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I'm thinking that parents are really the only people who are qualified to give valid opinions about parenting skills. I helped raise two teenage stepdaughters and I would rank myself as a substitute teacher at best. You have to have a certain number of hours of "on the job experience" so to speak, to offer really meaningful opinions on parenting topics. Somebody who hasn't even flown in a plane couldn't be expected to give good opinions on how to be an astronaut!
While what you say is undesputably true Don. As a big child today (myself) ALOT of mistakes were made by the adults in my life in the 50's-70's, and that gives me the experience of knowing (or believing) certain things from experiences at the opposite end, or the experiences of "being a child" (and mistakes made by my parents, or mistakes I *perceive* were made). In the 1950's the general thought appeared to be "Whatever he experiences leave it be, he'll either outgrow it, or grow into the time when it can be talked about"...As a youngster who was forced to understand what's going on around him on his own, and draw weird conclusions when I didn't understand things, I didn't like the fact that "in my day" as a child, and from discussions with many married friends EVEN TODAY the answer to certain situations seems to come up quite alot.... "just ignore it, it's normal for his/her age", or "hmm, I didn't think that behaviour started until___years of age".
Personally, today as a big and loud inner-child voice, and a kid who developed extreme hyponchondriasis as the result of parents that in some cases left me to my own sensations and perceptions to deal with.. I recall a few acutely scary episodes that sent me storming into my parents room at 3AM scared
(@$%!).... I also commented in a different PM regarding what happened as the result of sexuality not being explained.... As a result, I associated it with disease and death (at around 5 when a neighborhood kid died).. How's a kid at 4 to know orgasm is normal and healthy ? It's intense and wierd !
At around 7 I went storming into my parents room, my arm totally numb.... Screaming, Take me to the hospital, I have polio.... (My arm feel asleep)
Now in retrospect we can look back and laugh at alot of the things kids must deal with on their own, at least for awhile, yet sensations are terrifying for kids... and impulses, as well as thoughts are NOTHING we have control of, they hit when they hit...and even though in the case of MY mom thinking she was open-minded, it's not easy for a toddler to explain certain things "he, or she" already has been led to believe are "dirty" by our cultures behaviour... It took panic episodes for me to run to my mom at 4-6 explaining some wierd
(@$%!) that was going on with my body... She'd laugh of course, and I suppose although I failed to see the humor in what was happening to me, I thought I was unique, or the ONLY one that ever had these weird sensations....
Kid's when we were growing up Don, were often scared about what they didn't know, but it was hushed up about... Whether that's OUR culture, or childhood in general, I don't know... Yet these instances of my early childhood are VERY vivid to me, and it seems that certain things I went thru, might not necessarily be things other kids must go thru too....