Karaoke Forums

Please remember that this is my opinion only and not to be taken to heart unless you want to.
I, personally, think it is NEVER ok to handle the situation in that manner. What would you do if your spouse was not there?
Whatever it is, that is the way it should be handled.
What I would do is tell they guy that I would appreciate it if he kept his hands to himself. Be firm and direct and leave no question as to your meaning.
You don't have to be mean when you do it, but just be frank and firm. "Please keep your hands to yourself".
My reason for not having hubby involved is that testosterone tends to flare up in situations like this and also, if you let your hubby handle it, you are, in effect, telling the offender (and anyone else that is present and aware of what is going on)that you are weak and an easy target.

If the guy is truly very drunk, then it should be pointed out to bar staff and they should take appropriate steps to settle him down.

RE: The announcing thing, that you're an item...Not a good idea in my mind. In fact, many times people don't even know that hubby is connected to me, or me to him, when we do our shows. Of course there are people who know us at our shows...but when newcomers come in, I just think it is more professional to deal with the dudes or dudettes ourselves in a quiet but forceful way, and eliminate in their minds even the tiniest chance that we're interested in them other than as singers at our show or patrons at the bar. I think it is possible if the offender is not TOO wasted to use comic relief to break up the situation and then nobody has to feel badly. I only resort to down and dirty embarrassment methods if I am pushed too far...but nobody ever sees it (unless I ask for help). Sometimes a 6'5" tall dude with a firm hand asking me if this guy might be bothering me really eliminates the need for me to do anything at all! When you have a very established gig (for years and years), your singers become your friends, and there's no question that they will try to aid in resolving a situation. I really try not to focus attention on these kinds of encounters.

I recently started filling in at a little pub in my neighborhood. On the first night running the show this happened to me. A drunken group of women that wanted to sing together all night. One of them thought she would use her womanly charms to get moved up in the rotation.

I simply explained to her that I had a job to do and while I appreciated the attention, I did not have time for it at the moment.
Needless to say, that didn't last long and she moved on to other conquests.....

Next night my wife was in attendance sitting at a table up front when a overly aggressive male came to the table and began spilling his lines to her. She glanced at me, rolled her eyes, said something in his ear and he immediately left the table and for that matter the entire bar. Never to be seen again that night.

She never has told me what she said to him. She said it was her secret and if she told everyone then it would not scare the men off.

Basically, the best way to handle these situations is to divert their attention to something else. Preferably a shiny object across the room, as that seems to distract most morons.

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Mongo ain't exactly a "who," he's more of a "what".

I am too, but it doesn't seem to matter for some reason. I also flirt back a bit for business purposes. The Goddess gets it, and doesn't get upset- much...

If they become a bit too flirty or touchy, I use body language to cool it down. When speaking to them, I do it with my side to them, turning my head- rather than face to face. I try to keep eye contact to a minimum. When I smile to be friendly, I try to keep my eyes neutral, not involving them in the smile.

Of course, I just try to avoid the amorous drunks completely....

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"No Contests, No Divas, Just A Good Time!"

" Disc based and loving it..."

This happens with my friends Katie and George all the time (don't worry, fake names). George is a former Marine who doesn't take kindly when the drunks get too "handsy" with Katie and has bitch-slapped a few of them. These all seemed fairly justified (I don't go to that bar anymore for all the rowdy drunkards), but the two of them are getting married in a couple of weeks, and recently he just knocked a guy out. When Katie talks about it, we notice she's rather proud of George's manly behavior, and the frequency of these occurrences have begun to bother us all. There's something a little sick going on there, and someone who truly knows his business can handle a drunkard without having to hit him.

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See/hear the serial version of Michael's karaoke novel, "Outro," at outronovel.blogspot.com

BTW, there's another variation of this: drunk girls who grind themselves all over guys when they're singing. It's sort of a way of stealing the spotlight - of making it about them - and after the first buzz of arousal I actually get pretty annoyed about it. Because as soon as the song's over, and you're no longer the star, you know they'll be on to the next guy. I feel like saying, Yo! Get your butt off my crotch! Tryin' to sing here!

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See/hear the serial version of Michael's karaoke novel, "Outro," at outronovel.blogspot.com

Michael. I had that happen to me back during the summer. Problem was, at the time I was in a carbon fiber knee brace from torn ACL and PCL. Well, needless to say, the grinder was so drunk that she stumbled backwards into the grindee, me. Since I was not fleet of foot enough to avoid her I ended up doing more damage to my knee trying to move out of the way.

Kinda brought the fun for the evening to an abrupt halt. Not only for me, but for everyone else. It's kind of hard to keep running a show when there are paramedics in the middle of the stage lugging around a stretcher.

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Mongo ain't exactly a "who," he's more of a "what".

That's sick. I have seen couples do this -- it is a game they play. Unfortunately the poor schmuck who is the pawn suffers. The couple just goes home and gets it on -- pumped by the adrenaline.

Occasionally, though, they run into a problem. I innocently talked to a girl I had gone to high school with and had her biker boyfriend come after me with a broken beer pitcher.(Shows you how long ago that was -- they don't make them from glass any more.) He would have probably killed me, but my friend Joe who looked like a little wimp was a *real* martial arts champ and hurt him pretty bad.

Joe apologized to me afterward, and said he was rushed because of the broken glass, otherwise he wouldn't have had to break anything on the guy. I don't even know really what happened -- it was so fast there was just a blur.

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[color=#ffff55]Mickey J.[/color]
Alas for those who never sing, but die with all their music in them.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

I'm getting kind of late into the conversation here, but I've gotta say that my experience is a little different than your husband's Karen. I get approached a lot more as a KJ than I do as a musician. When you are a musician there's always a wall between you and the audience. As a KJ that wall is not there, and advances are made far more frequently. At least for me now that I'm not a young man anymore!

My kids, after observing the room, have told me that if my wife were still alive she would never have allowed me to do this.

For those of you in relationships or marriages all I've got to share are some things I learned when I was married. Let your partner know that they are number 1! In a group stand next to them. Especially don't place yourself closer to someone who may be flirting with you than your partner. Don't be afraid to hold their hand. Give a light kiss once in a while. Visual signals like that go a lot farther than words over a mic and are reassuring to your partner at the same time.

well said Bill!
[schild=13 fontcolor=DC143C shadowcolor=C0C0C0 shieldshadow=1]You Da MAN![/schild]

Well now! Thanks Knightshow!

Here's an idea. Both of you host at different place and rake in some good money. He won't be watching you and getting jealous and since you'll be spending less time together you'll be REALLY hot for each other when you do have some time alone together.

The really odd thing about this is, Katie was ready to dump George a few months ago, and was considering me - her main confidante through all of this - as his successor! He's actually quite nice to me - either because he doesn't know a think or he understands that I would never make a move on a woman who belongs to another guy. This is, quite literally, turning into a novel, and I'll be interested in seeing what happens a year from now when their Vegas marriage blows up.

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See/hear the serial version of Michael's karaoke novel, "Outro," at outronovel.blogspot.com

Love the ACL story, Mongo! Sorry for your pain.

Yet another example. My older married couple - she the KJ, he the roadie - do fine during the show. He flirts with all the women he wants, because she knows he won't do a thing, and she takes whatever admiration the singers throw her way. But after, when they're loading up the equipment, they bicker like crazy! They should hire somebody else to do the loading for them, it's that bad. I feel like I'm on the set of Everybody Loves Raymond!

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See/hear the serial version of Michael's karaoke novel, "Outro," at outronovel.blogspot.com

Younger women feel safe flirting with old (pieces of wind) like me. I am non-threatening, and I doubt their younger boyfriends feel threatened either. It was actually quite flattering having younger women appear to take an interest in me, until I realized it was only because they didn't even consider me a romantic possibility.

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[color=#ffff55]Mickey J.[/color]
Alas for those who never sing, but die with all their music in them.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

I remember one time, these two old maids liked me so much, they actually brought up a couple of chairs, and sat right next to me. After about 30 minutes, one says to the other....holy crap, this KJ's wackin' off....the other says.... oh my gosh, let's get the heck away from this pervert....the other old maid says.....I can't, he's using my hand.......

The hardest thing for me, wasn't the relationship, but the change in joke's i had to make to fit my new lifestyle.

One minute i'm telling the customers that I haven't had sex since 1983 + vat, and that I've stopped shaving one of my legs so that when i go to bed it feels like i'm with a man. . . to then trying to find humour about my new relationship. 2 years on i still have problems with that, as a couple we are very happy and have no problems (well other than an ongoing discussion about how time travel works)... and sadly, happiness isn't funny.

Tell her to let me in on the secret!

must be why 1983 was considered a vintage year.....

my wife talks too much at karaoke. one night, several women asked me if my day job was in some type of construction business....I finally asked the last lady, why she would assume that, and she that my wife had told her I was cranky because I had some type of an erection problem......

my wife goes several days without shaving her legs.....so when I go to bed it feels like I'm sleeping with a gorrrrrrrrilllllla

and on a more serious note......happiness is funny, and it's sad, it's warm, and sometimes even cold, it's satisfied, yet sometimes it's hunger, sweet yet bitter, loving and sometimes hating can actually bring a smile to your face.....happiness is many different things to different people......the trick is....knowing when/if you're happy.......

I love those kinda girls......and they actually call me coffee......because I grind so fine......lmao....sorry, I couldn't resist.....

ps.....after a few grinds from those butts, it's no longer my crotch......it be schwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig......