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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 4:56 am 
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Re: What do you do for a living?


I give philosophical dissertations in Karaoke rooms.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 5:55 am 
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I have been given the role of "domestic goddess" at least for now. I actually would rather be working, but I am in care of my now ex boyfriend's autistic son, so I can't really work. It's almost impossible to find a sitter for a child who has so many behavioral issues. So recently when my boyfriend and I split, I got my own room. I take care of Brandon like he is one of my own (I have 2 boys as well) It's gonna be a busy summer! lol

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 6:18 am 
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fierynette @ Fri Jun 23, 2006 7:55 am wrote:
I have been given the role of "domestic goddess" at least for now. I actually would rather be working, but I am in care of my now ex boyfriend's autistic son, so I can't really work. It's almost impossible to find a sitter for a child who has so many behavioral issues. So recently when my boyfriend and I split, I got my own room. I take care of Brandon like he is one of my own (I have 2 boys as well) It's gonna be a busy summer! lol
Bless you fierynette.

If my parents only knew about my mild autism when I was a child things would be different for me. Doctors didn't even know about it so there was no way my poor folks could. My mother died thinking she failed me.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 8:19 am 
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Aww man that sucks. Even though Jay and I have parted ways I will always love Brandon like one of my own kids. He has been failed by both his birth mother and in turn his Grandmother. When he was 2 and 3, he was in custody of his Mother and she was abusing and neglecting him...this was around the time they discovered he had autism. Because he is not a typical autistic (he is very affectionate and social) they had trouble diagnosing him at first. As they were doing this he was going through hell with his mom at her place. He got taken away and went in custody of his Grandma. At this point  he had become antisocial, and his Grandma is responsible for bringing him back out of his shell. However as time wore on she was more in it for the money she was getting (about $600 a month) and less for him. She had Jay's autistic brother taking care of him about 95% of the time. Jay wanted him to come live here and she argued, said change wasn't good for him... funny half the conversations that took place, she would mention money. We found out from Jay's father that Jay's mother had hit Brandon on more than one occasion and was screaming at him and calling him names (Jay's brother had spilled). We immediately kept him here after his weekend visit, when Jay's mom came to pick him up *I* got in her face and told her he was staying here. Sad really cause now I am the bad guy from her point of view just because Jay couldn't open his mouth and say it instead. I have gone through more than a little bit of stress to protect his child because I feel he has been failed too much already. It is also why I am staying in this house. I love him to pieces, despite the fact he has assaulted me on more than one occasion and I will continue to. It's sad that they weren't better at diagnosing disabilities back when you were a kid, you seem like a very smart cookie. It would have made your life so much easier if you had some support system. Brandon is a pretty severe case though, it wouldn't have gone unrecognized. He is 8 and operates at the level of a 2-3 year old. He will never go to college, might never go to high school even. He needs to have someone in his life who is stable, and his dad can't just quit work. So here I am.  :)

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 8:24 am 
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fierynette @ Fri Jun 23, 2006 10:19 am wrote:
Aww man that sucks. Even though Jay and I have parted ways I will always love Brandon like one of my own kids. He has been failed by both his birth mother and in turn his Grandmother. When he was 2 and 3, he was in custody of his Mother and she was abusing and neglecting him...this was around the time they discovered he had autism. Because he is not a typical autistic (he is very affectionate and social) they had trouble diagnosing him at first. As they were doing this he was going through hell with his mom at her place. He got taken away and went in custody of his Grandma. At this point  he had become antisocial, and his Grandma is responsible for bringing him back out of his shell. However as time wore on she was more in it for the money she was getting (about $600 a month) and less for him. She had Jay's autistic brother taking care of him about 95% of the time. Jay wanted him to come live here and she argued, said change wasn't good for him... funny half the conversations that took place, she would mention money. We found out from Jay's father that Jay's mother had hit Brandon on more than one occasion and was screaming at him and calling him names (Jay's brother had spilled). We immediately kept him here after his weekend visit, when Jay's mom came to pick him up *I* got in her face and told her he was staying here. Sad really cause now I am the bad guy from her point of view just because Jay couldn't open his mouth and say it instead. I have gone through more than a little bit of stress to protect his child because I feel he has been failed too much already. It is also why I am staying in this house. I love him to pieces, despite the fact he has assaulted me on more than one occasion and I will continue to. It's sad that they weren't better at diagnosing disabilities back when you were a kid, you seem like a very smart cookie. It would have made your life so much easier if you had some support system. Brandon is a pretty severe case though, it wouldn't have gone unrecognized. He is 8 and operates at the level of a 2-3 year old. He will never go to college, might never go to high school even. He needs to have someone in his life who is stable, and his dad can't just quit work. So here I am.  :)
I don't know what to say. When I see someone helping other people it warms my heart. When that same someone is made out to be a "bad guy" for doing so it unnerves me.

Thanks for mentioning this fierynette. It made my day.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 8:33 am 
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Heh np... I am an open book, sometimes to my own detrement. I like to be able to share in hopes it might shine some light on someone else's problems. I came from a long history of abuse that I kept hidden because I didn't realize there was support out there. I swore I would never keep closed about my experiences in hopes that someone else might be able to benefit... even if it's an uber-long post on a forums thread. lol Glad to hear that this helped in some way  :hug:

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 8:40 am 
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fierynette @ Fri Jun 23, 2006 10:33 am wrote:
Heh np... I am an open book, sometimes to my own detrement. I like to be able to share in hopes it might shine some light on someone else's problems. I came from a long history of abuse that I kept hidden because I didn't realize there was support out there. I swore I would never keep closed about my experiences in hopes that someone else might be able to benefit... even if it's an uber-long post on a forums thread. lol Glad to hear that this helped in some way  :hug:
I respect that and thanks.

I am an open-book as well, although there are things in my past that I may never talk about. My wife knows about them and that is a good place to be.

I enjoy reading your posts fierynette, and am looking forward to many more.

Chuck


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 8:51 am 
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Aww well thanks Chuck :D Nice that someone appreciates I talk too much  LOL

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 3:41 pm 
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I really admire you for doing what you do fiery - its a tough situation you are in, but you are putting the childs needs in front of your own - you are a very special person for sure.

I've never answered this one, but I might as well now. For years I was a bookkeeper/office manager for several construction companies across Northern Michigan. Many jobs I knew would be of limited duration for special projects, then off to find another job....my impulsiveness took care of the rest. A boss general doesn't like it when you tell him his ideas suck LMAO. The joys of ADHD. Anyway, I finally got smart and contracted out my bookkeeping services so that I was technically my own boss - best thing I ever did. Since I was no longer tied to the 8 - 5 life, I started pursuing my painting (I had done some of that in the early 80's commercially) and picked up signs and race cars mainly...it was a blast but really takes a toll on you after awhile. Now I'm luckily...I'm mostly retired, but keep one bookkeeping client because I love working there, and I have gotten into designing body jewelry and my crazy aliens. I also do some t-shirt designing and recently upgraded my PC to handle bigger programs so that I can get crazier with the photo and design stuff. Although I really need new subject matter - my last project was to take a pic of a heap of slimy eels and turn them into a martini - don't ask LMAO.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 4:56 pm 
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fierynette @ Fri Jun 23, 2006 10:51 am wrote:
Aww well thanks Chuck :D Nice that someone appreciates I talk too much  LOL
Wow.....I don't know what to say....cept I'm glad to meet someone so understanding and kind. :D


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 5:04 pm 
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A boss general doesn't like it when you tell him his ideas suck


Bosses get attitudes when you tell them where to go.  I had probs comparable..

Hey.  You do T-shirt Design ?   I have this idea for singers showcase !
Any ideas ?

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 5:05 pm 
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vettelady @ June 23rd 2006, 17:41 wrote:
I really admire you for doing what you do fiery - its a tough situation you are in, but you are putting the childs needs in front of your own - you are a very special person for sure.

I've never answered this one, but I might as well now. For years I was a bookkeeper/office manager for several construction companies across Northern Michigan. Many jobs I knew would be of limited duration for special projects, then off to find another job....my impulsiveness took care of the rest. A boss general doesn't like it when you tell him his ideas suck LMAO. The joys of ADHD. Anyway, I finally got smart and contracted out my bookkeeping services so that I was technically my own boss - best thing I ever did. Since I was no longer tied to the 8 - 5 life, I started pursuing my painting (I had done some of that in the early 80's commercially) and picked up signs and race cars mainly...it was a blast but really takes a toll on you after awhile. Now I'm luckily...I'm mostly retired, but keep one bookkeeping client because I love working there, and I have gotten into designing body jewelry and my crazy aliens. I also do some t-shirt designing and recently upgraded my PC to handle bigger programs so that I can get crazier with the photo and design stuff. Although I really need new subject matter - my last project was to take a pic of a heap of slimy eels and turn them into a martini - don't ask LMAO.


I want one of those t shirts when you finish them! :P

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 5:08 pm 
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Keith02 @ June 23rd 2006, 18:56 wrote:
fierynette @ Fri Jun 23, 2006 10:51 am wrote:
Aww well thanks Chuck :D Nice that someone appreciates I talk too much  LOL
Wow.....I don't know what to say....cept I'm glad to meet someone so understanding and kind. :D

Thanks for the kind comment....call me human. I feel all people should be like that, it's a shame more people don't put kids ahead of themselves. I love Brandon and will do whatever it takes to make sure he is with someone dependable. Yeah it's a pain living in the same house with my ex bf, especially when we have just split, but I'll live. Brandon needs some stability for once, and we are having enough issues with his meds as it is. I'm not going anywhere.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 5:48 pm 
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Wait.....Let me get this straight........you are living with your ex boyfriend and taking care of his disabled child, so that means you can't work and support yourself....and that means each of you can move on to other relationships while you still live under the same roof.

What does your ex say about this situation?


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 5:56 pm 
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Actually it is fairly amicable and when things change and one of us does move on, we will look into finding someone to take care of him. We are both free to date, neither of us is getting jealous or anything. He appreciates I am willing to stay for the moment. As for supporting myself, I am in the process of setting up a business making jewelry out of the house. The way I see it, Brandon has had enough instability in his life... I refuse to contribute to that. My bedroom is downstairs, Jay's is up and we get along ok despite the circumstances.  Jay knows the responsibility for things going wrong lies with him, and he has accepted it. He has to really, because I refuse to fall back into the old pattern.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 6:37 pm 
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We are both free to date, neither of us is getting jealous or anything.



Some can handle this,  other's of us can't imagine it.  Many different types of people with different attitudes and outlooks.  I wish they offered a course someplace on how to transcend your ego.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 6:39 pm 
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I think I'm catching up here now....you made a post earlier about being abused all your life.....Then apparently your ex did something abusive so you cut him off but you are sticking round to care for his child and because you don't have your own place to live....and he's ok with it cause he accepts that he abused you and diserves the alienation of affection thang.

Wow.

You know, my first wife of 24 years was raped by her dad for several years from the age of 6-11.....so she had some real issues fersure......but not because of things I did to her....yet, if you asked her today, I was abusive to her......It was like she transferred it all to me and blamed me for her past abuse.....When it all came out in therapy, I was like "Ok, I'm outta here, If she can't deal with all this at 45, she never will."....

Last I heard she is still not dealing with it.....But you know, for quite a few years she had me convinced I was the root of her problems......But once I removed myself from the problem she really went in the crapper....And I just kinda shrugged and moved on.

Today she is married to a guy, yet she secretly rents an empty condo(over two years now) so she can have a place to escape to if he becomes abusive....Yep, she has been paying 700/month for over two years to rent an empty condo just in case he abuses her....Just in case....and he ain't got a clue yet that he looks more and more like her father to her everyday.

So....what kinda jewelry do you make?


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 7:00 pm 
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Well the ex I am with now I had only been with for like a year or so and he never laid a hand on me. It was my ex husband I had my issues with. We are peaceful now, after me spending 2 months in England for a breather and a year and a half of working out issues. I never transfer anything from one person to another, it's a terrible way to deal with issues. I slowly dealt with most my demons... still a few lingering but I try not to drag other people into it when I am feeling frustrated.
As for jewelry, it's beaded stuff I make, like with gemstone and glass beads. I also know how to make soap and bath products but making those requires more space. Heck I know how to make lots of things.... just not the money to start an overinflated business.. better to start small right? hehe

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 10:30 pm 
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You are really close!


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 10:34 pm 
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fierynette @ Fri Jun 23, 2006 9:00 pm wrote:
Well the ex I am with now I had only been with for like a year or so and he never laid a hand on me. It was my ex husband I had my issues with. We are peaceful now, after me spending 2 months in England for a breather and a year and a half of working out issues. I never transfer anything from one person to another, it's a terrible way to deal with issues. I slowly dealt with most my demons... still a few lingering but I try not to drag other people into it when I am feeling frustrated.
As for jewelry, it's beaded stuff I make, like with gemstone and glass beads. I also know how to make soap and bath products but making those requires more space. Heck I know how to make lots of things.... just not the money to start an overinflated business.. better to start small right? hehe
If you ever want to do a website, unless you already have one; GiGi and I might be able to help.


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