Karaoke Forums

I know this subject has been covered before, but it's starting to raise it's ugly head again in one of my karaoke venues...

It's the "she (or he) is singing MY song!" garbage...

This time however, I have a female singer (Let's call her Ms. X) who arrives early, and intentionally hands in several slips that are favorites of other "regulars".. I'm sure she does it in an attempt to show up the others, since she believes she is a better singer... She definitely isn't.

In the past, I usually answer the "She's singing MY song" statement with... "No, it isn't your song... In fact, since I shelled out my money for it, you could say it's MY song."

But Ms. X is getting on the nerves of several patrons (including mine), and it's beginning to reflect on my ability to run a happy show... In fact, it's almost at the point where I wouldn't be too surprised to see fisticuffs break out amongst some of these ladies. There have already been a couple of fairly animated 'discussions.'

Any suggestions??

_________________
Earl
(BS, PHD & Certified CurmuDJeon)

[font=Times New Roman]"Growing Old may be mandatory... but growing UP is still optional."[/font]

I would just boot her from the night. I've done this to people, even regulars. If they are killing the mood, no need in having them around at all. It's exactly the same thing you do to people who are physically aggression, they have no place at your show.

_________________
Wam bam thank you m'am.

One show that I used to attend with some of my Friends (many years ago), had this one woman (another Regular), who used to boast about how great her singing was. And, every time she got up on stage, she would make excuses as to why she messed up this song or that song. Whenever someone else sang some song which she happened to sing at one time or another, she would start complaining that that was "MY SONG." Also, since my Friends and I always brought along our own discs, this Woman felt a sense of entitlement that we should share our discs with her. Well, one night, we all got sick of her, so we decided to fix her a$$. Each of us chose a song which we knew this Woman usually sang, and one by one, we sang just about every song in her repertoire (all within the same rotation). By the time it got to her turn, she didn't have anything to sing, and just decided to sit there and stew about it.

Earl, do you have a "No Repeat Songs" policy set in place at your show? If you do, maybe you could (quietly) talk to some of your regulars, and get them to sing some of Ms. X's songs in one rotation (like my Friends and I did).

If she's creating problems with the other customers, point her out to management and have her 86'd from the show. Nip disruptions in the bud early and eliminate problems. You can give her a warning first if you think it will help.....but it is in the NATURE of this sort of person to try to dominate and be the center of attention to the annoyance and irritation of other paying patrons. Save time and be done with it. There is no changing such a person's behavior.

_________________
"You know that I sing the Blues and I do not suffer fools. When I'm on that silver mic, it's gonna cut ya, just like a knife"-The SWINGCAT

Also eliminate the practice of taking multiple song slips at once. Adhere to a strict SING ONE AND BRING ONE policy.

_________________
"You know that I sing the Blues and I do not suffer fools. When I'm on that silver mic, it's gonna cut ya, just like a knife"-The SWINGCAT

I really like Kurt's last post - "sing one bring one" sounds like a positive solution that shouldn't overly offend anyone and yet nips the problem in the bud.

I really appreciate the original poster coming forth with this problem -- I have people who turn in multiple slips at a time and it hadn't even occurred to me that they might be trying to preclude other people from singing certain songs. I may have to adapt sing one bring one myself if I start running into this issue at my own shows.

Absolutely, sing it and bring it, no repeats allowed. No one gets to monopolize song selections and no one can complain because it is first-come, first-served.

Oh,but, sing one bring one WILL OFFEND the problem child...as it will disrupt her pattern and strategy of dominating and controlling YOU and the event. But be strong and dont let her browbeat YOU about it....if she dont like the idea, she can hit the road....and tell her and make it clear to her.... if she dont like it, there's the door, and direct her to the karaoke down the street. Simple, clear and direct.
Reestablish YOUR CONTROL of YOUR SHOW!!

(But I'm willing to bet that she's ALREADY been to the Karaoke down the street before, and THEY sent her packing to YOU!!........HAHAHAHAHAHA!!)

_________________
"You know that I sing the Blues and I do not suffer fools. When I'm on that silver mic, it's gonna cut ya, just like a knife"-The SWINGCAT

New Years Eve night I turned in a song. No problem. Three songs later two guys got up and did the song I turned in! Did I have a right to be pissed? Hell yes. Why did the KJ not tell me that someone else had requested it when I turned it in? Why did he not tell the two dudes that someone else had already turned it in if they changed to it on the fly?

The point is it comes back to you as the KJ. If you have a singer that sings a song tell the "song block" chick someone else already has it up, then go tell the person that normally sings it that you put it down for them because "song block" chick was trying to put it up. pretty soon, "song block" chick will get the idea. This shouldn't be an issue if the other person has, like, 5 or more songs they do. You can't let someone claim your entire library. But if this is a person that only does one or two songs, you gotta look after them.

All comes back to the KJ exerting and maintaining POSITIVE CONTROL of the show, with one aspect being not letting rotation and submissions getting out of control, which includes letting singers know if a song is already in line or has already been sung.

I dont allow song one-upsmanship competitions to take place.

_________________
"You know that I sing the Blues and I do not suffer fools. When I'm on that silver mic, it's gonna cut ya, just like a knife"-The SWINGCAT

In my expereince if they want to sing something aready in line ill suggest they sing something else...if they insist then I make clear that it will be a LOOOOOOOONG wait....like 3 hours, near til closing, so the previous effort will have been forgotten by then. Otherwise no.

_________________
"You know that I sing the Blues and I do not suffer fools. When I'm on that silver mic, it's gonna cut ya, just like a knife"-The SWINGCAT

Yes, I allowed the same song twice, but it had to be a few rotations apart or after the first singer left.

This is a difficult situation to manage. Just about anything you do, will cause some grief with the problem singer so it seems to me to be a matter of managing to the least amount of fallout. Limit the tension to that one singer instead of the rest of the regulars. In other words, make yourself the bad guy instead of the other singers.

I would speak directly to the problem singer and suggest she submit fewer requests at one time (or even the sing and bring suggestions above) so that other folks have an opportunity to sing some of the popular songs as well. You can do this under the guise of promoting diversity and variety at the karaoke program. Be sure to indicate that this is what YOU want, not what the other singers want. That keeps the heat off the other singers.

She will either comply, or stop coming. Better to lose one than many.

-Chris

_________________
-Chris

One at a time slips, first come first served.

I also inform singers that want to one-up with a repeat that it's considered extremely discourteous in the karaoke community. Yup, my show.

Both song blocking and one-uppers tick me off. If someone actually SAYS "That's my song", I'll ask when they published it.

I do all of this with a smile on my face and a joking voice voice, but eventually they realize that I don't allow either practice- with one possible exception:

If I have a fairly new regular that might only sing from a1 or 2 song repertoire, I will try to keep those songs for them. THEY are not requesting this, I am just extending a courtesy.

_________________
"No Contests, No Divas, Just A Good Time!"

" Disc based and loving it..."

I AGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been reading and listening to Dale Carnegie lately. The key points that are coming to my mind right now are...

1. People need to feel important.
2. Damaging a person's pride makes enemies. Saving their pride helps keep friends.
3. A person who comes to your show every week and shows up early is a valuable asset to your business.

So, can this woman be salvaged without alienating the other customers? I don't know, but it seems like if you can find another way to make her feel important while instituting sing one bring one might be worth a try.

You make the rule and stick by it - either turn in ONE slip at a time OR if you allow multiple slips, make certain they know ANYTHING underneath that top slip is fair game to anyone who turns it in. I did this rule years ago due to that exact thing. I will no longer be responsible to look through a stack of slips and tell others they cannot sing them because someone already turned them in and MIGHT not even get to sing them.

_________________
LIKE Lonman on Facebook - Lonman Productions Karaoke & my main site via my profile!

This happened just the other night and the guy that turned in the song first, never got to sing it! I had to smooth some ruffled feathers that night.

I do as Lon has suggested... It doesn't matter to me whether they submit 1 slip or a stack of 10... It's the top slip that counts... I'll look at the second slip in the stack when it's time for the next rotation.. This has always been my policy, and the "regulars" know it.

But that still doesn't stop "Ms X" from claiming songs as belonging to her.

Until recently, I've been able to handle the situation quite nicely... (see my OP above).. I've jokingly told her the song isn't her's... it's mine. I paid for it.

Lately however, she's realized that she's getting nowhere with me... so she's decided to take her complaints directly to the other singers... And that's when noses get out of joint.

I've tried, in the nicest way I know how, to tell people that, if they have a problem, bring it to me... but it seems to fall on (her) deaf ears.

The last thing in the world I want to see is someone barred from the venue, but, in the absence of common sense and reason, there may be no other choice.

It's one of those "damned if you do, and damned if you don't" situations...

_________________
Earl
(BS, PHD & Certified CurmuDJeon)

[font=Times New Roman]"Growing Old may be mandatory... but growing UP is still optional."[/font]

Big Jer's ideas make sense but there are also a few out there who really aren't "normal" and they can be crazy as a fox and just push back harder when they sense they are being "managed."

I've had luck with direct negotiations as far as asking one if it is okay if the other sang the song tonight because they got engaged to that song or telling the person that they are able to sing a great variety of songs but this other person can only sing a few so far, etc. Sometimes a reminder that karaoke isn't about being the best and is all about not hurting feelings is needed. But it sounds like this lady might just continue to argue.

I do take stacks of slips but most tell me I can organize them as I see fit. A warning when Diva turns in her stack that the order will be determined by who's slip is on top for each round and not by who turned all of theirs in at once does sound like a good solution. That way it puts it all on it being your organizational decision based on luck of the draw so it would be no use for her to bother the other singers. Telling her to pick out back ups in case someone else comes up first for a song might also give her a hint. Then she can either accept that is how the show will be run or go somewhere else.