Karaoke Forums

Let's build a list of bad KJ practices and give them names, symptoms and cures.

I'll start off with -

Golden Mic Syndrome -

Manifests anytime KJ or close friend of KJ sings a song.

Symptoms - Battered public mic disappears and Golden mic appears
KJ touches mixer for the first time all evening.
General sound level goes up around 20 decibels.
Cheesy echo and hall effects disappear or reduced to acceptable level.

Cure - KJ makes the same effort to make every singer sound as good as possible. Keep the sound level consistent. All other settings equal, if the Golden Mic sounds so much better than the public mics then the public mics really need to be upgraded.

It might be more about the drunken stranger who pounds the KJs brand new SM 58 with his fist vs. the regular who has proven to the KJ that he respects his equipment.

The syndrome is more that the Golden Mic KJ's make a conscious effort to distance themselves from the "riff raff" by tweaking the settings only for themselves and keeping generic lousy sound for all the other singers as a crutch to make themselves sound better. The "Private" Mic is just one added possible component of the syndrome.

The only one who has a "golden" mic is me. I use a 58 wireless and only me. That's to help me healthy, even tho I sanitize all the mic.s each night to protect everyone.

I knew what you meant. I have a very quick cure as a singer -- I leave such a show and don't come back.

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[color=#ffff55]Mickey J.[/color]
Alas for those who never sing, but die with all their music in them.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Agreed. I've been to one where the KJ was a frustrated country singer AND paranoid. He did everything mentioned above PLUS;

1) Singing more often than any other singers- usually twice per rotation.

2) The Paranoia: There were 3 other hosts visiting the show besides myself. It was a Monday and many of the locals were off. Every time a KJ went up ( he knew who we were through the greetings given by the singers.) he intentionally screwed up the sound. One host actually sounded like Rudy Vallee singing through a megaphone. Even he started laughing.

This was a shame because we like to go out to other shows and just have fun when we are off- and we SPEND.

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"No Contests, No Divas, Just A Good Time!"

" Disc based and loving it..."

I tweak sound for everybody. I sing on the cheapest mic of the bunch when I sing at all. Once I have 10 singers I drop out

Drunks and newbies get the dented SM 58. After I know you, you get the pristine Sennheiser e-835.

The SM 58 was perfect for 3 shows before a drunk pounded on it. I can't afford a brand new $110 microphone every 3 shows.

Everyone gets the same mic at my show - it's actually the GTD wireless nowdays, but I wouldn't hesitate to hand ANYONE my wired SM58 - they are indestructible, used the same two for nearly 20 years before finally replacing due to the barrel wore to the point it wouldn't hold the mic XLR anymore. They were dropped, swung, flung, thrown and whatever else you could think of. No one gets substandard equipment just because it may cost a little more, that is part of the business! I ONLY took out my wireless SM58 because the GTD Audio sounded just as good for the most part.

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Lots of good KJs on here, so they might not realize how often this has, and is still happening everywhere. Grabbed a kjs mike once(before he could stop me), when asked by a singer to join him, and I sounded like a robotic alien from another world..........should have seen the kj jumping to the mixer controls to bring me back to earth......
ps......doesn't t really matter.....even if they use the same mic, you'll see many turning up the heat, before they sing, and then immediately cooling that bad boy off, before the next customer sings.....

I guess it just strikes me as dumb to not at least try to make everybody sound good. You want singers to come back and you don't want to run the non-singers off.

Many times when I sing as a KJ, I have two goals: 1. Make sure the sound is good for the singers (because I have an odd speaker set-up at my main venue caused by a misshaped stage area). 2. To try a good but underused song to encourage other singers to take it over.
So I guess I have Song Abandonment Syndrome, in which I learn a song but leave it whenever a regular claims it. It really helps the night go by when people are tackling new songs.

Jerry - Song Abandonment Syndrome is a great KJ practice in that it puts the customer first so it definitely doesn't fit in this topic of Bad KJ diseases. We should start a Best KJ Practices thread and put it in there though.

Newsongexcusemeitis - Most prevalent with singers but has been seen in the KJ population.

Symptoms - 2 minute rambling preamble apology explaining that "This is the first time I've tried this song . . yada yada yada."

Cure - Just sing the song or 3 second max "Hey, tryin a new one for you here"

This is a relatively benign problem but there is a related condition known as Newsonglyingitis that is quite bad.

Newsonglyingitis- Mainly seen with singers but has been spotted in KJ population.

Symptoms - Starts out with all the symptoms of Newsongexcusemeitis but one minute into song it becomes quite apparent that singer has done this song for years.

Cure - No known cure.

Titlenesia - A very narrow but chronic short term memory loss experienced by singers who can't recall what song they're about to sing, yet know perfectly well where they fall in the rotation.

Lol: I forgot to offer a cure...

Cure: Cue most embarrassing song in collection

I have to admit I suffer from Newsongexcusemeitis. I am known for having quite a self-deprecating sense of humour and am quite down on myself a lot so I make a quick joke, usually just, "I apologise in advance." I have a reputation to uphold.

I have also been known to be hit with the odd bout of Howdoesitstartenza. This offshoot of Titlenesia renders the performer unable to remember the first line of the song they are about to sing right up until the last second of the intro resulting in looking and feeling awkward until the words start flowing.

I have extremely bad cases of title sea. Usually it sets in about thirty seconds after I have handed in my slip

Repeatussingeritus
Symptoms: The primary symptom is the symptom repeats itself over and over in a rotation, but never in the same form. Variations include singing their own song then singing duets or groups with others until their turn rolls around again. Then the initial variation is repeated.

Cause: KJhasNoBallsitus. The KJ manages the rotation but doesn't manage who is allowed on stage for any given performance.

Remedy: Grow some.

Happened Saturday night. 40 singer+rotation and a girl (she's a friend but still) sang five times...

Longsongitis Syndrome:

This is a peculiar malady wherein the singer can only sing songs that have a song length of at least 5 minutes.

"Good evening ladies and gents, tonight I will sing Stairway to Heaven. Thank you. -Oh wait! It's double shot Friday! Good evening again. I will also sing Bye bye Miss American Pie. If there is still time before we close, that is. Thank you."

I have no problem with Lonsongitis, if it is slow night. Slow nights get treated differently. I make them more intimate, and silly. I do Fridays and Saturdays at the same place. Fridays are ALWAYS busy. Saturdays are hit or miss, depending on what else is going on in the area. BUT, I always have "The Family" there. They are the core group that comes every night. Even if it is not busy, we have a blast. I am much more lenient where long songs are concerned on those nights. The "Risk-ay" songs are a go. Longer songs are a go. The owner is fine with it, and has a blast right along with us.

I admit to using my own mic. My Tuesday show I put out both cordless mics, up front, and have my corded Berhinger in back with me. On the weekends, I put out one cordless, for the singers, and one for me. But I share it. I don't particularly like to, just for hygiene reasons. I spray them both a few times a night. My personal sound is no better or worse than my singers. I adjust everyone, equally.

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I am the ONLY SANE 1 HERE