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PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 7:59 am 
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Every time I read this thread title, it kind of throws me. If you don't actually put any stock at all into a compliment, you are insulting the giver to a degree -- even if you question the veracity of their statement ("Oh, you have the best sound!" "YOu have the best selection in the world", or whatever), you have to accept a compliment graciously. Grumble to yourself later that it wasn't true, or whatever - I'm not sure about the rest of you but when someone compliments me, I accept it graciously. Compliments are not meant to be a statement of the truth but rather a sentiment from the giver that they are grateful for what you have done for them or given them.

Maybe a better title for this thread would be "Do you believe or deserve the compliments that people give you?"


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 8:18 am 
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Karen K @ Fri Sep 04, 2009 9:59 am wrote:
Every time I read this thread title, it kind of throws me. If you don't actually put any stock at all into a compliment, you are insulting the giver to a degree -- even if you question the veracity of their statement ("Oh, you have the best sound!" "YOu have the best selection in the world", or whatever), you have to accept a compliment graciously. Grumble to yourself later that it wasn't true, or whatever - I'm not sure about the rest of you but when someone compliments me, I accept it graciously. Compliments are not meant to be a statement of the truth but rather a sentiment from the giver that they are grateful for what you have done for them or given them.

Maybe a better title for this thread would be "Do you believe or deserve the compliments that people give you?"


I think everyone is in agreeance with you. I appreciate a compliment. I just don't let it go to my head. I think that is what most people are trying to convey.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 8:27 am 
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When there are heads in the audience bobbing and the energy level is maxing out with party goers and the owner has a big grin on his face along with all the other drunks and people are cheering about anything then when somebody says good show or good job then I take it as a true compliment and it picks me up.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 9:48 am 
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Karen K @ Fri Sep 04, 2009 9:59 am wrote:
Every time I read this thread title, it kind of throws me. If you don't actually put any stock at all into a compliment, you are insulting the giver to a degree -- even if you question the veracity of their statement ("Oh, you have the best sound!" "YOu have the best selection in the world", or whatever), you have to accept a compliment graciously. Grumble to yourself later that it wasn't true, or whatever - I'm not sure about the rest of you but when someone compliments me, I accept it graciously. Compliments are not meant to be a statement of the truth but rather a sentiment from the giver that they are grateful for what you have done for them or given them.

Maybe a better title for this thread would be "Do you believe or deserve the compliments that people give you?"


Hey Karen, I actually chose the title carefully because of what you mention above. There are varying degrees of "stock" that you may put into those compliments. I doubt anyone totally dismisses the compliments, regardless of why they come they are a sign that you're doing your job properly. You're making people happy. I seriously doubt anyone gets a compliment from someone that isn't meant to be genuine.

What I was getting at is does it stop there or how many people actually believe that because they've been told they have the best selection of songs, or the best audio quality, or whatever they actually do have the best selection, audio or whatever. My suspicion (and thus far it seems to be confirmed) is that we all get those compliments and that they are wonderful to receive but they shouldn't be over-estimated. They are not evidence that your show is "the best" (a bizarre statement anyway) or that your rig is somehow superior or whatnot.

I'll come right out and say it, if you believe the "hype" and rest on that, then you're sorely mistaken. I firmly believe that the best shows are those put on by hosts who know they have things they can work on to improve and are constantly striving to do so. Those who would rest on their laurels will be the first to alienate those big crowds that make them feel so accomplished in the first place. Personally, I'm always looking for ways to improve my show, I have a good idea of where my weaknesses are and I constantly work to strengthen them. I would never dream of using the compliments I receive to compare myself to another KJ as that would be totally foolish, especially since I know they're getting the same compliments from their patrons.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 9:57 am 
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Karen K @ Fri Sep 04, 2009 10:59 am wrote:
Every time I read this thread title, it kind of throws me. If you don't actually put any stock at all into a compliment, you are insulting the giver to a degree


Oh I always smile and say thank you, but receiving flattering compliments just means I've done my job and made someone happy. 'Taint no big thang at all.

My favorite author put it another way: "Money is the sincerest form of flattery. Women love to be flattered. So do men."

Throw money at me, honey! Just don't put to much pepper on the silver.

:2cents:

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 9:59 am 
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You are right Tony. I am always listening for comments positive or negative to improve what we are doing. I know the difference between genuine compliments and lip service. BTW I would lots rather have a genuine compliment about our show than applause or a compliment about my singing.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 10:41 am 
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I'll come right out and say it, if you believe the "hype" and rest on that, then you're sorely mistaken.

Hype? If you are aware of the shows around you, in the area most traveled by your regular singers, and have witnessed first hand that the new KJs being hired by the pirates really have no clue about mixing sound; that they are given half the equipment they need and don't really know how to use what they have; the host has no idea about the different manufacturers and the quality they produce; the host doesn't know their head from a post hole when it comes to latest releases or the old standards, how is it considered hype when I'm the polar opposite of these guys and people compliment me for the above reasons?

If we are so obtuse as to believe that there isn't room to grow as the needs and demands of our gigs change, then I don't believe that the comments or compliments made by the patrons or our followers truly make much difference in the overall picture. You and I both know what it takes to reproduce good sound and the equipment it takes to do that; we know how to twist the knobs to do it right; we have a pretty good idea of quality regarding song selection, etc., etc. I am more apt to place stock in the suggestions by a sound tech, for example -- I had one present judging at one of my shows last night and he had nothing to add -- in fact complimented me on my mixing abilities; I laugh, suggested all I really have to do is balance music and voice, and tweak the voices. He still complimented me, loved the sound, said it made his job easy.

I think patrons compliment us in a different way and most of them have very little or no knowledge at all about what it takes to do our job - especially if we are having fun and make it look very easy (the key here). So in that respect, take it for what it is - you give them a nice feeling about their singing experience. Still a major part of the job - this is a people business, not a 100% technical business, either right or wrong...so I guess I place 100% stock in their compliments because I'm doing the people part of it right. The rest of it? I'll depend on someone else's opinion to tell me what I am or am not doing right. So far so good, though. Not many systems I like to song on other than my own.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 4:25 pm 
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BruceFan4Life @ Thu Sep 03, 2009 5:14 pm wrote:
Real bar karaoke is an awful lot like the singer showcase. Anyone giving an honest negative crtique will be shunned. People learn real fast that it is the path of least resistance to just throw out over the top compliments in hopes of getting something positive in return. If you told the KJ that his system sucked, he might ban you from his show. If you told him that his filler music was causing people to leave because they wanted to sing more, he might tell you; "if you don't like it, leave". If you complained about his rotation policy, he might just misplace your song slip. However, if you tell the KJ that he is the best thing since sliced bread, you just might get on his good side and possibly it could earn you some "special" treatment every now and then. My mom used to like the expression; "you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar". When someone hires you to do a private party, then you can believe that they truly like the way you do your thing. Karaoke bars are loaded with people who like to offer up undeserved compliments. I've seen the worst singer in the bar receive a standing ovation. It's like cheering for a little kid who has no ability whatsoever but people want to try and build up their self esteem by applauding ridiculously for him or her. Then the kid grows up and tries out for American Idol and is crushed when Simon Cowell has the nerve to tel the kid the truth for the first time in his or her life. America sits in front of the tube laughing their collective As$e$ off for 3 or 4 weeks while these auditions are televised. If someone would have been honest with these talentless individuals right from the start, they wouldn't have to get embarrassed in front of millions of people. I'd rather a close family member tell me that I should find a new hobby or at least be honest enough to tell me that I shouldn't go anywhere near the American Idol auditions. Some people can eventually improve at certain activities... like bowling or darts or singing. Some people have absolutely NO CHANCE of EVER getting better at a given activity. If I sucked at something, I would want a friend to tell me that maybe a different activity might be more rewarding for me. DIPLOMACY for example is probably not a field that I would do very well in and I would want a friend of mine to point that out to me if I was ever trying to get a job at the United Nations. Sometimes honesty is a good thing, even if it isn't what someone wants to hear at a particular time.


Bruce, truest thing I've ever heard from you. "DIPLOMACY for example is probably not a field that I would do very well in "

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 8:25 pm 
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Karen based on your response I think you and I actually agree on this but you're misunderstanding the point I was trying to make (because you basically made the same point in your response). So rather than try to reword it, let me just say I agree with you and feel the same way.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 11:24 pm 
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Deal. Exhausted, 3 nights in a row, big finals last night...sleeping in on Saturday. WOOHOOO.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 12:46 am 
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If someone is offering a compliment it usually comes from the heart.

Buy then again as a KJ, i lie to everyone all night long with a straight face. That was really good Mary. Excellent job Bob. I really liked that Marge. :angel:


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 5:50 am 
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I use those same types of comments. But if I truly enjoyed a particular performance, I will look them up in the bar afterwards and tell them.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 1:14 pm 
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i personally believe every word they say...i now understand the word YOU SUCK in 14 different language's 32 different hand signals....and on a good night i can get my weeks veggies from those thrown at me......i even won a YOU SUCK tee shirt once....yes its a gift....never said it was a good one


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 2:20 pm 
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ok What Now @ Sat Sep 05, 2009 4:14 pm wrote:
i personally believe every word they say...i now understand the word YOU SUCK in 14 different language's 32 different hand signals....and on a good night i can get my weeks veggies from those thrown at me......i even won a YOU SUCK tee shirt once....yes its a gift....never said it was a good one


You and Diafel are now on my KILL List.... LMFAOAMPM!!!!


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 2:35 pm 
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LMAO You guys crack me up.

I try not to lie when giving compliments. That was special or that was different usually means you better not quit your day job.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 2:50 pm 
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cueball @ Sat Sep 05, 2009 3:20 pm wrote:
ok What Now @ Sat Sep 05, 2009 4:14 pm wrote:
i personally believe every word they say...i now understand the word YOU SUCK in 14 different language's 32 different hand signals....and on a good night i can get my weeks veggies from those thrown at me......i even won a YOU SUCK tee shirt once....yes its a gift....never said it was a good one


You and Diafel are now on my KILL List.... LMFAOAMPM!!!!

Thanks for the warning.
I'll keep a look out over my shoulder.


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