Karaoke Forums

Some odd bits I remember from my shows...

1. "Our friend xxx sings so well and she's single" *wink* *wink* from a bunch of very very pretty ladies. If only I wasn't married...

2. Offer of a very large tip to sing Amazing Grace for a legless drunks dead mother.

3. An older regular, who comes up every week tells me how good I am in my ear with alcohol strong on her breath all the while resting her right bosom on my left shoulder and rubbing my back up and down. I haven't washed my shoulder to this day.

4. Can you sing Humpty Dumpty?

Anyone else have stories?

1. A woman who waited for 45 minutes to sing Truly Madly Deeply and then spun round on stage continually, holding the mic perfectly, but not singing at all for the duration of the song.
2. A encore demanded for "Pour some sugar on me", and ALL the customers standing on chairs and tables whilst they headbanged along.
3. A bar owner smashing every ashtray he could find five minutes after the smoking ban came in, cursing the government whilst he did so.
4. A customer with the radio mic wandering into the toilet mid song, and then asking (over the mic) "where's the ******* telly gone?"
5. A singer in a rough bar asking people to put their football thoughts to one side and then singing "Your'll never walk alone" in memory of his best friend who died the same week. Everyone stood up in respect.
6. Refusing to let a semi-famous person sing, because they walked in 15 minutes before the end of the show and rotation was full. (I enjoyed that one!!! they actually understood, their friends not so).
7. A whole bar singing Bridge over troubled water, hugging each other whilst they did so.
8. My partner singing "Mr policeman" (which isn't well know over here either) as a copper walked into the venue
9. Finding a packed karaoke, with 36 songs, and stereo speakers on a rare night out.
10. A customer in a wheelchair singing "walking away" by David Gray
11. Arguing for ten minutes with a customer that they couldn't propose over the microphone. She couldn't see why I was being so mean and unromantic, I couldn't get her to understand that we finished 30 minutes ago the and equipment was now in the car.
12. The three times in 12 years we've recieved extra in our pay packet for a good night
13. A gentleman regularly singing "Gold" spandau ballet, and pronoucing indestructible as indeee-strup-ta-d-ible
14. A bar manager getting everyone in a bar to the stage, so they could dance to "Music man" Black lace.
15. Having everyone in the bar decided telepathically that they all wanted to do the actions to the "wheels on the bus" as a drunk man sang with gusto.

Don't have anything nearly as good as the two above but once saw a man keep bringing out a chair to use as a dance partner.

Had a guy propose marriage to his girlfriend and after she accepted he sang her "Freebird." Have to think about the lyrics to know why that is strange.

When one regular sang "Figured you out" by Nickelback, another rather crazy regular acted out the lyrics...starting with "I like your pants around your feet".

We now refer to May 14th as "The night Cindy took her pants off".

Aug 28th a year ago, which happened to also be my daughter's birthday, was an unforgettable night. While I was singing "Don't Stop Believing"(my daughter's request for her birthday), 3 separate fights broke out simultaneously, resulting in the best bar fight I've ever seen, bar none, even in the movies. Drinks were flying across the room and smashing on the the brick work on the walls. I had to duck to avoid a few myself. .
People were getting tossed over the few tables that still had customers sitting at them while said customers smacked them with purses , karaoke books, or anything else handy to try and get them to fight elsewhere. Turned out the whole bar ended up being involved, except me. I never missed a note.
Amazingly, no one was seriously hurt. Indeed, there was no visible blood at all and none of my equipment was damaged, but I found a half full beer laying on it's side inside my pole stand case without a drop being spilled inside!
Thank goodness it was nearly the end of the night, because the bar pretty much cleared out right after that.
Like I said, best bar fight EVER!

I have never had the privelege of witnessing a bar fight in my 30 years on the planet. I always wondered if they were like bar fights in the movies.

Are they?

Generally not. Unfortunately, I've witnessed many over the years, and usually they're pretty boring.
In fact, the one I just described was the closest I've ever seen, but even the movies couldn't have scripted this one. Best one in the movies IMHO was Roadhouse and "my" bar fight far surpassed it.

it's that darned Canadian beer!

Oh, do you mean our "real" beer, and not that colored water the Americans think passes for beer?
You got THAT right!

I'll put Sam Adams or Fat Tire up against Molson or LaBatts ANY day of the week.

It's not Molson. It's Canadian.

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KingBing Entertainment C'mon Up! I have a song for you!!! [font=MS Sans Serif][/font]

And it's not Labatt's. It's Blue (amongst others). Hehe

Beer?

Ah now I'm thinking about the Monty Python joke...

Why is American beer like having sex in a canoe...
















It's F***ing close to water!

Hahaha!
I love it when Americans come up and down a few of our beers. Knocks 'em on their azzes!

We used to pay about $3 for a case (12 bottles) and just get whacked out of our minds on 6-8 beers. I think a case is now about $25? I can get people to pay for my trip up to BC if I will stop at duty free and pick up brewskies and ciggies for them. Crazy expensive! (Cloverdale Pub, rodeo time on the May long weekend, 25 cents for a pilsener glass of beer...25 cents!) But I love my beer. Lucky Lager, Blue, Kokkanee....woohooo! Think I'll go crack open a cold one right now.

Lucky and Blue have fallen out of favour. It's now Kokanee, Bud(not American Bud!), Keith's and Sleeman's Honey Brown...
I'm violently allergic to beer, but I can tell you whether it's good or not and what it tastes like by smelling it. (years of bartending)

And likewise, only those who don't like beer you can TASTE drink Bud/Miller/Coors here in the states. The craft beer selection these days at most bars is tremendous.

My favorite - Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA - (LINK)

And I agree that Sleeman's makes excellent beers. Of course the best way to get good beer is to brew your own. 10 gallons of ale fermenting away in the basement as we speak. Thank you Jimmy Carter for doing at least one thing right!

I don't normally drink but if I do want a beer it cannot be anything like budwiser. I end up having a sneezing fit everytime. I have to have something similar to guiness. That is about the only "beer" that I can drink anymore with sneezing.

On the fight part thou, I sell eggs sometimes (and have for about a year now) and one night I had sold some (about 8 doz or so) and then left about 1 am or so. Well it seems not long after we left someone got upset about something that did not happen that they thought did and well the bar ended up with eggs ALL over. The owner could not figure out how the eggs got all over until someone ratted me out as the one that sold them, . I am not allowed to give the people eggs until right before they leave anymore, .

Budweiser is actually more rice than barley...that's how they get it practically clear. Perhaps you have a rice allergy? Guinness Stout is ALL malted & darkly roasted Barley with no adjuncts like rice, which makes sense.