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Did my first wedding of the year tonight. Decent size wedding - about 250 guests. Dinner was about an hour late and a lot of the guests were more than ready when dinner was served. As a courtesy to my clients, I make myself available to dismiss tables if nobody else is available. Well, when I made the dinner announcement, it also included "....we ask that you remain seated until your table has been dismissed.".

The way the serving line was set up was about 15 feet from the entrance and 20 from the bar (imagine one line, half going in one direction for food and the other going in the other direction for the bar with the main entrance in between.) So, a long line would block the entrance and interfere with the bar service.

Well, my first announcement didn't work. Had a lot of people dismissing themselves. It always happens and most times, I just look the other way. Well, it was so bad that I actually made the announcement again, "Ladies and gentlemen, we do ask that you remain seated until your table has been dismissed." Still didn't work. So, I stood at the back of the line and wouldn't let cutters in. It went like "Oh, hello. What table are you from? Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't made it to your table yet".

I turned about 20 people away. Later, I was out talking to the bride and explained to her what I had done, and she told me it was perfectly fine that I had done that and kind of laughed that one of the people I turned away was her boss.

So, question, did I go too far? Would you have done the same thing? Your input would be much appreciated. Thanks.

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I'm not a cheerleader, but I paid for my pom poms with my own money!

dismiss tables

You mean you make people sit until you give them permission to leave???

I think we do things differently over here.
You really do that?

Yes us yanks are kind of uncivilized and need that kind of control to keep things orderly otherwise it's a shark frenzy. !

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The Line Array Experiment is over. Nothing to see here. Move along.

I don't do weddings anymore!

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I'm trying to get out of doing weddings also!! My boss is more of a DJ than KJ... Karaoke was started as a novelty, I don't think he thought it would last. But Mobile DJ is our main income. I used to love weddings, they were fun and heartwarming.... but it seems to me, since that stupid show "Bridezillas" came out.. the bride and her mother think it's ok to be b*tches for no reason.... spoiled brattiness abounds! I had a mother-of-the-bride get mad at me because they ran out of dance time... not my fault the ceremony was an hour late starting, the wedding party couldn't be found to be announced (though I was told they were ready, but when I looked outside the door to make sure, they weren't there), I had to go looking for them. Then had to go looking for the bride for the first dance (the mom got mad at me for that). By the time the first dance happened, there was only an hour left on their contract. I had warned the mom during dinner that we were running very late and had to move things along (nicely of course). At the end, the mom handed me the check and said, "I'll never hire you again!" WHAT?
Plus, buffet-style... takes way too long if there are more than 50 people.. maybe up to a hundred, fat maybe.
Anyway, that's just one example... In ten years never a complaint, then the last two years.... nitpickin' b*tchin, whining... and blaming me for their own mistakes. I can only do so much. I wish I could insist that they have a wedding coordinator so I don't have to do it and get blamed for their lack of planning. Oh and yes...with a large party, most DJs around here will dismiss the tables one or two at a time for a buffet..... bunch of cows around that can't wait for the free food!!

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One other one that was kinda funny.... though not funny that they complained on the web
The groom was a Groomzilla! He insisted that all the music played be 192 bit... my boss who is not computer savvy said he didn't know what bit rate our music is (320), he just told him that it's from CD. Anyway, the groom decides that he wants to pick every song played, and he himself will provide the music. So, he gives us a cd... where he has recorded Vinyl records at 192b!! We had instructions to not play anything that wasn't on the cd! Needless to say the only song danceable that was given was "we are family"! Then they had the gall to complain!! Wanted their money back!
I didn't DJ that one thank goodness...but the guy that did, won't work for us anymore!! I don't blame him!!

I literally mean we have had no unhappy customers in 30 years UNTIL the last 2-3 years.. it's like they can't be pleased. They ruin their own day.

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Rant over!


Yes, wedding coordinator or DJ can release tables for a buffet. Why would they want to stand there for an hour anyway? dumb

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SoundChoice Certification coming soon!

Just got this email:

2012/3/10 Stolpner Family <stolpner@shluhot.org.il>

Aleeza:

Attached is the invitation in both Hebrew and English. As I mentioned, there will be a private bus from Jerusalem on Friday afternoon to the Kibbutz returning on Saturday night. We hope you can join us for our Simcha.

Menachem & Shoshana Stolpner

DANG! I didn't know I was doing a Bar Mitzva!! AND a private bus.. um... wonder if they're stopping here to pick me up!!

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In my experience, if you are a DJ, don't become a wedding corridnator. You are there to play music, not to run the reception. If you do try to "help" out, even with good intentions, you are probably going to anger some guest for some crazy reason.

I try to tell the bride/groom to add 1 hour to when they want me to start, because things ALWAYS GO SLOWER than what they expected.

My Agreements state that I will be available to play music from say 7pm to 10pm. If I don't start till 8, not my fault, I still stop at 11 unless I see cash.


SO far only had ONE issues with a B/G. Everything was running late, no origination. Dance was supposed to start at 7pm, but din't start till 8:30. I told them around 6pm and every 1/2 there after, they need to hurry up to start the dance, because I will be done at 11. Didn't listen. No OT cash, and I shut down at 11. Got a letter from a "lawyer" want refund of money because I didn't play for 3 hours. Sent back a copy of agreement and letter stating that I was available from 7-11. Never heard anything again.


So once again. YOU AR A DJ, not a wedding corridnator. If you are going to be a DJ/Wedding Corridnator, you need to get paid more. But then again, I don't have my CPA clean my teeth.

twansenne, BINGO. We do the show. The only other thing would be having the mics available for the official speeches.

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You can be strange but not a stranger

I agree, and that is pretty much what I did.. 'help out' because I was asked if I could keep things moving. They had a 'timeline' that they had given me... lot of good it did since they didn't even start the ceremony until an hour late. Yada Yada...
During consults now, I always be sure to tell them that if there is no coordinator, they need to have someone in charge to communicate with me. I don't mind keeping things moving... but when they throw roadblocks then blame it on me... no go there!
But that's why I don't want to do weddings anymore. Up until a couple years ago I did a wedding every weekend from May thru September for 10 years.. never a complaint, and lots of thank you letters. I haven't changed in the way I do things... but I notice A LOT of b*tchiness in the brides and moms.. and yes, sometimes the groom. Maybe it's the economy and DJ's are a pretty big chunk of the cost of a wedding... BUT we are the ones that make it memorable and fun.
Give me a 40th birthday party any day!

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Actually, the DJ is only a small part of the cost. Flowers can cost 4 times what you charge and they don't coordinate a gd thing. People always undervalue the worth of a good dj. I do try to coordnate things. Hell, I'll even get a drink for the bride and groom and carry the bride's plate through the buffet line so she doesn't have to. Small gestures can make all the difference in the world.

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Birdofsong

It's the whole photo thing--have attended a few weddings in a row now where the photo session directly after the ceremony took over an hour while guests sat and got weak from hunger. It is like they are trying to create moments now instead of capture them.

And you're correct.. the flowers do cost more than I do... and the dress... the food... the venue..
All of those are important, but I'm kinda thinking nothing more important than the music... wear your mom's dress, have minimal flowers, schedule the wedding so you dont' have to serve dinner (serve snacks)... buy lots of champagne and have great music and Party!! There's the memory!
I actually just did a wedding similar to that in my backyard for my daughters second marriage. Got the dress at Sears $70, she looked like a godess, flowers were sillk that I bought and made bouquets from, food was an almost dinner (lots of hot hor dourves), made the cake myself (and darned if it didnt turn out really good!)... I decorated with a bolt of white chiffon, bright pink table runners bought at Big Lots and black tablecloths borrowed from the hotel where I work, lots of LED twinkle lights. I paid my boss his usual fee for the DJ and that was probably 3/4 of what the rest cost all together. The music is what is remembered... how pretty she looked walking down the isle, the first dance.. and the overall atmosphere. Without the music.. the whole thing would have fallen flat.

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Without music everyone would just sit around and drink.

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I am the ONLY SANE 1 HERE

I think those of you who said that I shouldn't be dismissing tables are right. Should something go wrong (like with dinner being late), I am asking for trouble trying to maintain order at the buffet line.

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I'm not a cheerleader, but I paid for my pom poms with my own money!

I don't necessarily think you shouldn't dismiss the tables.. that is something that should be discussed at the consult or even ask the mom of bride there at the venue. I do think though, if they want you to dismiss tables, that if it gets out of hand...just let it go, you're not there to do crowd control I wouldn't dismiss tables without prior discussion with the bride or mother of the bride...I have asked right then and there when they came and told me dinner was ready...
Then I find out if the buffet is on both sides of the tables or not.. and ask people to please not block entrances etc. When releasing tables, I usually do the elderly-ist tables first, then the ones with children... All after the bridal party and family of course!!

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If they want the tables dismissed, then it should be the duty of either the Co-ordinator (if there is one) or the best man or maid of honour.

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You can be strange but not a stranger

But the bridal party goes first..... that wouldn't work
I don't mind dismissing... but only if they want me to. It's never been a big problem. Certainly not as much as a problem as when the ceremony is an hour late starting!!

Gosh, we could all write a book!! Teach wedding coordinating!!

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