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 Post subject: Re: Losing Your Cool
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 4:58 pm 
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first off, "HI" to everyone. sorry i've been away for so long.

similar? i'd say!
just a couple short months ago i had a group, getting drunk of course, and the drunker they got the more obnoxious. eventually toward the end of the the show the "birthday girl" decided she was going to sing with everyone regardless if they even knew her. finally every time i saw her approach the stage i just muted her mic. she finally got pi$$ed and tossed the mic to the ground, not slamming it, but tossing it. still i got very angry since i use more expensive wireless mics. when she got close enough that i wasnt disturbing any of the other customers, i started in on her not yelling but tlakeing the way you would talk to your teenage child that was in trouble. her husband, who was oblivious to the entire goins-on, tackles me from behind and we go flying. i've got him around the neck in a choke hold keeping any of the punches he's trying to throw from connecting. what he didn't know is that a couple of big ol' boys (and i'm talking 6'4" 290lbs) were right behind me and are regulars at all three of my shows. (yes, i'm up the three now. don't ask me how it happened, because i'm not sure!) anyway, while they pulled him off, i wasn't letting go of the guy's neck so it resulted in a broken collar bone and 2nd degree separated shoulder for me and an aggrevated assault charge for him which is a felony charge. now, i could have been a real jerk and gone ahead with the charges AND sued him for a ton of money. as it is i just asked him to pay the medical bills and we'd call it even. he did and i can now move my arm, but they don't come to my shows anymore.

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 Post subject: Re: Losing Your Cool
PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 1:55 am 
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knightshow @ Fri Jul 18, 2008 3:47 pm wrote:
yeah, Jerks can irritate you, and drunk ones seem to irritate even more!

I agree about the 86 scenario. Without a series of controls, stuff like this can escalate out of control.

And yes, mute or the volume control can be your best friend.

At my shows, I always had the singers hand the mics back to me, as I usually had folks that would grab the mic when walking by and act stupid.

As for what to do when the guy confronts you, don't take the bait. Of course, in my venues I worked in, I always had the agreement if I said they're 86'd, or the manager said one of my singers was 86'd, we backed each other up. At a venue called "Reds" I left because that wasn't honored. Gave them notice that night. (The troublemaker started to mouth off on the mic, and my partner turned off the mic, and then the idiot on the mic realized it was off, and spiked my BRAND NEW mic onto the pool table. I told him he wasn't going to sing EVER on my system, and I pulled the receipt out of my pocket and told him, "Congratulations, you just bought a new microphone that's been spiked. I want a replacement one!"

To the guy's credit, he DID pay for the mic. But by then, I was already out of there.


I'm thinking of starting my own place that will offer Karaoke whenever the doors are open. This is exactly the way I plan on running it. I don't have any patience for belligerent people. I won't put up with it and I don't expect anybody else to put up with it if I'm in charge. One of my first hires is going to be security and it will be their job to look for trouble and take care of it before it gets out of control.


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 Post subject: Re: Losing Your Cool
PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 4:35 am 
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We have singers that will not go to most of the bars in town. But if we are doing a spot gig in a strange bar they will come. I can not have abusive drunks or fights. My regular bar hired security. Shawn is a former Navy Seal. He is very cordial and friendly but do F$% with him....

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 Post subject: Re: Losing Your Cool
PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:11 am 
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pflugerville @ Mon Jul 21, 2008 6:58 pm wrote:
first off, "HI" to everyone. sorry i've been away for so long.

similar? i'd say!
just a couple short months ago i had a group, getting drunk of course, and the drunker they got the more obnoxious. eventually toward the end of the the show the "birthday girl" decided she was going to sing with everyone regardless if they even knew her. finally every time i saw her approach the stage i just muted her mic. she finally got pi$$ed and tossed the mic to the ground, not slamming it, but tossing it. still i got very angry since i use more expensive wireless mics. when she got close enough that i wasnt disturbing any of the other customers, i started in on her not yelling but tlakeing the way you would talk to your teenage child that was in trouble. her husband, who was oblivious to the entire goins-on, tackles me from behind and we go flying. i've got him around the neck in a choke hold keeping any of the punches he's trying to throw from connecting. what he didn't know is that a couple of big ol' boys (and i'm talking 6'4" 290lbs) were right behind me and are regulars at all three of my shows. (yes, i'm up the three now. don't ask me how it happened, because i'm not sure!) anyway, while they pulled him off, i wasn't letting go of the guy's neck so it resulted in a broken collar bone and 2nd degree separated shoulder for me and an aggrevated assault charge for him which is a felony charge. now, i could have been a real jerk and gone ahead with the charges AND sued him for a ton of money. as it is i just asked him to pay the medical bills and we'd call it even. he did and i can now move my arm, but they don't come to my shows anymore.


Wow ! I'm so sorry to hear you had to deal with all that. That's the thing with drunks in a bar, you never know what they are capable of. You could have had a bouncer right there and you still would have had a problem. Unfortunately it is part of the job dealing with jerks. I feel pretty safe where I'm at right now, but you never know. Experience with this type of person helps, but some situations you just can't defuse.

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 Post subject: Re: Losing Your Cool
PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:25 am 
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After many years of shore patrol and dealing with nam vets just back from the front I tried to start a thread about how to deal with drunks. As per usual all the kids here wanted to argue with me so I gave up...

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 Post subject: Re: Losing Your Cool
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:44 pm 
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We're not working at a coffee shop. We're at a place where adults congregate to socialize and drink alcohol. Inherently some will get drunk. Some of those will get belligerent. Call it an occupational hazard.

Your venue's management should understand that and take appropriate measures to keep their employees (and patrons) safe.

I hate drunks too, but such is the nature of this biz.

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 Post subject: Re: Losing Your Cool
PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:43 am 
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DJ Swirl @ Sun Jul 20, 2008 2:28 pm wrote:
PirateMike @ Sat Jul 19, 2008 7:23 am wrote:


Uh, yeah. Maybe you need an Easy Reader version of this thread, because I DID cut the mic off. He grabbed it from a singer once it was back on and before I could cut it off again, he said what he said.

I deal with drunks all the time, and y'know, I'm pretty good at it. I tended bar for 13 years before this, so I think I know what I'm doing. This is the first time in my entire DJing career - which spans some 10 years - I've lost my cool, so telling me to switch occupations is ignorant.


Uh...new thread, "Losing your cool in this forum." Hit a nerve, did I? You would think someone with all your "experience" would know how to handle these situations then.


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 Post subject: Re: Losing Your Cool
PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:34 pm 
Hey Swirl, You should be commended for trying to maintain your professional composure, and you were trying to look out for the girls who were being bullied, both good things! However as humans, we have varying degrees of tolerance for abuse and stupidity which can be sometimes hard to control. Too bad there was'nt bouncers that could take care of this type of thing, as you should'nt have too. Yelling is bad enough, but if some drunk crossed the line and put his hands on me, that would be the end of my self control. Luckily, it did'nt get quite that ugly.


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 Post subject: Re: Losing Your Cool
PostPosted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 3:31 am 
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what happened to the ban button? I see a new member that is only here to be a jerk!


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 Post subject: Re: Losing Your Cool
PostPosted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 9:26 am 
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PirateMike @ Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:43 am wrote:
Uh...new thread, "Losing your cool in this forum." Hit a nerve, did I? You would think someone with all your "experience" would know how to handle these situations then.


Well, gee, when someone opens up to the forum and asks if anyone else had a similar experience, and another poster says, "Wahh" and tells you to change occupations rather than saying something constructive, I can't imagine why someone might take offense. And here you are again with another insult (putting experience in quotes is an insult where I come from). Hit a nerve? Nope. But as evidenced by the first post of this thread, I do have a low tolerance for jerky behavior. Congratulations on being a jerk. Your parents must be proud.

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 Post subject: Re: Losing Your Cool
PostPosted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 11:28 am 
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We had a terrible drunken situation at the bar last night. You would think people could at least respect others sober or even drunk, in a bar or here in the forum.


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 Post subject: Re: Losing Your Cool
PostPosted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 3:56 pm 
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PirateMike @ Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:43 am wrote:
DJ Swirl @ Sun Jul 20, 2008 2:28 pm wrote:
PirateMike @ Sat Jul 19, 2008 7:23 am wrote:


Uh, yeah. Maybe you need an Easy Reader version of this thread, because I DID cut the mic off. He grabbed it from a singer once it was back on and before I could cut it off again, he said what he said.

I deal with drunks all the time, and y'know, I'm pretty good at it. I tended bar for 13 years before this, so I think I know what I'm doing. This is the first time in my entire DJing career - which spans some 10 years - I've lost my cool, so telling me to switch occupations is ignorant.


Uh...new thread, "Losing your cool in this forum." Hit a nerve, did I? You would think someone with all your "experience" would know how to handle these situations then.

OK, first, it is not the responsibility of the KJ to deal with abusive patrons beyond protecting his own equipment and singers.. The rest is up to the venue owner. If the venue doesn't offer at least nominal help in this, I would start looking for a new venue. I've had a lot of experience in these types of situations and it does no one any good if the KJ has to act as "bouncer". Swirl, I think you did alright. We all lose our cool once in a while.


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 Post subject: Re: Losing Your Cool
PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:26 am 
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Well, guess who showed back up last night for the first time (at my show anyway) since the incident a few weeks back? That's right, Mr. Loudmouth himself. He had menace on his mind, because he was giving me the ole stink eye and asking the owner if he was going to get thrown out if there was trouble. Basically, he was looking for a fight. This guy is in his mid-forties and still trying to live vicariously through his high school and collegiate wrestling career, which is apparently the stuff of legend around the tiny town of Hebron, KY. Guess he never got over being the big tough guy.

I told the owner straight up, "I'm not afraid of this guy, but if he approaches me in any way whatsoever, I walk. For good. Period." If they want to continue to serve this yahoo, that's not my business, but under no circumstances, and especially after what he said to the owner last night, should he be allowed back in when I'm working. Owner went and talked to him and he left shortly thereafter, but I have no idea what was said other than, "Don't go near the stage or him."

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