Karaoke Forums

REQUESTING A SONG
When requesting a song at Karaoke, don't bother using the "normal" available modes of requesting a song, such as books and slips. Those are for *other* people. Just go up to the host and say, "put this song in for me." They'll be more than glad to help. Don't forget to add things like "The crowd has requested I do this song...NOW," and "I'm in a band." Then tell the host the story about the last time you sang the song, and how much everyone loved it and asked you for an encore. Also, the host knows every song available, so feel free to be vague -- we love the challenge. The first name of the artist or a few words in the middle of the song will be more than enough for us to figure out what song you're talking about. You can even hum a few bars. After you make your request, go back to the host after every song to find of when you will be called. They like this. They get lonely when they are standing there all by themselves and love it when you come to visit.

TALKING WITH THE HOST
The best time to discuss anything with the host is either while they're talking over the microphone or in the middle of singing a song. Our hearing is so advanced that we can pick out your tiny voice from the
megawatt wall of sound blasting all around us. And we can converse with you in sign language while singing the song, so don't worry that we're in the middle of the chorus. Don't be fooled. Hosts have the innate ability to answer questions and sing at the same time. If the host doesn't answer your
questions immediately, regardless of how stupid the question may seem, it's because they are purposely ignoring you. If this happens, immediately cop an attitude. We love this.

HELPING
When it's not your turn and someone else is singing a song you know you can really rock, feel free to go up and either grab their microphone or the extra one that the host has. Believe me, the singer will really appreciate your help. If you can't pry the microphone from the singer or the host doesn't have an extra one (or won't give you one because they're jealous that you are far more talented than they are), then stand directly next to the singer, on the stage, and scream the song out at the top of your lungs. If you're too drunk to stand unassisted, simply lean on one of the speakers, the T.V. stand or the host's system.

SINGING YOUR SONG
When you are called up to sing your song, make sure that you are the focal point of everyone's attention. Stand on a table or chair, or dance around the bar with the microphone, making sure that everyone has an opportunity to experience the intimate feeling of being in the front row for your personal concert. Don't forget to yell at the host to give you more echo. The more, the better...and don't forget to ask the host to turn up your microphone as loud as possible. The people on the next block have a right to hear you sing, too. Anything less would be unfair. When the host doesn't turn you up loud enough, be sure to scream into the microphone at the top of your lungs, otherwise no one will hear what a great singer you are. Hearing is over-rated anyhow. The crowd will love it. By the way, the drunker you are, the better you sound, and the louder you should sing. It also helps if you stand right in front of the speakers.

When you're done with your song, don't forget to shout out profanities and throw the mic on the ground to show everyone that you are just like a real rock star. You will definitely make an impression.

The next day, you will have agents will be calling you for their latest recording project.

This one just amazes me. People actually think that they are being polite by waiting to talk to me after a singer is done. Of course when someone is singing is when I want them to discuss something with me, not when I'm trying to get the next singer up and dialed in. But that's the time many people approach me.

I haven't figured out a slick way to deal with this yet but am open to suggestions.

I know which sign I would use...it's very to the point.

I maybe dum singur but me think he being sarkastic

I laughed so hard reading this post. Oh, how many times I have thought the same things and said them myself. I think I'll print your post and distribute it to some of my regulars. And I am the queen of sarcasm. I don't think I could have said it better myself. I have never read anything on the forum quite as entertaining. Thank you for this light-hearted, funny as s#*$ post!!

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It's called Karaoke Therapy...

The people that do everything right might read this and change their ways.

Me too

I just love when a singer yells the "F" word as loud as possible over the mic, so everyone is sure to notice them. I am so happy when this happens I immediately give them a free vacation to their bar stool.

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[shadow=pink][glow=deepskyblue]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

One way tickie....

Oh, and I will ask in a very serious tone of voice, did they really think that everyone wanted to hear you do that? If I know the crowd, I'll ask them to put up their hands if they liked it - 9 times out of 10 people just groan. You want attention? I'll give you attention.

Oooh karen - I love that. I may have to steal that idea.

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[shadow=pink][glow=deepskyblue]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

Have at it.

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