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And so now unfortunately you've proven to be exactly what many of us expected you would be, the dad who can't see that his daughter could possibly be anything but the most talented human to walk the face of the earth. A great attitude to have as a father, I mean that. Every parent should be that proud of their kids. However, when you ask outside observers for their opinions (either at a contest or on a message board like this) you're going to find that you'll get their honest opinions and rarely will it match up with your estimations.

And unfortunately when that occurred you acted in the predictable fashion that would have been expected of any stereotypical parent in your situation. You got hostile, vulgar and arrogant. I can tell you right now, if you don't teach that little girl how to handle rejection and realize that rejection isn't unfair and instead is merely a part of life and a part of the process that you must work through, then she'll never have any success. There are hundreds of thousands of talented singers out there. The ones that make it not only have the complete package (looks, personality, vocal talent, etc) they're also the ones that have the tenacity to work through rejection and fight for their dream. Those that feel sorry for themselves, assume they were being unfairly discriminated against or simply assume that those rejecting them must be idiots, are not the ones that make it in this industry. You're trying hard to help her build a career but the irony is your efforts (at least in this case) are doing more to hurt her chances than help.

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DJ Tony
Let It Rip Karaoke

I think some of you have it wrong. I think Kevin (justadad) has all the proper intentions for his daughter. But Bruce, true to his nature, DID attack Kevin as a dad. I would have done the same thing, and so would ALL of you. He is showing he cares about his daughter and her career. I do think tho, by him attacking back was not the proper response.

Kevin, if you read this, take the positive feedback and just smile. Take the criticism for exactly what it is, and weigh what has been offered as help. I for one, think you have an incredibly talented daughter. She isn't a "finished or polished" performer yet, that will come in time. But the talent is definitely there. I think the people who post negative remarks probably never even watched the videos of her singing. I did. She is terrific! But, I do have to agree with some of what has been said. She needs the proper training in order for her to obtain the "finished or polished" level. She is on her way tho. I doubt very much that a "dad" has an objective view of the situation, to make all the correct decisions. So my advise is to find someone who CAN make those decisions for the both of you. Just make sure that person has the best interests for her, and not you. She is young and very mold-able still, so find a person that you can trust fully. They will become more like a part of your family.

To Bruce and the others who make ill remarks towards Kevin's posts. I really wish you guys could hold your tongues, you make me wanna become the person I hope I never become. Take a look at her videos, she is a terrific little singer. You will eat your words. Is she the complete package? I dunno, she is 11 and has to grow into her own yet. But I think Kevin (justadad) has every right to say what he has said.

Don't worry about a thing. I called my mother, and she's on the way down here to straighten this place out.

I would hope the moderators would realize that people can, occasionally, blow up over something that they feel passionate about. The fact that this thread has not (yet) deteriorated into a flame war tells me that the maturity level is adequate.

-denise

I would be the last one to censure anyone for expressing an opinion. I've been known to express one from time to time. But profanity and personal attacks are uncalled for.

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[color=#ffff55]Mickey J.[/color]
Alas for those who never sing, but die with all their music in them.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

I heard her, she truly is talented. Dad, just listen to all advice and do what's best for Savannah. This is, after all, all about her.

Being an adult, you know first impressions are very important, so remember that whenever the next opportunity for your daughter comes along. She needs to be dressed appropriately for an 11 year old. Her voice will always dazzle. If she's had zero training, get her into it asap so she doesn't hurt her vocals.

Most of all, she should have fun! You only get to live your childhood once. Good luck!

I'm not sure if any of this was directed at me, but I can see how some might interpret what I said as negative so I just want to be clear on a few points. First, I have no dobut that Justadad has his daughter's best interests at heart. However, unfortunately he's falling into the same trap that many parents in this situation do. He's so blinded by his desire to help her succeed that he isn't thinking objectively. He isn't seeing how his behavior is actually counter-productive and that's what I was trying to point out. This is why managers/agents exist, and I think your suggestion about finding someone to fill that role is a good one.

I too watched the video and this little girl has a ton of talent. I'd love to see her name in lights and maybe be mixing for her at a 15,000 seat venue some day. That's why I'm concerned about a parent that seems to be falling into this trap. I seriously hope that he can see that and understand that sometimes you just have to let things go. Demanding explanations for why your daughter didn't win paints you (and vicariously her) in a bad light whether you're justified or not. Just like losing a sports game or anything else, what you need to do is learn what you can from the experience, maybe incorporate changes based off that and come back next time with even more determination and enthusiasm. That's what breeds success in highly elite and competitive fields. Complaining or arguing about rejection does no good.

I wish dad and his daughter all the luck and success in the world. I hope you'll take what's been said here to heart sir. While much of it may seem harsh, I assure you most here have a genuine desire to help. And above all else, no matter what happens, remember she is just a kid so don't forget to let her be one. If she decides she doesn't like singing anymore or chooses a different career path, she'll do great. I know you already know this, but it can never hurt to hear it again.

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DJ Tony
Let It Rip Karaoke

Thanks Tony, for adding to what I tried to convey. That is exactly what I am trying to say to Kevin. Good luck Kevin and by all means, keep us posted on what is going on in her life and yours. From my stand point, she is destined for greatness.

I feel that a singing competition should be based on talent, NOT appearence. It's not about "flash and trash", it's about the vocals coming out of your mouth.

Case in point:

My 21 year old neice recently tried out for american idol. She's very pretty, she's taken acting, singing, and dancing. She is so talented and has won several beauty pagents. And her singing is beautiful. (look out Carrie Underwood)

And do you know what the judges told her:

"you're good honey, but we've seen your look a thousand times". So, even though she sang great, because she looked too pretty, was dressed professionally, she was rejected. Yet, they put through a contestent in a Wonder Woman costume who had no talent whatsoever.

If it was me, I would tear the judge apart. Like I said, let's judge talent on talent.

Also...

Every day, hundreds of wanna be actors/actresses go on auditions in NYC. Many of them share apartments because they can't afford the rent, work several jobs to make ends meet and can't really afford to buy nice clothes. They're hoping that their talent is enough to land them that big break. If the part calls for a singer, it should be based on your singing, if it's for a dancer, then it should be based on your dancing.

What if you were listening to radio and heard someone that you just couldn't believe how good he/she was. You had no idea who it was but definately wanted to buy their CD. So, you go to the store, find the CD and notice that the picture of this person was, well...kind of looked scruffy with not the nicest clothes. Actually his/her appearence was terrible. But wait! Would that matter? Would that stop you from buying this CD? Of course not, you wanted it because of how this person made you feel when listening to their singing. It should not be about appearence.
I rest my case.

Alan I agree it shouldn't be about appearance but the fact of the matter is we as consumers have made it about appearance as much as anything else. In the case of American Idol, they see thousands of talented singers, but they are searching for the one that can be a superstar. To find that they have to consider the whole package. Appearance, personality, even your life history can all be points that make or break an artist. If consumers would accept an ugly fat artist the same way they accept a hot little number with the same vocals, then this wouldn't be an issue. But the fact is, consumers are drawn to appearance and high profile story lines.

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DJ Tony
Let It Rip Karaoke

Also in the case of American Idol, they prequalifying rounds aren't all about getting the best singer, it's a show - they actually WANT some weirdos for the 'judges' to reject & bash on. Where would the show be without them? In the 'real world' someone like William Hung would have never made it to the auditions - take that to heart! They were looking for the 'joke' factor in that case.

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LIKE Lonman on Facebook - Lonman Productions Karaoke & my main site via my profile!

Sort of off the track but I have been thinking about how having a singing career has come down to winning a contest in alot of young people's eyes. They think that is how it is done. Can't tell you how many contests, including an American Idol tryout, my boyfriend's son has gone through. Kids think that they will somehow wow with their wonderfulness and then someone will take them and groom them and make them a star. He turned down the offer of a singing job in our Hell Hole to go enter a contest.

He keeps coming in second or only making it through a certain amount of levels but finally he has knuckled down and got a band and is playing wherever they can get. I hope they develope skills for connecting and moving a crowd and create their own personality and image rather than trying to be what they thought the judges wanted. Alot of the American Idol successfuls had been playing clubs long before they ever entered the contest. They paid their dues and learned how to perform and are driven by their own idea of what they want to do with their creativity.

If someone is going to leave it up to contest judges to make or break them, it will probably only work for one in millions. The rest are going to have to work their you know whats off to become someone. A contest can be good for exposure but the winner is not always the one who makes it in the long run. Anyone who thinks they can be elevated to the top just on thier own wonderfulness and ignore all of the other elements like showmanship, etc. will probably be disappointed.

Again, this is not aimed specifically at anyone. Just commenting on how the contest mentality has become such a big influence these days.

It's me again.
When I came on here, I had a legitimate question. I shared what details that I was comfortable sharing, and thought that would be enough to get a good unbiased opinion. I was immediately told how 'average' my daughter was, and that she was 'nothing special', etc. Unfortunately, this took me way off track. I was a bit confused, and quite offended. However, after re-reading the posts, I realized that i had lots of details that i hadn't shared.
* When Savannah qualified, ALL of the judges waited for the other contestants to leave, and they approached me and we were told "we really think she is going to win the whole show". We were even given 'advice' on having Savannah "look at the judges more". We were also told (by the judges)...one of them said, "I was soo blown away by her performance, that the only way to keep myself from screaming and yelling (cause we are supposed to be biased) was to give her a standing ovation"..etc etc.
* One of the TV shows affiliated w/this 'contest' pulled us aside and even booked themselves, and us, to be there for Savannah's performance in the Semi Finals, and the following finals.
* I had phone conversations w/various people involved in this "contest" and they were all saying that Savannah was a 'no brainer' for the winner, and that they 'just don't get singers like her' etc. Remember, these are the folks that know exactly who they have in the contest and the level of their talent. We were even working out our schedules together..etc.
* The night before the show, Savannah was sick, so we debated on her not going at all, but I told her that "all of the other people, including the TV show etc., were counting on her", and were going to be there because of her...(as that was what they told me.)
* Then we get there and she doesn't even make the top 5, and we are told that it was because of her APPEARANCE???? Never was anything even remotely discussed about this. Not at any point was anything even mentioned. Nothing added up compared to what we were told before we got there.
* Before the judge announced the 5 winners, she 'reiterated' the inportance of appearance etc. One of the other moms (whose daughter was in the contest as well) leaned over to me and said 'somethings up'..why would they be driving home something so insignificant. I didn't think anything of it.
* After I got home, I tried to understand what had just happened..etc, and posted my origingal post and sent the e-mail to the same folks that had been talking to me the whole time, and I asked "what's up"?
* When they finally called me, I was told was that "it needed to be a 'contest' and Savannah was just way too obvious as the front runner". They also told me "she doesn't 'need' this...there are way bigger things in her future". That was when I was trying to remind her that she is still only 11, and this 'matters' to her. I was also told 'some of these kids...this is all they are going to get". etc. etc.

So, I think I had every reason to be a bit miffed. Then people on here; some gave me great advice, and even told me things that i didn't necessarily agree with; however, the delivery tone is completely obvious if malice is intended or not. As I stated, most gave me excellent advice, and my eyes were opened. However, being told that 'they finally told me what I wanted to hear so I would "go away", really? Everybody has their breaking point. I'm still trying to find the 'great advice' or 'helpful nature' of that comment.

For the record; sorry for being a potty mouth.

P.S. Thanks for coming to my defense, Mr. Scott! I appreciate that.

Wecome back Dad.

Thx. Have a great Friday.

Let me point out that I never mentioned anything about your daughter's singing ability, of which she has plenty. Yes I did listen to many of her songs. What I felt was that you are the stereotypical "squeaky wheel" that gets the grease because you make so much noise...because you can't believe that ANYONE might just be a little bit better than your Savannah. You are the parent that is constantly promoting his child to the point that you start to annoy people. Your overbearing Svengali nature is enough to make some people(judges) take it out on your daughter because it's the easiest way to avoid dealing with the guy in the wife beater T-Shirt who, as you have shown here, gets quite nasty when something doesn't go your way. Do you think that those nice people want to tell you that your daughter didn't make it to the finals because she just wasn't good enough? They're probably afraid to tell you the truth or maybe they just want you to go away. You might have a reputation in your area of being someone that is very tough to deal with. It's hard to decide whether or not your daughter got the short end of the stick without hearing ALL of the other singers. You just can't expect everyone to just believe it because you say it.

If your daughter was on American Idol, I might vote for her....if she wasn't your daughter. That is the point I'm trying to make. You might be costing her votes with your personality. Now, you may go ahead and attack me again but that will only prove my point even more so. I'm trying to explain to you how the real world works. It's not always fair. Learn to handle it.

BFFL ..you never let me down

Thank God!

I dunno, man.. you sound like a stage dad.

Part of being an entertainer is understanding that there will always be people who say you suck. Always.

Regardless of how good you may or may not be. There are always going to be people who think you suck.

Now i've heard hundreds of parents who think their kid is just the next hottest singer.. and most of them suck.

Your daughter doesn't suck.. but I can certainly understand how she might not win 1st place in every competition she enters.. especially if she lacks any discernible stage presence.

There are plenty of artists who have lost numerous local and state level competitions, but still managed to carve out a career and even put out hit records.

My advice is to get the girl some vocal training, work on her stage presence, and not get your panties in a bunch when your kid doesn't win every contest she enters.

When a judge tells you, "Dude.. she would have taken it, but her stage presence, appearance was terrible" don't start skimming through the rule book looking for a reason why she shouldn't have looked or acted like an entertainer, then desperately try to gain some vindication by posting rants on message boards.

Instead, use the whole experience as a learning lesson and move forward in a positive manner.

One thing I've learned through working with bands and karaoke is that people like to tell performers how great they are regardless of how good they really are. However, in anonymity (for instance with a panel of judges) suddenly the truth starts to come out. I've seen absolutely terrible singers get all sorts of kudos from people in the bar, club or festival after their performance. I've seen terrible bands that I've mixed for get all sorts of people telling them how great they are. How do you think all these terrible singers that have this attitude of how great they are even though they stink end up on American Idol. People tell them they're "sooooo good" even though they stink, and they believe it so they go out and try out for the show. Then when they get the news that they actually can't sing a lick, they get all shades of angry.

Now obviously your girl does have some talent. However, you're still not thinking about anyone's perspective but your own and you're not looking at this objectively. Did you ever think maybe the judges really did like her but then when they saw how she came dressed were a little insulted that she didn't take it more seriously? Or maybe as I described above, they blew a certain amount of sunshine up your rear? I hate to lump you into the typical "stage parent" category but you're doing a lot of things right now that suggest you are. Your descriptions of what people said to you seem WAAAAY over the top. A common sign I've seen all too often. Parents in your situation tend to "hear" more in a comment than was actually being said. I gotta admit, it really sounds the same here as I listen to you describe your situation.

And finally I'm back to my other point that I made in previous posts, it really doesn't matter if it was fair or not, life is not fair, this industry is not fair. You need to teach your daughter how to mentally cope with those situations in a constructive manner that will further her career. Again, assuming that the judges or other officials in the contest were just being unfair, were idiots or whatever and sitting around feeling sorry for yourself or complaining about it WILL NOT advance her career and will instead ensure she goes nowhere. Dude, I'm serious as a heart attack here, if you don't start teaching her how to handle a situation like this and use it as motivation to come back even stronger next time, this industry will squash her like a grape and that will be seriously heart breaking. Be a parent, not a cheerleader.

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DJ Tony
Let It Rip Karaoke