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Every once in a while I'll get people who want to talk someone into singing and come to me for back up. They've come to the wrong person. I'm a true believer that if you truly don't want to sing you shouldn't feel bullied into it.

This happened Wednesday night. The girl absolutely did NOT want to sing. Her friend was insisting on it saying she'd sing with her. She came to me on the side and said please don't call me up. She explained she really enjoys listening to other people sing that is why she comes. She doesn't need to sing. I told her not to worry I'd take care of it. When I called her friend up to sing she said, wait where is so & so. Before I could explain her friend simply left.

I liken this scenario to people who don't drink. Your friends think your not having a good time unless you join in. They mean well, but don't understand your just having a good time being there.

There is a difference between being scaried and needing encouragement, and just not wanting to sing all. I wish more people would realize this.

Sorry just venting a bit.

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Nobody sings unless they want to.

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Good music, good friends, howling good times!

If someone asks me not to call them up - I don't. If they don't ask & I call their name, then they get the chance to decide (even if their friends are trying to pull them out of their chair) & if they say no/absolutely not, I go to the next singer.

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Exactly right Babs, I have a phobia of getting in front of people and speaking and karaoke was about the same. I love singing though, and I always wished I could go up there, so my brother kept encouraging me and then he finally said " look, it ain't life or death, it's just singing, get over it " and I did. It did take a year or so before I finally sang. I still get a couple of butterflies now and then especially at a different venue but once I start they usually go away. Rudy.

I've seen one person that was pushed into singing. Tough song, Martina's "Broken Wing". The girl was a bit quiet and not happy about singing and did ok from my memory, but no, not really a singer. But you could tell she felt bad and the 4 of them left shortly there after. I was gonna give her kudos because I sensed her discomfort, but by the time I got back in the bar they were gone. It's my assumption that they left because of this.

So I'd say never have a forced singer. She was fine before that.

Had a gal last night that did it for her first time, absolutely was saying she didn't know why & her friends were daring her - so not exactly a force & she did get up of her own accord, but don't think she would have otherwise. She did Bonnie Raitt - I Can't Make You Love Me, she got through most of it, but was absolutely terrified on stage & actually did it well, but she was very happy to be done.

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I feel the same way when someone puts in a song slip for someone else. "Oh, Karen wants to sing this song". You never know if it is legit or not and they expect YOU to somehow convince this person to do it.

I don't. If I think a slip may be a "gotcha", I call it once and if the person doesn't come up quickly, I move on. If they don't want to sing, fine...but I am certainly not going to beg/badger someone.

And if someone stands there and says "I have to wait for so & so"...I give em 5-10 seconds and start the song anyway. If someone is REALLY going to come join their friend, starting the song will get their butt moving fast!

The only time I might play it up & do a little embarrassment begging is for a birthday or some other even like that - but still won't force it if they don't come.

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LIKE Lonman on Facebook - Lonman Productions Karaoke & my main site via my profile!

I strongly encourage new people to sing. I even go round during songs and ask people what they are planning on singing. If I detect something approaching interest, I will stay on them a bit for a while, trying to stop before the point of annoyance. I have claimed several cherryokes that way. But if they look like they aren't going to come round, I drop it.

I don't let someone else put in a slip for another. Period.

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[color=#ffff55]Mickey J.[/color]
Alas for those who never sing, but die with all their music in them.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

In this particular situation, I would have not put the slip in at all. If it was intended as a duet (real one or not) with the girl who didn't want to sing (and it seems it was), then it's no different than putting a slip in for someone else without their permission, even if the other singer is willing.
I've had a few like that, who put in a slip with the person's knowledge, but then that person will come up to me on the side afterward and ask me not to call them. When I assure them that I absolutely will never ask them to sing without their permission, and let them watch me toss the slip, the look of relief and gratefulness on their face is something else.
If the other person comes up later and asks, I will just tell it to them straight: If you want to sing, then that's fine, but you need to give me a slip with ONLY YOUR name on it, or at least with another name of someone who's willing to sing.
But it hasn't happened yet. Once I toss the slip, the other person never comes up and asks where it went. I can only assume that the unwilling singer has told them what happened to it.
I will sometimes take the opportunity to remind the whole crowd over the mic not to put up songs without the other person's permission.
I will never nag someone to sing if they are adamant about it. However, I have had some that seem like they MAY want to, but just need a little extra encouragement. With those people, I will "work" on them a little, but like mckyj57, I drop it if the interest is not there. I have also claimed quite a few cherryokes that way and have even created a few monsters/addicts!

That's one of my show rules. Occasionally I'll call someone whose name is on the slip and they come up on stage bewildered because someone else put it in for them. My rule: If the singer can't tell me the name of the song on the slip - regardless if they want to sing it - I call the next singer. Usually it's the person's girlfriend who picks some embarrassing boy band song or ballad which results in the singer fumbling and ad libbing through 4 minutes of stage time. My show is for people who want to sing to request their own songs and sing them...not to be the butt of a goof or laugh for their friends.

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[font=Lucida Console]DangerousKaraoke.com[/font]
[font=Lucida Console]"Sing for the day, sing for the moment, sing for the time of your life!"[/font]

I agree with everyone here, but on the flip side, here is my story. I'd never done Karaoke before, but I always secretly wanted to. I was 29 yo out with some friends talking about whether or not I should do it, as usual, only talking. But the girl I was with saw the song I had been fretting about (a Ratt song) and put me in. When I heard my name called I was stricken with fright, but excitement. I went ahead and tried it.... I sucked but it was fun! But I do agree with everyone here, although I don't MAKE anyone sing, I will cajole them if I think they secretly want to, like I did! I know you really want to lay it down, RIGHT NOW....

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I have a story similar to Ham. I had gotten the nerve to try it on my own and was in the so horrible it was funny category. I usually would work up a parody and make a show out of my songs and only participate once every 6 months or so as comedy relief. I had about 3 songs I could do.

When we moved I put in a song just to participate. Well, with this particular hostess, once you are in the rotation you are never allowed out. She is so nice about wanting you to put in a song that you feel rude if you don't. She persisted and I started learning new songs and practicing more in self defense. Now people are fooled into thinking I can sing.

This is what I do as well. I ALWAYS ask people who come in and sit down if they're interested in singing...and what they'd like to sing. Many at my shows just come to listen to the singers but occasionally someone will hem and haw a little...and I persist.

I agree people who put songs in for others without them knowing is irritating. I think you handle it well.

This was one of my regulars who already had a spot in the rotation. I knew if the other girl wouldn't sing she'd still take her turn regardless.

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[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

I totally think it is part of our job to encourage singers and have helped many nonsingers become singers also. I love it when I have people sing at my show for the first time.

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[shadow=pink][glow=deepskyblue]. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
[updown]~*~ MONKEY BUSINESS KARAOKE~*~ [/shadow][/updown][/glow]

So HOW does one encourage guests to sing? I will jokingly ask if they wanna sing, or smile and say "did ya find one yet?" or "so what are ya gonna sing?" but with their scared reactions or a no nod shake, i give up!

I guess i am afraid of pushing too hard and making them feel uncomfortable and they might leave.

How do the better hosts do it? Persuede non-singer to sing in one evening? I am good at slowly working someone over time becasue they keep coming back and it's easy to tell they need/want an extra kick in the pants and that'll get them up. A first-timer...and i'm at a loss on what to do!

I may not qualify as one of "the better hosts" but seem to have the most success on a slower night when people aren't as intimidated by a crowd. We have a few who have dared to try on a slow night and they still will only sing when it thins out. We turn slow nights into singer recruitment nights and get people up in pairs or for group songs and a few have eventually gone on to solo. We have a few who love to help on a chorus with their friend but won't do lead. But at least they get to participate.

We just got the bar tendress up for the no-way- to-fail song, "Tequila."

Oh--have been to a few karaoke shows that were just starting out and they offered a free drink to anyone who would sing in the first round. In my "i'm not a singer" days I got up myself for that one. Maybe one could have a nightly give away for the first regular non-singer who wants to give it a try.

encouraging people to get up is certainly a big part of our job, but it has to be done with a little finesse. That may include "backing up" the newbie, a good song suggestion, or what have you. I think we all get a kick out of bringing someone "into the fold" so to speak.

That said, there is a big difference between that and forcing someone who genuinely doesn't want to get up and sing, to sing.

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Good music, good friends, howling good times!

I always remind people that in most bars, 90% of Karaoke is alcohol related. Do a shot of Tequila and throw caution to the wind.

Also the "group sing" is a great way to get the wallflowers out of their seats. Have their more outgoing friends sing one of the "Karaoke Top 10" and have them go up with them. Sweet Caroline, Buttercup, Don't stop believing, etc.