on it. So, I started making myself do things I had gotten afraid to do.... putting on a brave face and forcing myself to do things I knew would bring on panic. It worked. Little by little, things got easier, now I can laugh it off. I still have issues from time to time, but it's been a LONG time since I've had an actual panic attack, cause I refuse to allow myself to get that way, I more or less talk myself out of the fear.

So, yeah, if I can do that- I'll fly someday too..... cause I'm gonna make myself get on a plane. I'm sure I'll need a bit of the magic brew- and a firm hand holding mine to stop me from running off. I just have to figure out where I'm gonna go;)

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Wow Mandi, what a story. The whole time I was reading this, I kept thinking, "I hope this is gonna have a happy ending", cause that was one hell of a way to go through life. So glad you overcame those things, and you did it without meds, (highly unusual nowadays).
If I could only get my 58 year old cousin to overcome his. Whats so sad in his case, is that one day on his death bed, he is gonna realize that everything passed him by, simply because of being afraid.
Anyway, when you need a heavy hand for that airplane ride, I just happen to have one. Also have some of that mountain hooch, for that special day!
Sorry for the mistakes in starting this thread, I was operating a mill, while trying to type,not a multitasker!
Ron

Well, I should be paying more attention to my work rather than checking in here every 5-10 minutes.... today is slow, and would have been a nice catch up day. (but you guys totally messed that up)



I was never like that as a kid, quite the opposite, I was a bit of a wild hellion... always had to keep up with my older brothers in everything they did. That set in after age 30, after being married for years and having 4 kids. I don't know what the heck ever brought it on. I really don't know how people can take a lifetime of that. I think, because it was the total opposite of the "me" I had always been, it helped in my determination to get over it and start living normally again... I knew what kinds of things I was missing.



ha- I may hold you to that... I don't have anyone else willing. And I'll definately hold you to that mountain hooch offer;)

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Oh I've got a billion panic attack stories (actually a billion and one counting yesterdays ) going back to 1973. Yep it's not a pleasant way to go through life. My problem is more of a brain chemistry problem -- not enough serotonin and GABA. But I know some people can overcome panic/anxiety/phobias without the meds.

Hell, even Tony Soprano (The mobster) had panic attacks. Thats when he started seeing the therapist with the killer legs, (I forget her name,but not those legs).

I've heard that a vitamin B complex can help with that. (seriously)

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

Have a phobia of driving under overpasses for fear that a car is going to crash over embankment.
This stems from an incident as a child (about 9 or 10) I actually saw this happen & the car flipped over & landed on another car driving underneath killing all instantly - including a child about my age at the time. Ever since i've been freaked out at that - I do it, but will cringe & get a shiver up my spine everytime.

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I started out with no fear of flying at all. But I spent about 10 years traveling constantly. I did literally thousands of takeoffs and landings, and I think I started feeling that my number was going to come up just based on percentages.

So I started getting a bit nervous. One flight a stew noticed me gripping the armrest, and said "Oh, you don't like landings?" I confessed, and she said "Don't worry about the landings, the takeoffs are ever so much more dangerous." Then I started gripping the armrest for both....

But after a while, I guess I just figured that if my number was going to come up, it would come up. Intellectually I know I am much more likely to die in a car crash than a plane crash, even with all the flying I have done. But I can certainly understand where the fear-of-flying people are coming from.

[font=verdana] As a child I had a great fear of crossing bridges, anything bigger than going over a culvert had me scared. Back in the 80’s I was returning from MA via Canada and took the bridge back into Detroit, scared the heck out of me. So a few years later, on the same journey, I took the tunnel, then worried all the way through that the tunnel would collapse and I wouldn’t have a chance of surviving. At least if the bridge collapsed, and I lived through the fall, I could try and swim to safety.

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Funny thing, I am NOT afraid of heights, not in the least bit. Gosh, I spent my childhood climbing trees, and fishing off bridges and ledges.. nope, not afraid of heights at all. It's just the fear of the plane crashing that scares me I guess. And the fear... of simply... being afraid. I have no doubt that without the aid of alcohol ( a lot of it ) I'd have a panic attack in the air. The old saying "the only thing you have to fear is fear itself"..... ?? ..... that sums up my reasoning for not getting on a plane. Realistically, I know I most likely wouldn't die in a plane crash, I'd more likely die from being *scared* I was gonna die in a plane crash.

Mandi, I could have written that statement, it really sums up my fear of flying.
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My only phobia that I am aware of is speaking in front of a crowd which correlates directly with doing karaoke. I have talked about this before, my brother was a co-host of a karaoke show and had been for over 2 years before I ever performed. He would try to get me to sing and I would literally start to feel nauseous.

I think that quite a few people that are apprehensive about singing are just worried that they don't sing very well and don't want to look foolish on stage. I on the other hand am scared to death of being in front of a crowd. It has nothing to do with how good I sound or don't sound, it is just frightening for me. One day he finally told me " Rudy, it's not life or death, it's not like you're getting ready to have brain surgery, it's just karaoke and you know that you can carry a tune! ". I thought about how right he was and finally set my mind to try and get over it. At first I would make him sing with me, then little by little he weaned me off.

I still get a little nervous when I go to out of town venues, but not to the extent that I wouldn't sing. Sad thing is that while karaoke has become fairly easy for me, giving presentations at work still make me really nervous.

Lonnie I understand the wreck thing, in the late 80's I t-boned a car going 50 MPH, never touched the brake ( they ran a red light ) and for years coming to intersections I would ride the brake while going through, it was way worse if I wasn't driving. It finally went away but it took awhile. One thing I've noticed since we are here in Texas, a lot of people have snake phobias. Kind of weird. Rudy.

As far as "phobias"... yeah, I guess I do have one. I'm terrified of fire, always have been, though I've gotten over it through time. I mean, I can build a fire in the fireplace, or be at a campfire. But sudden fires- scare me. As I kid we lived on a ranch, and when they did the field burnings in the grass fields, mom said I'd stand at the window and scream and cry.... and they'd often have to take me to town for the day so I wouldn't dwell on it. I faintly recall doing that.
At age 17, while driving my future father-in-laws International Scout, the radio wires started smoking... and when I saw the smoke, I lost all train of thought. I ran off the road and landed on my side in an irrigation ditch and as fast as I could go I was out the window and down the road away from the vehicle. My husband, daym him, still laughs to this day and tells people about how fast I got out and away from there. (apparently, I didn't check to see if he was okay- I just bailed)

When I was 2, my father rearended a semi truck and our car burst into flames... mom said I was thrown from the back seat into the rearview mirror (got my very first shiner, Lol) ... so maybe it stems from some young memory of that fire, who knows? I don't remember any of that accident (course not, I was 2). It's not something I usually share with people I hang out with, I did once while camping with friends and had a guy try and scare me with a burning stick from a campfire. (held it up behind my back, so it was inches from my face when he called my name and I turned around) I just about kicked his teeth in after I calmed down. People can be stupid... that's why sometimes, phobias are better kept secret;)

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥

I think everyone has a form of phobia of one thing or another.
I've always looked at it as a challenge. I had a horrible experience growing up with insects. I still to this day rather not eat outside if I don't have to because it causes bugs to fly around.

I found facing the fear is the best medicine. I made myself handle bugs that knew would not bite. Take care of the spider in the house instead of calling for help. Now this took a lot of doing over many yrs. It didn't happen over night, but I don't get nightmares anymore and can eat ouside if I have to.

I used to be deathly afraid of motorcycles. Now I own 2.

If you take baby steps to confront the fear and keep at it you will over come it. Gosh I used to get a broom stand half way across a room and throw it at a spider.

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Sheesh Charmin, I would have kicked that SOB that pulled the campfire prank on you in a more delicate area of his anatomy!

I remember being incredibly startled, scared and shaky in first grade everytime they had a fire drill. The teacher eventually decided to tell me ahead of time when there was going to be a drill. I could then just sit there and watch everybody else get jumpy instead.

Most phobias are easy to treat w/ therapy, and the therapy is much like what mandi MADE herself do, it just doesnt take as long. pretty cool though, self therapy. most phobias are around 90% succesfully treated after completed required therapy sessions.

my mom took pills and did therapy for panic attacks. she kicked it and weened herself off the drugs. sweet!

feelings of panic are normal at certain times.

for instance: see a stray doberman streaking at you, think about the stray doberman streaking after you, panic, symtoms of panic (fight or flight feelings)

panic attacks go like this: something triggers panic attack (unknown reason sometimes), symptoms of panic attack, panic/you feel like a dangerous animal may be streaking at you, but it's not, but you panic even more because SOMETHING must be wrong...

if you can reason with yourself that there is no REAL problem when the symptoms come on, you can deal with those symptoms much better.

anyway, I think it is ok to seek professional help for problems like this. just remember to research more than one option; some of those people will push their favorite method of help, which may not be the best option. usually talk therapies are excellent for phobias, but drugs and talk therapy may be the best option for true panic attacks brought on for no apparent reason.

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Ham you hit the nail on the head when you say that no 1 treatment will suit everybody. I have just undergone desensitization for two lifelong phobias. Bear in mind this was the third attempt...the first two attempts failed miserably. Drugs didnt work, in fact prozac and those sorts of things have an adverse fight or flight reaction with me, so when taking them I always felt like impending doom was about to happen.

Anyway to cut a long boring story short...lifelong phobia of needles has been sucessfully treated. I wont say it was easy, it was hideous...I was literally bashed over the head with the one thing I had avoided all my adult life. It got to the stage that I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. She had me holding syringes stuck in her arm, she had me sticking the needles just under the first layer of skin on my own arm

Anyway I finally volunteered for a blood test, she came with me and although I got upset I didnt panic. So there was an even balance of distaste and upset for having to undergo it, mixed with elation that I had done it and had been "grown up" about it.

Surgery meant I had to wake up with a drip in my arm...that too was suffered without undue panic. So while I was on a roll, I faced the next big thing...dentists. I hadnt been to one since they stopped dishing out a general anaesthetic...(over 20 years) but vanity kicked in when half my front tooth was knocked out with the tube in my mouth during surgery.

So the last 3 months have been an enormous learning curve...and I have had more injections in the last month than I have had in my lifetime.

But hell it feels good not to carry the excess baggage...My advice is take the time to find someone you can identify with...only then when the right person helps, can you expect to get through it.

I found myself wanting to push boundaries to please the shrink...no charmin not a man ...here was this lady who had sat for long periods of time with a needle sticking in her arm just chatting bout day to day stuff...she even researched the phobia cos unlike most I could look at and handle syringes hell I could even give my horses their injections and take blood...but the moment I felt something under my skin I lose control, and being a control freak, t5hat is the very worst thing that can happen to me. So the needles were not necessarily the cause, they were the catalyst. She discovered that there were approx 10% of phobics that had symptoms like mine. I guess it was a relief to be given creedence.

finally...phobias can be almost a security blanket...for someone like me who is happy not to be the same as others, it was a lifelong part of what defines me. But I have found that losing the phobias hasnt caused me to lose my identity...yeah I know that sounds weird but it just is...a lot of people who have lifelong phobias find it difficult to leave something that has been part of their lives for so long.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

When this topic first started I was thinking you guys are messing up, telling things like this on yourself. But right now I would have say you guys are tuff for standing up for yourself to over come such great fears. I admire you guys.

I have problem with Claustrophobia. I never delt with it I just live around.



"phobias can be almost a security blanket...for someone like me who is happy not to be the same as others, it was a lifelong part of what defines me."
Thanks MorganLeFey

does it make me weak to admit to a perceived weakness? I guess the answer will vary from person to person...personally I think not

its like the perception of cool I guess. Someone here once made fun of my car...but to me the definition of cool is not having all the latest and coolest of everything...its to be able to drive an uncool car, or to wear an uncool clothes and still be perceived as cool.

to me cool is nothing more than having the confidence to be you instead of bending over backwards to try and fit in

I would far rather have idiocyncratic friends who were true to themselves than hang with the "cool" crowd

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"Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter... Don't mind...And those that mind... Don't matter."

i know, i wish i would have tried to be myself more back in the day, like in high school. my father prized "fitting in". so i always felt funny trying to be myself, and i am weird, which made it worse. finally got away from parents and things eventually got better.

phobias are strange beings. many experts think they come from environmental contact (learned), but many others think the are "hard wired". i think the answer is both. the line between clean/efficient/careful and having OCD is much finer than most think. OCD is related to phobias and some of the symptoms ride the line of being OCD-like. actions that eventually lead to being diagnosed OCD or phobic are normally thought of as being strengths, not problems. being very aware of your surroundings and clean probably went along way when early man lived outside. today alot of these actions are unnesc. what are the chances a deadly spider will be under your sheets? not near as much as one crawling into your cave.

i don't have many phobias, but am not fully comfortable doing toasts/talking to large groups. karaoke KJing and just singing solo in front of people has helped this a great deal.

to me strength does come in admitting a weakness, if done in the right context. you don't want to let your enemies know them. but your friends will help you get better. and if you let a friend know you have a problem and they won't help you or support you, probably dont need that person in your life anymore. sounds simple and trite but takes a long time to learn.

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Well, I also have this phobia/fear of losing my ability to type and interact with my online friends.... and my life would fall apart if that happened... so my fear makes me blurt all my personal info all over the net to random people.



Okay, so that was made up;) I just tend to share too much at times. But you're right, such things should be kept locked in a closet.

Charmin <------ Not afraid of anything;)

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♥ Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain. Cherish the memories, ignore the pain. Love and learn, forget and forgive. Because you only have one life to live. ♥