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PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 11:59 pm 
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The audience is spending more time staring at their cell phones then watching the singers.

The really good singers aren't signing up because they have a scratchy throat.

Couples in the audience are having serious conversations and look annoyed whenever the KJ talks.

Everytime a touch down is scored on ESPN the guys all yell out and hi-five each other.

Everybody is ordering food instead of drinks and they want to get home early.

There's a substitute KJ and he can't figure out the system.

There's a table of drunk 21 year olds who are trying all new songs.

The 55 year olds are doing old Madonna songs or the Pussycat Doll's "Don't Cha",

Every guy suddenly thinks he's Toby Keith or Tim McGraw,

And last but not least, Babs couldn't make it that night!


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 1:13 am 
I love the drunk that sings a song and screws it up.   Comes up 5 minutes later and says "Put this one in, I really know all the words to this one".    That is the signal that he's really going to suck now.   His middle name is "Hoover".    Then there is my all time favorite.  Hands me a slip and tells me how HE is really going to get the crowd going.    Thank GOD, I thought the night was going to be a total waste.   Where have you been all night?   Thank you so much for saving my job.   Never would have been back without you.    :worship:


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 1:27 am 
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:rotflmao:


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 7:01 am 
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Woo hoo I'm famous!  LMAO

Thank you I needed that.

Bad karaoke night - just happened

A group of 40 yr old woman come in drunk when I was ready to close.
They all sing to together deciding the karaoke girl is their stage prop.
I felt like a stripper pole. They were grabbing every body part I had.
I felt so violated I wanted to go home and take a shower. LMAO

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 7:05 am 
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Bigdog @ Mon Apr 10, 2006 1:13 am wrote:
I love the drunk that sings a song and screws it up.   Comes up 5 minutes later and says "Put this one in, I really know all the words to this one".    That is the signal that he's really going to suck now.   His middle name is "Hoover".    Then there is my all time favorite.  Hands me a slip and tells me how HE is really going to get the crowd going.    Thank GOD, I thought the night was going to be a total waste.   Where have you been all night?   Thank you so much for saving my job.   Never would have been back without you.    :worship:


How bout the drunk that sings their song, then later hands in the slip of the very SAME song saying they haven't sang that song yet.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 7:15 am 
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Or the drunk that doesn't sing in the mic, but insist on singing again and again.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 8:21 am 
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Bad karaoke night.....

1) no one shows up...unless your one of those singers that don't care if there is an audience...

2) the KJ is pissed off at the world.....

3) hearing "The Love Shack" more than once.....

4) the bartender tells me we are out of Mezcal....

5) a computer KJ who tells me he has every song I could ever want to sing...

6) not be able to use my own disc's....ah cause I got all the songs I sing...

7) did I mention no Mezcal....

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 8:45 am 
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Funny stuff KKid Keith.  And of course every song version on the KJ's computer is the cheap one with the out of sync graphics that you don't like!  :)


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:29 am 
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You put a singer up to sing Stairway To Heaven (your first mistake) and they absolutely murder the song...and then as they hand you back the mic, another person runs up waiving a song slip and says (loud enough for everyone to hear) "Put Me Up There and I'll Show You How To Sing That Song Right" ......then demands to be next. :shock:

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:56 am 
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Here's one you should be familiar with Don:

You finally go back to karaoke cause the bar finally got the long awaited "air cleaner system" installed.......

Only to find out it's a tiny 12" X 12" apartment size air purifier set on back of the bar so the bartender can breathe easier.......

And after two songs you go home with a headache and scratchy throat from all the thick smoke you THOUGHT was gonna be gone.


>personal joke, nobody but Don is gonna understand my peeve with this, lol<

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 10:42 am 
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Now that's good comedy!  Yes, needless to say, we were all a little disappointed at the size of the air de-ionizer.  Supposedly the next plan is to vent all the smoke out through the ceiling, but your heat is going to go right out with it.  Until something is done, the smoke will remain a recreational hazard -- it's kind of a no pain, no pleasure situation.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 12:31 pm 
Odie @ Mon Apr 10, 2006 1:59 am wrote:
The audience is spending more time staring at their cell phones then watching the singers.

The really good singers aren't signing up because they have a scratchy throat.

Couples in the audience are having serious conversations and look annoyed whenever the KJ talks.

Everytime a touch down is scored on ESPN the guys all yell out and hi-five each other.

Everybody is ordering food instead of drinks and they want to get home early.

There's a substitute KJ and he can't figure out the system.

There's a table of drunk 21 year olds who are trying all new songs.

The 55 year olds are doing old Madonna songs or the Pussycat Doll's "Don't Cha",

Every guy suddenly thinks he's Toby Keith or Tim McGraw,

And last but not least, Babs couldn't make it that night!


All right, does that 55 year olds doing old Madonna tunes go for guys too.....lol.....if so, I demand an apology....lmao.......johnny echo


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 1:53 pm 
I had a girl come up to me one night and tell me to turn down the music because her and her girlfriend where talking and they couldn't hear each other.   They were at the back of the bar over 60 feet away.    It's karaoke night dingbat.   Go to the tea room if you want to talk gossip.


At another bar this girl camps out in front of the speaker.   She decides it's too loud and turns the speaker.    I had the speaker wire wrapped around the trypod.   She turned it so far that the speaker & stand fell over.    She ran out of the bar.   I grabbed my cell and ran after her.   Had the cops on the line with her plate number before she cleared the lot.   Settlement was made.   Not by her but her girlfreind.  To get me to not press charges.    I ain't messin' with jerks any more.

I really like it when the oldsters plop down right in front of the speaker and complain about the noise all night.    Move to the back of the bus.


I was singing "I Am The Walrus" one night.    This girls comes flying at me from the back of the bar all wide eyed, screaming "You have to turn that off right now".   I thought she was kidding and kept singing.   She was serious.   Must have had a drug induced flashback to her teens and was reliving a really bad acid trip.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 2:07 pm 
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How about when a group of "too cool for karaoke" patrons come in and turn on the jukebox that someone forgot to unplug? Or even better, when they find out it's unplugged they plug it back in... yah... no  :no:

Or when someone gets up to sing but decides they're waaaay better at comedy, so hold the music please?? Or they can talk over the music, that's fine... But the bad part is, they aren't funny. And they're really really drunk. So to them they're the funniest person in the whole world!!!

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 2:48 pm 
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Yep, I've seen the "too cool" and "attempted comics" type too!  LOL


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 3:50 pm 
How bout a drunk chick puking all over the small singer area, not even an hour into a show. She wasn't a very big woman, but she must have recently eaten a 10 course meal.....meat, potatos, soup/salad....and lots of vegetables.....if they weren't mixed when she ate them, they certainly were mixed now.....it was like a cement truck unloaded right in front of the monitor.....took 'em at least 20 minutes to clean it up, but I had to smell it for the next 3 hours or more. Didn't get many singers after that though, guess every cloud has a silver lining.......johnny


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 3:57 pm 
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Yuk :shock:

I seem to remember that happening to Babs... She had the singer that puked on the microphone!

"And Next Up Is"..... :O

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 4:53 pm 
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Flipper @ Mon Apr 10, 2006 5:57 pm wrote:
Yuk :shock:

I seem to remember that happening to Babs... She had the singer that puked on the microphone!

"And Next Up Is"..... :O


Minestrone?   LOL

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 8:36 pm 
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hehe......."dingbat...." lol

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 12:17 am 
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Odie @ 10th April 2006, 3:59 pm wrote:
The audience is spending more time staring at their cell phones then watching the singers.

The really good singers aren't signing up because they have a scratchy throat.

Couples in the audience are having serious conversations and look annoyed whenever the KJ talks.

Everytime a touch down is scored on ESPN the guys all yell out and hi-five each other.

Everybody is ordering food instead of drinks and they want to get home early.

There's a substitute KJ and he can't figure out the system.

There's a table of drunk 21 year olds who are trying all new songs.

The 55 year olds are doing old Madonna songs or the Pussycat Doll's "Don't Cha",

Every guy suddenly thinks he's Toby Keith or Tim McGraw,

And last but not least, Babs couldn't make it that night!



Then it is Badsinger's turn to sing

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