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PostPosted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 3:10 pm 
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There's this guy who only comes in occasionally. He's the uncle of one of the regulars. Doesn't sing much, but when he does it's usually country classics. "Seminole Wind" is his go-to song.

He'd been drinking pretty good that night. And instead of his usual material, he puts up "Fat Bottom Girls". OK I thought this is a stretch but let's see what happens.

When he gets up he starts out low, never adjusts, and ends up singing the whole thing an octave down. The whole song.

Afterwards his comment to me was "It's too low for my voice". :shock:

Just wondering if you hosts have had anything interesting said to you like that.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 3:47 pm 
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We had a trio of rather "happy" women falter on "How Do I LIve"--actually it was the Leann Rimes version so it was "How Do I Leave." They kept saying it was wrong--panic--did we put up the wrong song?

"It's the right words but it not the right song!"

They sang it better sober the next week.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 3:51 am 
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Last night, I had a very drunk female demand Harper Valley PTA, but when it came up she just stared at the screen. Then she declares that it's not the right song, she wanted to sing Harper Valley PTA.
When I explained that it WAS Harper Valley PTA, she said, "No, the other Harper Valley PTA." That got me giggling, and then she says, "The one where I don't sound so drunk." And then I was doubled over laughing.
She was so blitzed she couldn't recognize any part of the song.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 7:10 pm 
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I had a singer who could do any song in a kinda country / spoken word style. Even modern pop songs. Hated it at first, but got to admit I grew to kinda like it, at least respect how he made it sound like it was posible that is how the song went.

Felix the KJ
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 7:41 pm 
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I had a girl come up and ask if I had Peaceful Easy Feeling by Eagles. I said yes, I think so. So she said, "Let's hear it". I then thought she wanted it played as a DJ song, so I said "Sorry, someone has to sing it. -."

This held her off for a little while, then she came back up and said she wanted Peaceful Easy Feeling. I said, "Are you going to sing it?" She said no, so I told her to put the name of the singer on a slip and bring it back up. She left again, and after a while brought a slip up and finally it dawned on me -- she had put *my* name on it. I am quite a bit more Johnny Cash or Charley Pride than Glenn Frey, but I put it down two and did it for the first time ever.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:52 pm 
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I have had this said to me more than once.

"Do I need to know the song to sing it?"

and this one too -

"I'd like to sing so & so song, but I don't know the words"

I always have to take a breath and try not to laugh.

Oooh I like these too -

"Turn the music loud so no one hears me."

I'm asked when do they sing. I tell them they're up next. Then they ask "How long is that then?"

What? LMAO

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 11:55 pm 
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I have a guy who comes up and recites about 2-3 lines from a song -- or writes them on a slip, tells me he's pretty sure I know which song he's talking about. I said that he should look it up for me - he says he doesn't know how, that he doesn't know anything about alphabetical order. Lordy, lordy. He actually DID find a song for himself the other night.

His first slip: "drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry." Okay, I knew that one, but he really drives me crazy when he does this.

Oh, and "Will I be able to see the words?" Well, if you open your eyes, yes, and if you actually face one of the two screens you'll see the words.

"Do you have ..." Please, just look in the book.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 1:04 am 
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I once had to help a friend of mine look for a song..he said he wanted to sing "Smile" he didn't know the singer so I just entered the first song with the title...when it was his turn to sing, and the song was playing...he whispered "that's not my song.." I asked him what "smile" he was talking about and he sang the lyrics to me "Smile, an everlasting smile..." I just burst out laughing at my friend. He was looking for a Boyzone song..."Words"

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 3:35 am 
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Let me add to the mix :D :

"Hey! You're not playing it right!"

"Can you make me sound good?"

"Is this karaoke?"

"Those aren't the right words!"

"Is this the original version?"

"What key is it in?"

"Is this thing on?"

:rotflmao:

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 9:27 am 
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I forgot this one -
I was busy setting up a singer when a guy at the side of the stage was yelling to get my attention. I said just a minute and I'll be with you. He is very impatient and starts yelling at me again. I finally get over there a bit impatient with his attitude. when I ask him how I can help him, he says.

I'd like a bottle of beer. I start explaining how to look up songs and fill out a slips. You'd think I just murdered his best friend he gets so mad.

He was ordering a drink ! LMAO Sorry I'm not the bartender. See the guy behind the bar. That's the bartender. Dah !

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 5:34 pm 
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That's the best one Babs!

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 10:49 pm 
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Oh no, the one that kills me is the one who comes to the stage and blows really loud into the mic to see if it's on (while he spits all over it). I keep my sanitizer ready.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 7:34 am 
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I had a girl just last night get up to sing a Beyonce song (If I Were a Boy). She grabbed the mic and started looking all over it, flipping it around a few times. Turns to me and asks me, "Where's the ON switch."

I told her "it is always on, good mics don't have ON switches."

To which she replied (in her best diva voice as her song was starting), "I don't sing with mics that don't have ON switches," and she left the stage.

WTF?

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 8:50 am 
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woooah, now that's funny. Another "shining star."


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 10:19 am 
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LMAO How do these people function in real life. I wonder sometimes.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 10:26 am 
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TopherM @ July 9th 2009, 10:34 am wrote:
I had a girl just last night get up to sing a Beyonce song (If I Were a Boy). She grabbed the mic and started looking all over it, flipping it around a few times. Turns to me and asks me, "Where's the ON switch."

I told her "it is always on, good mics don't have ON switches."

To which she replied (in her best diva voice as her song was starting), "I don't sing with mics that don't have ON switches," and she left the stage.

WTF?


I guess I should just toss my SM58 Cordless mic since it has an ON/OFF switch???? Duh !!!


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 2:56 pm 
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TopherM @ Thu Jul 09, 2009 9:34 am wrote:
I had a girl just last night get up to sing a Beyonce song (If I Were a Boy). She grabbed the mic and started looking all over it, flipping it around a few times. Turns to me and asks me, "Where's the ON switch."

I told her "it is always on, good mics don't have ON switches."

To which she replied (in her best diva voice as her song was starting), "I don't sing with mics that don't have ON switches," and she left the stage.

WTF?


ahem,,, all my sm58 mics have on/off switches. I just tape them at the shows.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 4:50 am 
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Well MOST good mics don't have on/off switches. Cordless would certainly be an exception, as the on/off switch serves the purpose of maintaining the battery.

Either way, I use two corded SM58s, which are the mics that were just not quite good enough for this gal.....I think she wanted something from the VocoPro lineup...

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 6:50 am 
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1. WHAT SONG IS IT? (you wrote the ticket 10 minutes ago, WTF you asking me?)

2. Is that really you singing and playing the guitar? (no it's fricken Michael Jacksons ghost moonwalked all the way to this (@$%&#!) bar in Sydney Australia to make me look good)

3. My favourite was this guy who looked like the FONZ from Happy Days. He gave me his most pro vocalist look and asked if I have John Denvers Annie's Song. I said yes. His turn comes up - he swaggers to the mic, music starts, he is SO BAD- then he goes - THIS IS THE WRONG VERSION and he's really angry. He says he will bring his own disc next time. I hope he brings someone elses ear for music and a better voice as well. It's funny how the best singers are usually the ones who make the least fuss.

4. I will give you 50 bucks if you sing Amazing Grace because it reminds me of my mother.

5. Drunk Lady: CAN YOU PLAY 'RUNNING BEAR'?
ME: NO, sorry not a song I've heard.
Drunk Lady: Isn't that what you're paid for?! You should play what the customers ask for!
ME: (under my breath) How about I pay you to shut your drunk mouth BOITCH!


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 10:50 am 
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TopherM @ Fri Jul 10, 2009 6:50 am wrote:
Well MOST good mics don't have on/off switches. Cordless would certainly be an exception, as the on/off switch serves the purpose of maintaining the battery.

Either way, I use two corded SM58s, which are the mics that were just not quite good enough for this gal.....I think she wanted something from the VocoPro lineup...


I would have to agree, what does it matter to her? I chose to have the switch on mine (corded) for practice at home. Once at the show, I place a strip of blue painters tape around the switch.

Funny, one night I forgot to cover it and the entire night it wasn't an issue. Got lucky there!

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